One of the worst ways to end a relationship is with infidelity.
Trust is the foundation of every relationship. If you can't trust your partner, someone you want to spend your life with, then who can you trust?
It could be earth-shattering discover that your other half has strayed. And even if the relationship doesn't end, the damage is done.
It's an emotional toll to not be able to rely on your partner to not cheat on you.
Redditor TheGoodOJ wanted to know how to avoid heartbreak, and so asked people:
"What signs do you look out for to know if your significant other is cheating on you?"
Keen Instincts
"When my first ex was cheating on me I had no evidence and really no hints to it whatsoever, however, I had this terrible gut wrenching feeling that she was but I was naive enough to dismiss it. Always trust your gut but never accuse without evidence."
– Gamefreak536451
Defensive Behavior
"Less sex, defensive behavior when asked simple questions, and I found out her Tinder profile was still active . We originally met via Tinder so I kind of had it coming."
– Zephyror
Unfair Accusations
"I think if they constantly accuse you of cheating when you've never been anything but loyal, that's a sign of their mindset, not a good one."
– aflashinlifespan
Involuntary Information
"Constant reassurance that they're not cheating on you when you haven't even accused them of it."
"In a panic she also went for the morning after pill when we hadn't slept together in more than a week. That was quite a good one as i got about 30 different reasons for it."
"Yeah i'm still bitter about a breakup HAHA." – AltruisticVictory3
Slam-Dunks.
"An acquaintance from years ago was a part-time Private Investigator."
"He told me that cheating cases were slam-dunks. The suspicious SO would hire him, and he would recommend that they sign up for a club or a course or a fitness class. Anything, provided it was a regularly scheduled event."
"Then he would wait a couple of weeks, and tail the suspected cheater. 99 times out of a hundred, if they knew their SO was occupied for a couple of hours, that's when they would hop the fence. Gotcha."
– PJMurphy
My Who?
Giphy"You wanna go to the movies or something tonight?"
"Can't, I'm banging your cousin."
– StrangeEye3
Trust your guts.
"When you know they've cheated in the past - with you on their ex is the obvious classic here - expect exactly the same to happen to you. In other words, do not start to think of yourself as the exception."
"Loss of intensity. And I'm not only talking about the good kind. The other sort is often more telling. A relationship may not be in the best of places, but it's over when fights turn to silence. You get the gist, applies to lots of areas."
"Probably the biggest two. Best course of action: trust your guts. You pick up on more things than you think. Or to be more precise: than you can put into words. Also important here: know yourself well enough to notice when you're starting to deceive yourself. I've yet to see one of these "left me out of the blue" stories, where the signs weren't entirely clear to everybody around but the one person in denial."
Red Flag
Giphy"From experience it's usually all those things that make your gut feeling go wild with red flags. Maybe some people are ok with a hidden relationship status on fb but in my case it was a red flag. Some people don't care if their S.O. doesn't post about them but in my case it became a red flag."
"I think red flags can be really specific to each relationship but if you have to ask then usually you already know, you just need some solid proof to get you to see it." – pirate_for_life
16. Fool Me Once....
"More and more money is mysteriously missing from the bank and he/she is suddenly able to not only buy up Boardwalk and Park Place, but immediately starts adding hotels to these high-end properties. [Tip: Subtly lift up the board and see if he/she has been squirreling away ill-gotten cash underneath. That's exactly what my cheating mistress was doing when we would play Monopoly in the motel room. Fool me once...]" – shugerbooger
Parents Explain Which Things Surprised Them Most When Their Child Moved Out | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Parenting is a lifelong commitment but the load is certainly lightened when kids go off to college or move away for their first "adult" job. It can be quite ...Does She?
"Does she keep her phone locked around you? Does she watch how much she drinks around you? Does she leave the room when she takes phone calls? Does she keep perfume in her purse? Does she shower before sex? Does she shower after sex?" – justDave91
Small behavior changes.
Giphy"Small behavior changes."
"With an ex of mine, we always used to be very open with each other especially when it came to our phones. We'd take calls or check messages for the other if they were busy and there was no need for passwords cause neither of us worried. Then it changed. He became very secretive and would guard his phone and keep it in his pocket or always have it with the screen facing down. It wasn't hard to figure out what was going on."
"There was also a decrease in attention or contact. He didn't want to hug me or even hang out with me without it seeming like a chore for him." – EtherealArmy
Password.
"Their phone..."
"So many dead giveaways that never really existed before."
- Their phone is attached to the hip...
- It has a password, or a new password...
- Password changes frequently...
- Does not use any biometrics to unlock...
- Unnecessarily long password...
- Is very protective of said device... (Never lets you handle it under any circumstance. Never lets you look at the screen when it's unlocked...for any reason!)
- Is on it more frequently...
- If you live in North America...anywhere, and they have a dual sim device...
- Notifications is turned off, so is ring tone/vibration... – winter_quanza_een
Change in schedule.
Giphy"Change in schedule. Less interested in sex with you. Gets agitated if you need to borrow their phone. Right after getting home, not wanting to do stuff until they showered and changed. Especially if they didn't mind before. Mostly looking for personality changes." – thisguysbosses
No Lectures
"From experience,"
"She says she's busy with work when you have a date idea you know she'd like. And she only works mornings four days a week. I did the math and it didn't add up and then I caught her with another man."
"She lectures you about jealousy alot and guilt trips and shames you and demands you get counseling. She wouldn't be that concerned if she didn't have other men she didn't want you getting in the way of." – soda171717
Distracting from what's going on
"Starting a fight or making a huge drama when they arrive home so you think about that instead of where they've been."
– DegeneratesInc
They project onto you
"I think if they constantly accuse you of cheating when you've never been anything but loyal, that's a sign of their mindset, not a good one."
– aflashinlifespan
If they're indifferent
"I was told hate is not the opposite of love, indifference is. In the grand scheme of things talk to one another. But be worried if they just don't care."
– Zeapher
They might be hiding something
Giphy"Needing their phone everywhere they go, guarding of the phone, and withdrawn or less communication. These are all red flags, but one doesn't mean cheating, but more of a collective of things."
Trust your instincts
"When my first ex was cheating on me I had no evidence and really no hints to it whatsoever, however, I had this terrible gut wrenching feeling that she was but I was naive enough to dismiss it. Always trust your gut but never accuse without evidence."
– Gamefreak536451
They try to change you
"My ex fiancé suddenly wanted to become vegetarian although he's always been an absolute carnivore. He started telling me that I would look better with short hair. Turns out the side girl had short hair and was vegetarian."
– Chrysophren
Simple little lies
"lying. it doesn't matter what its about. I've uncovered cheating in past relationships by prying at the smallest lie."
– rosecolour
Drastic behavioral changes
Giphy"Any changes. Dressing up, going out all of a sudden, going to the gym more often, constantly on the phone."
– Nazisloveme
They get way too agreeable
"When they are telling you exactly what you want to hear which will sound strange if you were expecting them to say something contrary to that in the first place."
– NoMoreNiceyNice
If you're doubting you S.O., it's not a good sign
"Do yourself a favor and don't go down that rabbit hole. If you have no trust in a relationship, you have nothing."
– CarinaRegina1957
Many Redditors brought up similar points about guarding cellphones or changes in behavior, as indication of red flags in a deceitful relationship.
But the one constant observation was that people should listen to their guts when they have their suspicions about the person they're sleeping with.