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People Break Down The Worst Things They've Heard Someone Say In A Wedding Toast

People Break Down The Worst Things They've Heard Someone Say In A Wedding Toast
people raising wine glass in selective focus photography
Photo by Al Elmes on Unsplash

Reddit user Due_Pumpkin1293 asked: 'Giving a toast at a wedding is common, what’s the worst thing you’ve heard someone say while they were giving one ?;

There are moments in weddings that those in attendance look forward to with anticipation.

The first sight of the bride walking down the aisle, the first kiss of the happy couple, the first dance.


When it comes time for the toasts, however, people often look toward them with an even amount of excitement and trepidation.

As certain jokes might not land the way the best man or maid of honor thought they would, or sometimes the father of the bride might have had one too many before the time came for his toast.

Leading the toasts to be memorable for all the wrong reasons.

Redditor Due_Pumpkin1293 was eager to hear about the most cringe inducing wedding toasts of all time, leading them to ask:
"Giving a toast at a wedding is common, what’s the worst thing you’ve heard someone say while they were giving one ?"

Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder

"Best man speech: 'Back in high school when Bill first told me he liked Jackie I said Jackie!? Ewww! But that's how I knew Bill really liked her for who she was as a person'."

"And yeah Jackie was not very attractive'."- nucl9us1988

Favoritism Is Definitely Real...

"Father of the bride toasting his daughter (he has 2 other daughters as well):

"'You know, she may not be the smartest or prettiest in the family, but let me tell you, she has a good heart!'"

"Like what the hell was he thinking?"

"Everyone collectively cringed."- jgilbs

You Can't Choose Your In-Laws...

"My friend’s father (father of the bride) just listed off everything he didn’t like about the groom in his speech at her wedding."

"So something like 'well you’re not a doctor, you don’t have all of your hair, and you’re not the smartest man she’s dated'."

"'But welcome to the family I guess'.”

"Suuuuuuper awkward."

"The grooms family took the opposite direction and gushed about how much they loved my friend."

"Made the father look even worse in comparison."- permanentlytiredAF

A Second Opinion Never Hurts

"My dad is hilarious and loving, but public speaking isn't his strong suit."

"At my younger sister's wedding a few years ago, he gave this rambling speech where he described her as a 'plane that just taxied on the runway forever, and you wondered if it would ever take off'."

"He was trying to say she was a late bloomer, but he made this hand motion of a plane just stuck on the runway."

"We gave him so much grief for that because he basically told everyone she didn't 'blossom' until she met her husband, who's the life of the party."

"Fast forward to my wedding a few months ago."

"I jokingly told him he needed to step up his game after my sister's speech."

"I was sure he'd put more effort into mine after all the teasing he got."

"Nope."

"He told everyone that he thought I was autistic when I was young and ended it by saying, 'but I don't think she turned out to be'."

"I spent the rest of my wedding night fake-laughing at everyone's autism jokes."

"Thanks, Dad."- SeaBrilliant7

Awkward Ed Helms GIF by The OfficeGiphy

T.M.I.

"Best man said, 'I hope you (speaking to the bride) are well rested up and ready to be stretched because my boy gonna turn you into a pretzel tonight!'"

"I'm not even fully sure what that means, but I was sitting right next to the father of the bride and he was not happy and the mother looked mortified."- agent_x_75228

Someone Got It...

"I went to a wedding where the best man stood up and gave a speech as follows:"

"'May your wedding night be like KFC, a bit of breast, a little thigh, and when you're finished, nothing but a greasy box'."

"The bride and groom were furious."

"A lot of people laughed."

"The priest was one of them."- coupdelune

Honorable Behavior Indeed...

"Drunk maid of (dis)honor disclosed that she’d hat-tricked the bride - slept with new husband (before he and bride started dating but still, and bride was unaware), bride’s brother, and bride’s dad."

"She started out great but was too drunk to read her prepared notes and decided to wing it instead."

"That first dance after dinner was pretty awkward, as bride’s parents were very much married."

"I was at a table of people who all kinda disliked the bride and even we all felt awful for her, it was so bad."

"Wedding cost more than my current house, and was held at a yacht club that revoked the family’s membership on a morality clause the following day."- TheNightWitch

Awkward Kristen Wiig GIF by NETFLIXGiphy

Seriously, Who Are These People?!?!?!

"Best man of a wedding I went to was heavily intoxicated and said something along the lines of 'if only she knew what the girl looked like at your bachelor party that you were in bed with on the last night, she would understand how big of a catch she is for your ugly a**'.”

"They didn’t make it to their honeymoon."- Clean_Pin6536

Real Smooth Bruh...

"The bride and groom had been friends for a year and part of the same social circle."

"Group was supposed to go to a concert but due to circumstances, only the bride and groom showed up, got drunk, hooked up and the rest is history."

"One of the groomsmen told the story about how if he hadn't gotten drunk the night before he would have went to the concert and she would be marrying him instead."

"It might have sounded better in his mind, but it came off as selfish and jealous."- Cakelord

Wedding Speech GIF by Taylor SwiftGiphy

Double Trouble...

"My wife has multiple female cousins, and we’ve been going to their weddings for the past few years as they all get hitched."

"My two favorite so far:"

"1: maid of honor/older sister gave a quick blurb about the newlyweds and then talked about herself for 5 minutes."

"I actually predicted she would do this beforehand, and my wife got mad at me for it."

"2: same maid of honor/older sister along with brides twin sister putting on a two women skit about how bride is actually a secret agent (code names and all) and her mission is to capture the groom."

"10 minutes of solid cringe."- weinerwayne

Feelings Can Only Be Suppressed For So Long...

"At my wedding my lifelong friend, whom with I had a completely platonic and non romantic relationship with, got up and gave a very drunk, very love professing speech to me in front of a large room full of people she had never met."

"She cried and said that the day was such a sad day because she had to let go of the one she was meant to spend her future with."

"Maybe not the absolute worst thing anyone has ever said in a wedding speech, but definitely the worst for mine because it kinda changed the vibe for a little bit xD everything was good to go by the time the wife and I got to our honeymoon that night though."

"lmao."- ItsEntsy

How Did He Know This, One Wonders?

"Father of the bride made negative comments about couples having sex before marriage and said "we used to call him our SIN in law'."- kerill333

Steve Martin Father Of The Bride 2 GIFGiphy

What The Actual...

"I was the best man, I was giving a toast after the father of the bride, who recounted in his toast that she was born on a Middle Eastern US military base while he was serving and how he could have sold her to some sheikh."

"That was a hell of an act to follow."- LeadingFiji

Not All Risks Pay Off...

"My friend went to an out-of-town wedding where he basically only knew the groom and the girl he brought as a date."

"He for some reason felt compelled to do an interpretative dance instead of a speech."

"No one laughed and it was dead silent confusion."- DJustice23

Kermit Dancing GIFGiphy

No one will deny that giving a toast at a wedding or anywhere can be a daunting prospect.

With this in mind, it's always a better idea to prioritize love and happiness rather than make people laugh.

As jokes that fall flat at a wedding, tend to hit the floor with a resounding thud that everyone in attendance will remember for the rest of their lives.

Especially the newly wedded couple.

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