The workplace is a battlefield.
It doesn't matter if it's an office or a restaurant.
All the characters are at play constantly.
And firings are the HEIGHT of drama and entertainment!
I've seen co-workers try to burn down the building as they leave.
I've seen tables overturned and tears shed.
Oh, a dramatic co-worker firing can be legendary.
It's especially delicious when people are guilty of their nonsense but they REFUSE to give in.
Magic happens.
Redditor SquidwardSmellz wanted to hear about the most awful ways to lose a job, so they asked:
"What’s the worst thing a coworker got fired for where you work?"
Sorry Buddy
"Buddy working loss prevention discovered a theft ring at work involving numerous employees and suppliers."
"Chief of Operations' son and his best friend turned out to be in that ring. Buddy was fired."
- GloveBatBall
Schitts Creek Pain GIF by CBCGiphy
Not Funny
"A guy who the entire office considered to be, well, 3 cans short of a 12 pack got to have a meeting with our regional director and his manager about both poor performance and a co-worker saying he threatened him. He was apparently asked to leave said co-worker alone and to come to a follow-up meeting the following Monday with a personal plan to improve his results."
"He showed up to work Monday in a great mood, dressed nice, chatting with us all… he went to the meeting with his plan, and his plan (written down) was to simply threaten to shoot our regional director if he was asked about poor performance again. He apparently claimed it was a joke."
"Police escorted him out and HR cleaned out his desk within 10 minutes. Very surreal for a Monday morning LOL. No, he never showed up again and I haven’t heard about him since."
- Sea-Vast-8826
Love Nest
"Someone got fired for having an affair with a coworker. The worst part was how his wife found out. She worked in IT security and his termination showed up in her inbox to process."
- Disastrous_Rub_6062
"Back in the dotcom days it was virtually impossible to rent an apartment in the Bay Area if you were fresh out of college. So, the CTO of the company I worked for let me rent out the second bedroom in his 'Love Nest' apartment where he would bring his mistresses. Fun times, especially when his wife found out about it."
- DonkeyTron42
Seriously Bro?
"Looking at porn at work on his work computer. OK, so watching porn isn't a big deal. Except this guy did it while on his laptop in the common cube office area. A female worker saw it and reported him to HR. HR got in touch with me and we worked out a plan. Since he was really a technician anyway, we would move his work area out to the common shop work area, where there is a lot of foot traffic."
"So his second offense was watching porn. In the common shop work area. On his work computer."
- muffinhead2580
How high are you?
"I was 3 years out of law school at the time, working away, a new attorney fresh out of law school was hired. VERY brash personality, also SUPER high energy, like I right away thought the dude was on some kind of drugs."
"About 2 months into his employment, our boss is using the restroom early in the morning, and looks over on the floor and sees the new employee lying unconscious in the floor of a bathroom stall."
"He rushes to his aid and calls 911, thinking this guy has had a heart attack or similar medical crisis. They get him back to semi-consciousness before the EMTs arrive, and instead it is very obvious he is super f**ked up on drugs, the ambulance takes him away."
"He is told if he wants to continue employment, he will have to take a drug test, he declines and is let go."
"As best as I could tell (I checked on him occasionally through people in the industry, etc) that was the end of his legal career. Which mind you--he had just spent 3 years of his life in law school, almost certainly going $120,000+ into debt for his JD, and was all over for him within a few months."
- Alexios_Makaris
Too Late
"I got fired for getting frustrated with my direct supervisor for constantly trying to make me stay as late as possible (I was the only woman in the department and he actively tried to make me stay after everyone else left). I told HR I don't feel safe staying hours late alone with a man who seemed very bent on getting me alone, got fired within a week with no explanation."
- MusicHearted
Excuse Me What GIF by BounceGiphy
Dialated
"I run my family's cabinet shop. I usually show up 30 minutes early to get everything turned on. We had one employee who was an amazing craftsman. His work was art. He worked with us for 10 years. One morning, I came into the shop to find him working really fast. I say good morning to him and I see his eyes are bloodshot and dilated and he just starts talking to me at a million miles an hour."
"I look to his right and I notice drugs. He sees I notice it and runs over to it and throws it in his backpack. We sat him down and gave him two options. You either get help, and we will cover it for you, or we will have to let you. He chose to get fired. He luckily got clean a few years later, and he now owns his own carpentry business."
- PNW35
In Cuffs
"A bit tame compared to some others here."
"When I worked retail nearly 30 years ago, this girl that worked at the customer service/returns counter was fired (and arrested) for embezzling. She had been there for a few years prior and I guess she eventually figured out how to work the system in her favor. Whenever someone would come in to get a refund on a purchase, she was able to key it so that the customer would get their money back, and she would also pocket the same amount."
"I don't know the specifics of how she did it, but she did. She was being investigated for a few months before the arrest was made... she stole about $30K from the store. They hauled her out in cuffs right in the middle of the workday. She didn't seem like the stereotypical person that would fit such a crime either."
- fshannon3
So Lame
"Theft. This is one of those 'You Can’t Make This S**t Up' stories. The short story is this, it was a big box store. A department head would take items to the receiving area, go to the UPS book, label the stuff, and ship it to his girlfriend’s house. So not only was he stealing product, but the company was paying for shipping as well."
- AngryOldGenXer
POOPED!
"Heard this from a friend who is in HR administration for a local university. She told me an employee hated her boss so much she took a s**t on their desk. I think she was a union employee. She was reprimanded but not fired. A month later she did it again. This time terminated. So apparently you get one free s**t on the boss's desk 🤷♂️."
- Other_Blackberry2239
Chopped
"Our entire night crew at Price Chopper, including the supervisor/manager, got fired because the police caught them smoking weed in front of the store in the parking lot."
"This is even funnier as we had a smoking room and a back of the store."
- Waylander0719
The HAG
"For being pretty and popular. She was hired as a receptionist and did a great job. The customers loved her. We loved her. The bitter hag in charge of HR? Did not love her. I'll never forget the day she came back to clear out her desk. She walked in with her two MinPins on bedazzled leashes, got her stuff and on her way out she leaned into the HR lady's office and said, 'I'll be praying for you, you miserable b**ch". The entire front office silently clapped... lol."
Wasted
"Getting so white-girl-wasted while working in a foreign country that the local consulate needed to get involved so she could get out of the country without being arrested. Company paid several bribes and a hefty cleaning bill to make the issue go away. Fired her before she came into the office the next day."
- costabius
WTF
"Probably when I was younger and working in a pizzeria. We hired a girl that literally got caught selling drugs in front of the owner's wife (that also worked there) during her shift. I was also present during the interaction. Owner's wife and I looked at each other like 'wtf.' She was rightfully canned, but the owner let her off easy, saying he wouldn't report it to police. Not sure of the legality of it all but the pizzeria went under a few years later."
- impossible
Abuse
"Not going to work, faking an injury and abusing the paid leave system. That was our HR manager. She hired an 'Administration Assistant' to do all her office work for her as well."
- InsightJ15
Will Smith Smh GIF by The Academy AwardsGiphy
Foolishness
"Married dude carried on an affair with a married woman who was under him (in more ways than one, I guess). Promoted her ahead of others. Bosses found out and told them to stop fooling around. They said OK. They did not stop. Both got fired."
"Considering they also both had small children, it was really sad."
- biff444444
I've seen some things in my day, but wow.
It's tragic how we humans can set ourselves up for failure so brazenly.
What crazy firings have you witnessed?