Let's face it. Breaking up is hard to do, regardless of whether you initiate it or you're on the receiving end of the decision.
If the relationship has soured and both parties involved are not happy and have no interest in making it work, parting is a necessary sweet sorrow.
But just be gentle about delivering the blow.
Those who've had their heart broken shared their experiences after Redditor ImpressiveWrap7363 asked:
"What's the worst way someone broke up with you?"
They didn't want to be the bearer of the bad news, so they had someone else do it for them.
Tragic Aftermath
"Suddenly he wasn’t leaving his family’s house and no one was allowed to talk to him via phone so I showed up at their house asking to see him. Instead his grandma sat me down at the kitchen table and broke up with me for him."
"He then proceeded to stop talking to all of us because his family decided we were bad for him. A couple months later his new “friends” let him leave a party drunk and he died while driving impaired."
– lilchileah77
A Not--So Reluctant Father
"I have 2 bad ones. First one, he had his mom call me. Second one, we dated for 3 years & the whole time told me he didn't want kids. I finally got on board with the idea of never being a mother."
"Less than 2 months later, he called me to break up because he was marrying a woman he knocked up with whom he had been cheating on me. Skip ahead 30 years...he's a father of 4 and divorced and 3 of the 4 kids have gone no contact with him."
– readingreddit4fun
The pain runs deep.
The Final Kiss
"I woke up one morning and said I had plans with a friend and my partner said he did too and would meet me back home for a movie date later.. had a goodbye kiss and everything. Came home to all his things moved out and no response to texts."
"I was pregnant at the time. A little later on I found out he had been married the whole time. I had to move states pregnant and start over in a basement with no windows."
"All the while he was sending me nasty messages and then blocking me before I could respond. It was hands down the most depressing period of my life."
– TopScientist9241
Wrong Priorities
"He proposed the night before he left on a 3 month work trip. Called me 2 days later from an airport to tell me he changed his mind about getting married, was extending his work contract to 7 months, and he'd never be returning to where we lived. He sent his parents to pick up all his crap a week later."
– SpiritualCoconut8
Worst Birthday Ever
"I was 16, she was 15. My first love. I was pretty depressed because my home life was pretty fu*ked up because my mom was dying. She decided she wanted to break up. She could have just told me that. Instead, she picked up a guy she didn't know right in front of me at a party, went out to his car, got naked with him, had fun, came back, told me about it, and told me we were done. In front of a crowd."
"It was like she was trying to get back at me for something, but I never had any idea what. I never wronged her. I was just a sad guy at that time. 43 years later, and I don't feel any affection for her; but I don't understand why she did what she did. It still f'ks with my head that someone I loved, and who sure seemed to love me, could go out of their way to try and hurt me for no obvious reason."
"Three days later, my mom died. Three days after that was my 17th birthday, which I spent in a funeral home. Great week."
– _funkapus_
How To Grow Up Fast
"After a 2 yr relationship in graduate school, he sent me a link to find an engagement ring and had me come states over to live near his family. We put some things in storage and drove together to his family’s location. Before going, my family and his had all had dinner together; it was just a serious relationship."
"While living in his home town, I decided to visit my grandma for a week in another state. I invited him but he declined. He and I weren’t communicating well, is what I thought, so I wrote him a message before boarding the plane and said I was worried about what was going on with us."
"He was suddenly no longer around (left early/came home super late; sometimes stayed at his parent’s instead) and very untalkative. I was trying to work through whatever it was that was bothering him."
"I then received an email response when I arrived at my grandma’s that he wanted to break up and could never see or speak to me again b/c I was 'too convincing.' He said he wanted a housewife, anyway. He then completely cut me out. Never to discuss anything again."
"I had to go back out and get my things from our storage unit alone. I worked hard not to break anything. Just get my things. Cry. I then moved back across the country and in with my dad."
"Turns out I learned over the next few months some of the things he’d told me were just flat lies. He was also partying and had moved across the country to a new fancy job. I think he decided he didn’t want marriage at that point, or maybe with me, and didn’t know how to tell me to my face. So an email will do."
"I felt beyond heartbroken/lost. It was the first time I truly questioned reality. I was young and silly and trusting, really. Living in fantasy land. I hate to admit there was likely someone else (plural really)."
"I hadn’t questioned anything and in hindsight it is obvious. It changed my life perspective. Lesson firmly learned."
– New-Addition7841
They never saw it coming. But do they ever?
Vanishing
"Probably being ghosted after years of a seemingly solid relationship. It's like vanishing into thin air, leaving the other person to question their reality and sanity. A particularly cruel form of emotional abandonment."
– drainingurbank
The Text Message
"Didn’t happen to me but a girl I dated: she dated dude for 5-7 years can’t remember. she put her dude through a PhD program, paid all bills etc… at the end he gets a job overseas, she drops him off at the airport and as she’s pulling out of the airport; he sends her a breakup text."
– 9t3n
Unhappy Birthday
"On my 40th birthday at dinner. My then girlfriend took me out to dinner on my birthday. I was confused as to why there were no family and friends present. Then she broke it off and I understood why. Best present ever. My life got 100x better without that loser in it."
– deedubfry
Hold My Drink
"I was in college, and she had been my girlfriend for about 4 or 5 years. I was 'taking too long' to get out of college. She wanted me to drop out and start making babies. Right now. And I wouldn't do it. I insisted on graduation first."
"We went to a party after the fight. She started it up again at the party. I told her no."
"She said 'Well what about that guy over there?' and pointed at the guitar player in the band. 'I'll bet he's ready to start a family. Here, hold my drink'."
"She handed me her drink, walked over, introduced herself, married him a few months later and had a lot of babies."
"I was replaced faster and with less thought than someone would use changing a burned out light bulb."
– BoredBSEE
The Replacement
"Dated 4 years. Then I didn't hear from her for a few weeks. This is before mobile phones. I had moved to a new city and we were preparing for her to come out as well. I had left a few messages on her answering machine. Then after a few weeks the phone was answered ... by her new boyfriend."
"About a year later she called me and wanted to come back. She had moved in with her boyfriend and apparently it wasn't working out. She wanted to move in with me in the house I had bought in the new city we were supposed to move."
"I told her no. I wanted to say yes in my feelings, but my brain would not let that happen. After her and I dated 4 years, having someone else answer the phone and say he was her boyfriend was a real crusher."
There is a graceful way to end things, and the method doesn't include ghosting, texts, or Post-its like the one Carrie Bradshaw received from Berger in SATC. IYKYK.
Those unceremonious acts are just cowardly and cruel.
The only noble way to break up with someone is the old-fashioned way: In person.
It will be the most uncomfortable, painful, and emotional conversation to have. But giving the courtesy of showing face is the least you could do to someone whose heart is about to be shattered into gazillion pieces.