The city of Los Angeles is determined to deep-six house parties, and its resident prankster, "Chad Kroeger," marched down to City Hall to fight for his right to party.
Not to be confused with the alt-rock fronter of Nickelback, this self-proclaimed "activist and house party enthusiast" made his way to the floor of the Los Angeles City Council to "stop this future atroxity [sic]” and preserve the sanctity of “chugging with [the] boys” in a rad prank.
His presentation held innocuous promise.
Over in the past week, I've been in a state of deep despair upon hearing the news that L.A. is trying to outlaw house parties in the Hollywood Hills.
And then his description of house parties introduced council members to some gnarly party jargon, much to our delight.
House parties are the bedrock of my development as a young man in San Clemente. My first introduction to manhood came when the captain of my water polo team, "Boomer Kingsley," asked me to shotgun a tall can of budlight in front of the whole squad at his end of the season bash. His parents were in Tahoe at the time, so we tore that weekend up. It was epic. And I was super stoked.
He went on to discuss the vital role house parties had on his teenage experience.
My newfound confidence gave me the courage to ask out the most popular girl in school. Lauren Stockholder to prom that year. She rejected me and I had to go with Stacy McMillan but I didn't care because I was so amped on choking with my boys. That's what house parties do.
Sadly, he was not allowed to continue with his earnest plea. The council had enough and Kroeger was cut-off. "Thank you, next! Next speaker please come and identify yourself," said City Council President Herb J. Wesson Jr.
Chad, who was played by comedian Tom Allen, was joined by another bro, "JT," played by John Parr, to add to the plea. He stepped up to the mic and addressed the floor with, "Whaddup, council. My name is JT Parr." And the Internet fell in love with these dudes even more.
I grew up like most kids, worried I couldn't bench two plates. That I wouldn't fit in. That I wouldn't find love. Then I discovered partying and suddenly all those worries went to the wayside. I didn't need love. I had keg stands.&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.avclub.com%2Fajax%2Finset%2Fiframe%3Fid%3Dtwitter-938918302470017025%26autosize%3D1
I discovered I was great at raging and it revealed wonderful things about myself. I could relate to bros regardless of what kind of bros they were. I could be at a party and moon people and everyone would laugh, you know, be witty. Or I could play beer pong and compete with real integrity. In short, I fulfilled my potential.
He built an even more prominent case, saying that parties are essential because it encouraged bonding. "There's no more effective environment for that than a fricking rager!" But JT's moment was snuffed out when the next speaker was invited to come forward. It's awesome the bros were even allowed to go on as long as they did with a plethora of quotable one-liners.
President Wesson Jr. probably made the best statement after thanking the bros' for their appearances that afternoon. "I want to welcome you to L.A. Council's Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure," he said.
Their brief moment of glory was posted on Chad's Instagram account, racking up thousands of views. But the video reached viral status when it was posted on the Barstools Sports Instagram account, where it clocked in over 1.13 million views.
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