The mind is such a brilliant yet fragile instrument.
There is so much to learn about how it works and some information we'll never fully know.
The struggle with dealing with our thoughts can be neverending.
It can be especially difficult for people with other issues to deal with.
People who survive with certain disorders already have a rough time.
And keeping one's darkest thoughts silent can be a nightmare unto itself.
Redditor Sinaasappelsien was hoping certain people would share some of their most difficult inner thoughts, so they asked:
"Those with ADHD or OCD, what’s the worst intrusive thought you’ve ever had?"
I don't have either symptom, but I can empathize.
Intrusive thoughts haunt us all and it's a lot to take in.
Consent
Jim Carrey Reaction GIF by LaffGiphy"Maybe you're in a 'Truman Show' type situation, what would you want your audience to hear?"
"The answer now is mostly 'I do not consent to be in a 'Truman Show type situation.' I'm 99.9% sure that's not what's happening, BUT I do still say it out loud every once in a while, just in case."
a**hat123
Painful Details
"I tend to imagine injuries in excruciating detail. One time when I was in college, working in the kitchen, I remember walking past an industrial-sized mixer with a dough hook as big as my arm, and I was immediately hit with the image of my leg getting caught in it, and the force of the motor snapping my knee and leg bones and winding my flesh around the shaft until it shredded and tore free - like when you're trying to break the hip joint to get a leg off of a roast chicken."
iglidante
Sick to my stomach...
"I've had some absolutely abhorrent and terrifying intrusive thoughts that torture me all the time. My therapist told me that intrusive thoughts are your brain trying to purge the things you find absolutely disgusting and awful and I try to remember that but it still makes me sick to my stomach. I cope the best I can but torture really is the best descriptor for experiencing consistent intrusive thoughts."
bathmaster_
Unfazed
"I have Excoriation disorder, which is a type of OCD, and what it means is that if I see any kind of spot on my skin, I pick at it until it’s gone. And what I mean when I say 'pick' is that I will find whatever sharp object there is (my preferred object is thumbtacks) and I will dig until I’m satisfied that it’s gone. It could be 5 minutes, it could be 5 hours."
"Pain doesn’t faze me. Blood doesn’t faze me. I have dug down to the bone before with a thumbtack because I thought there was a lump in my pinky finger. I also have a severe anxiety disorder, which means that if I can’t get 'out' whatever I believe is in my skin, I have a panic attack. It isn’t to self-harm- I don’t do it to hurt myself."
"I just do it because I can’t relax until I get out whatever I think is on/in my skin. I haven’t had a severe picking episode in about 9 months, thanks to really good meds and mental health care. But yeah- without that, the intrusive thought that 'something is in there and I HAVE to get it out' would destroy me."
MPD1987
Again and Again
Britney Spears Reaction GIFGiphy"Along with intrusive thoughts is the intrusive music. All the time never stops. Just broken snippets, 'Oops I did it again, oops I did it again, oops I did it again' over and over til I think I’m going mad!!!"
Jeansiesicle
Random music in the brain.
I've been kept up nights over the music.
And there is no volume dial.
WTF?!
Dying Classic Film GIF by Warner ArchiveGiphy"I get one regularly that’s a vivid image of me digging out the artery in my wrist with a fish hook and then snapping it like a rubber band."
canijustbelancelot
Bed Check
"If my bedroom isn't clean or tidy when I lay down to sleep, I picture bugs, rodents, etc climbing over me in bed. Not far off because my last condo building had such a bad mouse infestation. Ugh. I'm itchy just thinking about it now."
crankyoldhag45
"I have to check my room every night for spiders, the same routine every night no matter how tired I am. I hate it. I'm convinced if I don't check, it'll be the one night a big one crawls on me, and that did happen once, so the compulsion to check is now very much set in stone. :( "
sakura_gasaii
Reminders
"I love getting constant reminders about my absolute worst memories, ranging from 'WTF was I thinking' to redeem now for a free panic attack. I considered typing one out but stared at that last full stop for a minute before snapping out of it and reconsidering lol. I’ve gotten very good at forgetting things. It’s for the best."
Arterra
Bad Attacks
"I've been getting bad claustrophobia attacks on the train lately. The moment it gets too crowded I start thinking about the trains to Auschwitz and how the people were trapped in there for days at a time, squeezed in like sardines, with no bathroom breaks, no room to stretch, freezing or sweltering, starving or panicking or dying... Sorry. You asked."
Wazula23
Rituals
I Hope Please GIFGiphy"I have to pray before bed or my father won't wake up the next morning."
No_Scale7584
"OCD rituals hit hard. I hope it doesn’t cause you too much distress, but I understand how exhausting it can be."
StillExpectations
Our thoughts can really be our enemy.
If you suffer some intrusive thoughts, there are plenty of medical resources out there for you. .