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People Describe The Worst 'Food Crimes' They've Seen Someone Commit

assorted produce at the market
Jacopo Maiarelli on Unsplash

Reddit user MousseNecessary3258 asked: "What’s the worst food crime you have seen anyone commit?"

The phrase "food crime" is an actual thing in legal and regulatory vernacular.

In that context, food crime refers to serious fraud and related criminality within the food supply chain—often involving dishonesty in ingredient substitution or quality—and potentially harmful practices.


But in common slang, food crime refers to:

"Humorous or exaggerated acts of food preparation or consumption that are considered to be 'wrong' or 'bad' by some, often involving unconventional combinations or methods."

Pineapple on pizza—which I happen to love—is an example of something people might consider a food crime.

Reddit user MousseNecessary3258 asked:

"What’s the worst food crime you have seen anyone commit?"

Sweet & Meaty

"I went to secondary school with a girl who ate ham and chocolate spread sandwiches."

~ ChickenInDaRoom

Lunch GIF by joeroccoGiphy

Something Fishy

"Many years ago when I worked at Panera, we sold a cinnamon swirl raisin bread around Christmas time. We usually just sold it as a whole loaf."

"Had a woman come in and order a tuna salad sandwich, extra mayo, extra cheese, toasted, on this bread. I confirmed it back to her a few times because I was convinced I was mishearing her."

"She ate the whole thing."

~ whitenoize21

Layers

"Another one I have is one of my best friends growing up would eat a Big Mac layer by layer."

"Like he would take the bun off, eat that, then the top patty with the toppings, then the bun below that, etc..."

~ goldblob3

"If I had to choose between this guy or Dexter as a roommate, I'd have to sit down and think about it."

~ Bedbouncer

GIF by DexterGiphy

Spice Trade

"My in-laws are English and put mushrooms and peas in chili."

"I have to pretend it's delicious. Every year."

"They invade the world for spices and somehow still cook like sh*t."

~ Real_Flamingo_8247

"The Tangy Zip..."

"Open faced peanut butter and Miracle Whip sandwiches."

"The smell... ugh."

~ KillerKittenInPJs

"Miracle Whip itself is gag-worthy."

~ cat_prophecy

miracle whip sandwich GIF by Lady GagaGiphy

So Cheesy

"My twin sister used to eat peanut butter sandwiches with at least 1 Kraft single in the middle. Did this for at least 5 years."

~ gnomajean

"Gotta admit, I have eaten a few peanut butter and cheese sandwiches."

"I don't really think it's that odd. Peanut butter and cheese sandwich crackers are available at any grocery store."

~ PrincessSarahHippo

Deconstructed Pizza

"Sat next to a couple at a bar that serves slices of pizza."

"The lady asked the bartender for a fork and the man she was with groaned and was visibly embarrassed."

"She then proceeded to scrape all of the toppings off of the pizza, eat them with the fork, and then eat the somewhat saucy bread after."

~ goldblob3

Heavy (Ranch) Handed

"My husband eats his steak with ranch."

~ Glad-Fish5863

"Disgusting."

"Knew a kid that would slather his pizza in ranch. like it was more ranch than pizza at that point."

~ DatTF2+

ranch dressing GIF by Nate MakuchGiphy

Hoofing It

"My mom, since she was a kid, would eat pickled pigs' feet with chocolate milk."

"She's from Iowa."

~ heartbrokenmess1

A Bit Dry

"I once watched my father put a pork roast into a crockpot all by itself, set it to high, and declare that dinner would be ready in about 4 hours."

"I was just up for a visit, so I kicked him out of his kitchen and scrounged around for whatever expired spices and other ingredients I could scrape together and turned the temp down."

"It wasn't great, but at least it was more than just a pork roast + high heat for 4 hours."

~ CainsCurse

"I'll never understand how middle-aged dads can do stuff like this."

"It's one thing if you're a college student an home-cooked food is all you can afford, it's another if you're a young bachelor with delusions of culinary adequacy, but if you're like 45 you have had waaaay too much time to not have figured out you don't know how to cook and should just order takeout or something when you have guests over."

~ coolguy420weed

Kitchen Cooking GIF by DrSquatchGiphy

Fat With A Side Of Fat

"Watched my brother-in-law make guacamole with mayonnaise."

"I never recovered."

~ irotwholuna22

Like Prison Loaf

"Saw someone make a Shepherd's pie by throwing all the ingredients into a pot, without browning the meat, boiled it in a big soupy mess."

"Then added a full box of instant mashed potato and stirred it all together until it became one big congealed block."

~ 221

Mike Myers Prison GIFGiphy

Queso Crime

"I was at a Mexican American diner known mostly for their menudo on weekends (SoCal)."

"I saw an entire family dump a huge pile of shredded cheese in their menudo and couldn’t help but make an audible gasp."

"Thankfully it was a crowded, loud restaurant, but I could not believe my eyes."

~ Dakovine

Survivor Rations

"Whenever my dad goes on a diet, he eats like post-apocalyptic sh*t to keep his calorie intake low."

"I saw him empty out a can of SPAM, cut the giant SPAM chunk in half, and just microwave it for a minute, that was his dinner."

"He also gets that watery canned tuna and mixes it in a bowl of Kraft Mac-n-Cheese."

"Sometimes, he even gets some ground beef, cooks it, and then just eats that, maybe with a little salt, but overall, just sad tasteless rubber."

"Has he never heard of maybe just a salad?"

~ ava_loves_cuddlefish

Monty Python SPAM GIFGiphy

Chill Chili

"There was a Girl Scout event, and one of the parents said they were going to bring homemade chili. It was a 'family recipe'. Being a fan of chili, I was looking forward to it."

"Well... it was interesting in a crazy sort of way. Here, write down this recipe in case you want to make it at home:"

"- Smith Family Chili Recipe -"

"3 Cans Campbell's Tomato Soup"

"1 Pound of ground beef"

"Whatever you do, don't add anything else like salt or pepper or anything."

~ Raptor01

What food crimes make your most wanted list?

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