The Worst Ways People Have Ever Tried To Flirt With Someone

The amount of stories I could tell y'all from my NYC club days.

We don't have the time.

A What?

"One time at a house party a girl whispered in my ear 'Have you ever licked a caterpillar?' Then tried to get me to come home with her. I never figured out what that innuendo was supposed to mean 😅."

Much-Audience-5800

Oh Nuts

"Kissed me out of the blue. Not a bad thing in and of itself, I was into her, she was into me, and she knew how shy I was so she made the first move. The issue was that shortly before she kissed me, she had eaten a Snickers bar. I'm allergic to peanuts."

Local64bithero

"His lips, tongue, and whatever else she lobbered on quickly turned an ugly mottled red and swelled up until he couldn't talk, which means he couldn't even tell her what was wrong, as he desperately sought medical attention. Oh, sweet memories of young love."

StrawberryGasoline

It's YOU!

"I (M) went out to dinner with a group of friends. One girl said to the whole table "I'm waiting for the man I love to realize that the love of his life is sitting directly in front of him. She was sitting directly in front of me."

"Yes, everyone at the table realized what she meant and got very uncomfortable with her. Myself included."

"Backstory: She directly asked me out a few weeks earlier but I told her that I don't like her that way. Nevertheless, she persisted (and got rejected again)."

EponymousTitular

A Bad Setting

"I had a woman hit on me at an STD testing clinic. I definitely respect the game, but I was there to get tested because I had just gone exclusive with someone and wanted to get checked up before we stopped using condoms."

Turdsworth

"Imagine the pick-up line for meeting someone at an STD clinic: 'Do you come here often?'"

Lvcivs2311

Read the room people.

Not just the people in it... the ACTUAL room!

Swing or Duck

"Hosted a party in college with some friends, a girl that was trying to talk to me wanted to prove how strong she was and how good she was at boxing."

"Threw a mean haymaker right across my jaw. I randomly met up with her two years later at another random party. She introduced me to her friends as 'the cute guy I punched in the face.'"

"Just to clarify, it wasn’t a malicious act. She asked if she could show how strong she was by punching me and I said 'yes' not paying attention to what she was asking."

EBeast99

Weeks Gone By

"Borrowed my iPod and returned it. I put it in my desk drawer and forgot about it. She got real cold and distant and I just let it go. About 6 weeks later I saw the iPod in the drawer, charged it up, turned it on, and found she had left nude photos of herself."

Appropriate-Battle32

"I feel like people aren't appreciating how labor-intensive that was. She had to take the picture with a separate device. Upload them to a computer. download iTunes, and update java. Upload those pictures to the iPod."

Mnstrzero00

Don't Knock on My Door...

"My neighbor recently knocked on my door at around 10 pm to drunkenly tell me I was the pinnacle of masculinity because I leave for work at 7 30 every morning. Said she woke up to the sounds of me leaving and she is 'kind of in love with [me].'"

"Then she asked if she could kiss me, I said no, and she went ahead and tried anyway. Then she got all upset when I pulled back from her. There were tears."

"Spent the whole conversation, trying to figure out how to remove a person from my doorway."

"Context - I only speak to this woman roughly once a year when she appears at my door drunk, though usually she just asks my name for half an hour. Or asks if I am gay."

Ahrtimmer

But Who Hates Tapas?

"As I yawned with my eyes closed, as one does, he placed his index finger inside my mouth. At a dinner party, with several other people at the table."

Even_Accident9224

Oh my word.

Who raised these people?

Even wolves have better romantic etiquette.