The Absolute Worst Things Someone Can Say After Sex

The worst I have ever said to someone is, "Morning. Sorry, I forgot your name."

Oh BOO!!

"My ex-husband was a virgin when we met. After his first time, he said, 'I don't know why people seem to enjoy that so much.'"

"THANKS, BOO."

StrangersWithAndi

Wow Really?!

"True story..."

"My partner and I of 8 years lost our virginities to each other. He grew up in a very sex-sheltered home and I grew up in a sex-positive one. We waited until our second-year anniversary, as we wanted to make sure he was ready before we started."

"We had sex and I thought it was great, but he gets up and puts his underwear back on, muttering."

"'That wasn't worth it.'"

"God d**n it hurt, but he was referring to the anxiety he had over sex, not the sex itself. We laugh about it now."

Eas_Mackenzie

I Tried

"I think I'll go back to being gay."

AlertWar2945

"Reminds me of an episode of King of the Hill where Hank finds out Peggy lost her virginity to her friend to see if he was really gay."

"I just remember Peggy talking about how unsure he was about it but after doing the deed with her how extremely sure he was that he was gay."

No-Significance2113

Check

"Now let’s go over your performance review."

repwin1

"You joke but I had a guy send me a Google form after sex so I could give him feedback on how he did."

single-left-sock

"Honestly though that would be hilarious. Like after you're done you reach under the bed and pull out a clipboard with a bunch of things in a checklist and a review section, then sign and stamp it and give it to them."

yamanamawa

WTF?

"Can you drop me off at my wife’s place?"

cerebralkrap

I wish I could say I believe that no person could say these things, but... I know people.

Why cheat? Why?

No Touching

"From a former FWB who never cuddled after sex and when I asked him once he said he had to leave to 'defrost some hot dogs for a party tomorrow' …a party that I wasn’t even invited to."

FishyBricky

"I mean, if he communicated with you that he did not want to cuddle and did not want anything deeper than just sex, I don't see why you'd be upset. It's really important to communicate each other's intentions before doing it."

DrizzlyEarth175

"To be fair, cuddling after sex releases oxytocin, which can increase bonding in ‘couples.’ FWB was probably scared of catching feelings."

"F**king hot dogs though!? 😆 that’s funny (now)."

ScumBunny

Keep it in the Family

"Pretty good but your mom was better."

tempestae

"I have said this. Or close. Got into a relationship with a girl whose mum, ten years previously I had hooked up with orally. She knew and thought it was funny. In fact one Xmas she was doing Xmas Dinner. Said 'Dan, mum will be here in an hour... help me in the kitchen. I'm not leaving you two in a room together.'"

rumbunkshus

Introductions

"What's your name again?"

Leocut78

"I had a girl ask me what HER name was right before. I had no idea. She didn’t leave (or tell me her name)."

PredictBaseballBot

I’ll never forget...

"Not sure if it’s the worst but I know it hurt. I was dating this guy is hs, a varsity jock, and really cute. I could’ve sworn he had women, anyways we start dating. The first time we hooked up it sucked so bad, I looked him dead in the eye and asked him if he was a virgin. I swear the look on his face is something I’ll never forget."

AuraRiver

Well that is a whole lot of therapy bills.

I get that sometimes words just fall out of our mouths, but Lord show a little decorum.