Sometimes, we can tell after the first date that we've met the person we'll spend the rest of our lives with.
if a year or two (or five... or ten...) passes, it's easy to feel that our premonition that we have, indeed, met the love of our life was accurate.
Unfortunately, that isn't always the case, as sometimes what seems like an unbreakable love might come to a very unexpected end.
Sometimes owing to deceit and betrayal, other times for reasons far more complicated, but no less painful.
Redditor photo_inbloom was curious to hear why the longest lasting relationships people ever had came to an end, leading them to ask:
"How long was your longest relationship and why did you break up?"
Equality Is The Foundation Of A Partnership
"On and off for ten years."
"I started to feel like he was not on my team but was just cheering me on."
"Never came to look at houses with me before I bought one for us to live in, never had an interest in vacations, didn't have a savings account, didn't pay his bills."
"Loved him, trusted him, had the most fun in his presence but ultimately I couldn't do it anymore."
"I couldn't be the only adult."
"It was hard."- RanchDubois_
She Said She Needed Time... She Just Didn't Say How Much...
"7 years!"
"She said she needed a time for herself."
"A month later she was already living with another man."- Sobeksdream
Life Is Short, But Love Is Eternal
"3 years."
"He passed away from cancer."
"We technically never broke up but it's hard being in a relationship with someone who's gone."
"I will always love him though and carry him with me even though our time together was short."
"Had things been different we would be life partners."- ShadowStarDragon
Never Too Late!
"20 years."
"She cheated and we got divorced and life’s been good for me since."
"Met a new love and life truly is grand."- Inkspotten
Ignorance Is Not Always Bliss
"11 years."
"I was 18 when I got with him."
"All sorts of stuff to do with emotional abuse, manipulation, uncontrollable ego etc."
"Its a fresh break up so I’m still processing."
"But my eyes have opened to a lot of things and I am SO glad I am free."- Charming_Princes
Honesty Is ALWAYS The Best Policy
"5 years."
"Apparently he had issues with me he didn’t want to discuss or work on."
"I'm still trying to get past the anger of it all."- Sweet_rose1x
When You Reach A Dead End, Best To Turn Around
"High school sweethearts, we broke up 1 month before 10 year anniversary."
"We grew apart, our connection was disguised as love, but it was the type of love you have for a family member. It wasn't romantic anymore, and we were holding eachother back from growing into who we both were supposed to be."
"Met my now husband very soon after, and ex is engaged to the girl I assume he was emotionally cheating on me with, as I suspected their connection for a while."
"Honestly, it worked out amazing for both of us, like instantly life changing in the best way."
"Never ever stay in a dead relationship, you are missing out on the beauty of love."- Ch3wbacca1
The Folly Of Youth
"7.5 years."
"We were dating since college and talked about marriage but he started having doubts about me."
"We’re super honest with each other and he told me he started thinking about another girl, he could’ve done better, and how he’s embarrassed when his aunt asked him whether I already lost weight or not."
"The problem started with us having arguments when I dyed my hair, he didn’t like it and he views it as an impulsive decision & I’m too spontaneous."
"Then I wanted to lose weight, he was supportive even bought me a Fitbit but he gets frustrated when I didn’t show any result."
"Mind you starting out was hard because I have to drastically change my lifestyle & mindset."
"He’s upset because I didn’t follow what ‘it should be’ according to his standards."
"One time he asked me if in my workout I can add more cardio so my butt would be smaller."
"I had to explain I have a pear body shape so even if I weighed less, my body shape will remains."
"He also always have something to say about the way I dress, how he likes it more ‘minimal’ ‘mature’ and not too flashy (I wear like Y2K inspired tops & jeans)."
"Looking back, I was blaming myself too much and I did everything I could to satisfy what he wanted but it was never enough."
"I’m quite vocal and when I didn’t agree with him I’ll send out long paragraphs trying to explain what it is from my side."
"He felt like I wasn’t listening to him, that he always had to compromise."
"So I blamed myself maybe I should’ve handled it better, maybe I should just listen to him more and try to do what he wants first and only disagree with him when I did it & it doesn’t work for me."
"I also hardly get jealous and I rarely have any demands for him (except when he started to get distant and I called him out on that)."
"This led him to believe that he’s toxic to me, that he’s controlling me and he didn’t like it but he can’t help but feel that way."
"He is a really good guy."
"But growing up from college to adulthood, we started to have different priorities from back then & I just didn’t fit into his now."
"Our break up was in the nicest way possible, we still remain in contact after months & talked about our new dating life."
"I’m still in good terms with his family until now."
"I learned a lot from this relationship and I feel like I matured a lot & a better person post-break up."
"I’m grateful in a way, otherwise I’ll never experience heartbreak and how to recover from it."
"Now I know I can do it, and when it happens again, I always get back from it."
"Now he found someone on dating app, been dating for less than a year and will marry that girl next year."
"I’m single, been dating on and off, but recently got heartbroken."
"Although I know I’ll get through this, can’t help but taking it reaaaaally slow now as I don’t want to experience another one."-bubuthesunflower
When In Doubt, Bite The Bullet
"9 months."
"He was stringing me along and didn't have the guts to tell me his feelings had changed and that he didn't want to be with me because it would upset me."- perfectgirlfriendOX
It Takes Two
"10 years."
"When we met, we were both kind of a mess, but over that 10 years, I did a lot of work on myself and made a lot of progress towards being the sort of person I'd like to be."
"He spent the 10 years doing absolutely nothing."
"So we were no longer compatible."- Livid_Parsnip6190
Cruel, Cruel Fate
"18 years, and then she passed from brain cancer in February."
"At 41."- daddyboi83
Compatibility Matters
"Before my husband, it was 6 years."
"We brought out the literal worst version of each other and were in an off and on again cycle."
"Best to find people who uplift each other and are stable."- RecordCompetitive758
Sometimes You Just Don't Know How Good You Had It
"3 years."
"That was 3 years ago I broke up with my ex."
"I was definitely immature."
"Took the relationship for granted."
"Got too used to the comfort and barely tried."
"Now I know how important it is to keep trying and showing affection."
"I know it's a two-way street, but I think it's mainly a me thing."
"I could have done more."- thenumber88
You Think You Know Someone
"Just under 25 years."
"I 'broke up' with her because she cheated so I divorced her and quickly too."- No_Roof_1910
Sometimes, painful though it may be, better to end something that clearly isn't working rather than force something that can never be.