There is not one, correct way to parent.
After all, different children have different needs, and as a result some parents might need to adopt different methods so that their children can learn a lesson.
That being said, if there isn't one right way, there is definitely one wrong way, particularly regarding what some parents might say to their children.
Even though it might not seem like it at the time, all children take in and hear everything their parents tell them.
Some things parents say to their children might have lasting consequences, haunting them for the rest of their lives.
Redditor under20letters was curious to hear people considered the absolute worst thing parents could say to their children, leading them to ask:
Most Likely The Other Way Round
"I literally heard a mother say this to her child in the ER the other day."
"The kid was just talking to his mother about the usual stupid kid sh*t and she shouted 'YOURE RUINING MY LIFE! YOU OPENING YOUR MOUTH RIGHT NOW IS RUINING MY LIFE'."
"He put his head down and said sorry."
"My mom had her bad days but she never said sh*t like that to me."- PearlJamDudeVoice
Makes You Wonder Why They Did In The First Place
"If I could do my life over I'd never have had children."- FrogGob
Hurtful At Any Age
"'I feel like I have to love you because you're my child, but I don't like you at all'."
"My mom said this to me when I was 10 years old."- ATrulyTerriblePerson
So, So Wrong
"Saying that something is wrong with your brain."- Fit-Caterpillar-9729
It's What They Don't Say...
"Nothing, blaming them, not saying I’m proud of your or I love you."- FM_Apollyon
"Absolutely nothing."
"If you don't communicate, ask about their day, if you genuinely do not care about who they are as a person, it's just as damaging as saying the most hurtful things."
"So, if you really want to hurt someone, don't acknowledge them as a human being."- EeerrEeer
"Giving them the silent treatment over some offense (real or imagined)."- kenaisourdough
So Much For It Being The Thought That Counts
"Mine said to me when I was six years old: thanks for the [in school handmade diy] Christmas gift."
"'But you know we never use xyz, so this is useless'."
"'Why would you make that?'“
"Because I didn’t have a choice, and the teacher told us to?!"
"Can’t remember what it was, but this stuck with me."
"Been anxious about gifting them anything ever since."- SnicketyLemon875
As If They Know What That Is
"'Why can't you be normal?'"- Tail_Nom
Words Of Encouragement Are Not So Difficult
“'You just ruin everything'."
"'I hope you never find happiness'."
"'Hope your in-laws make you suffer'."
"'Hope your husband cheats on you'.”- Kindly-Try-7223
Where To Even Begin
"Take your pick, I heard all of these at various points during my childhood:"
"'I put my life on hold for (insert child's age) years for you/so you could exist'."
"From mom when she wanted something from me and I didn't immediately drop everything and come running."
"You don't live in a democracy, you live in a dictatorship, so you don't get a vote'."
"From mom at a young enough age that school hadn't gone over democracies and dicatorships yet, i was probably just trying to share an idea for plans or something."
"'You'd better quit backtalking me/being disrespectful'."
"When in the right during a disagreement with either."
"'Alright, put em up then' and 'you wanna take this outside?'"
"From dad who thinks challenging his 12-13 year old son to a fistfight is the way to deal with anger."
"I'm sure there's more that i haven't unrepressed yet."- kbyyru
And That Falls On Them...
"My parents had this saying: 'children are like pancakes the first one always fails'.”
"I’m the oldest of 2."
"At first I thought they meant it as a joke but after hearing that almost weekly for the past 18 years, I think they actually mean it."- thoyo3
And They're Probably Exhausted Of Not Being Loved.
"I'm so tired of pretending to love you."
"Not mine, read it in a similar post a while back but it stuck with me."
"I can't imagine the trust issues a kid would have hearing that said to them."- nenev
Blaming Them For Everything
"My mum said so much filth to me as a kid, as well as literally making me live in it."
"For better or for worse, til about age 11, I remember hardly anything, my brain has just completely deleted it all."
"But I'll always remember when she told me that she'll die soon from me and the stress I bring her."
"When she said this to me, I was already living my dad full time and only saw her one day a week after school and went home to my dad again in the evening."
"I wasn't even a bad kid, I was so quiet and could entertain myself."
"Little me didn't deserve to hear that."- THEgingerONEhasRISEN
Make no mistake, sometimes children need discipline and need to be spoken to sternly.
But scolding only works if it comes from a place of love.
As long as there's love, children will thrive, and any child who doesn't get the love they deserve is a deprived child.
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