Breaking up is never easy for the people involved.
While there are exceptions, many long-term relationships end tumultuously with lovers resenting each other, or leaving one with their heart completely shattered.
Because of the typical bitter scenario, people making the unilateral decision to peace out from a failing relationship try in vain to make an already difficult decision less complicated by coming up with some of the worst excuses.
Curious to hear examples of these, Redditor PainterWeary4761 asked:
"What’s the worst excuse someone used to dump you?"
Redditors couldn't believe the things they heard as excuses for leaving.
The X Returns
"My boyfriend is coming back."
– Agitated_Ad_3876
"Had a guy tell me his ex-girlfriend was coming back after the summer (this was during university) and he wanted to get back together with her. It really sucked because we lived in the same apartment building and we worked together."
"Only years later did my naive @ss realize that she was never his “ex” girlfriend. I was just his side piece while she was away for the summer."
– Bay-Area-Tanners
Cost Of Love
“I’m too broke to have a girlfriend right now.”
"He was dating another co-worker the next day."
– lucky-fluke
"Maybe she was rich."
– SlobZombie13
"Lad knows what up."
– StepLeather819
Double Standard
"Granted this was high school: she didn’t want a commitment. I started becoming friendly with another girl in school. This enraged the ex because apparently her telling me she didn’t want a commitment meant SHE didn’t want to commit to me, but expected me to stay single for her."
"I ended up marrying the second girl, we’ve been together over 21 years now."
– HomerJSimpson3
Horror Scope
"Our star signs weren’t compatible. 💀"
– Dunoh2828
"Valid. Your Caprisun moon can’t handle my Asparagus sun mood swings when Mercury is gatorading darling."
– OP
Failing The Test
"I got Dumped because I 'allowed' my boyfriend to go on a trip with his friends out of state. He told me that it was obvious I didn't care about him because if I did, I wouldn't let him go on a trip where he would probably cheat on me."
"Still doesn't make sense to me."
– Impressive_Fall-
"So he broke up with you... Because you trusted him?"
– Gabe_1016
"I also got given that reasoning! Wasn't the main 'I'm leaving you', but it came out as one if the many many excuses later on."
"Apparently being a caring, supportive partner who encourages your other half to go do things with their friends is a bad thing...and being jealous or shellfish/controlling of their time is a good thing...🤯"
– Mountain_Flan7537
Genders And Friendships
"My ex thought I was cheating on her whilst I was in Australia with my friend....who was in England... she said she didn't trust that a man and woman could be friends and therefore didn't trust me."
– thepaintingbear
"I understand that some people may have different preferences for friendships based on gender, but I believe that true friendship knows no boundaries and that we should strive to build connections with people regardless of their gender."
– Hearse_This_Curse
"My best friend is a woman and we’ve been inseparable for 12 years. We’ve never had any romantic feelings for each other, and we’re both totally committed to our friendship."
– Hearse_This_Curse
Religious Reasons
"We were Mormon adults (like 30 years old). He said he had to break up because he was too attracted to me, and it made him want to do things he's not supposed to. So glad I left that church!"
– Least-Quail216
Points for creativity?
Health Concern
"I was more ghosted than explicitly dumped, but his excuse was that he'd discovered he was having an allergic reaction to his laundry detergent and was too busy dealing with the situation to text me back."
– InternationalScar972
The Prophecy
"I got dumped once because of something I 'did' in a person's dream."
"I repeatedly reminded them that I didn't do the thing, but they said that it seemed like something I could do."
"That thing?"
"Eat her lunch at work."
"We didn't work at the same place."
– Green-Elf
"Good god this takes me back. I was with this Latina from West Covina and woke up at 3 am to her straight up punching me in the face for cheating on her in a dream...I was never once unfaithful to this woman and was so f'king confused."
"Edit: she didn't dump me, it was the other way around, but I'll never forget that bullsh*t madness."
– anon
Personality Swap
"I've swapped places with a version of myself from an alternate universe. This version of me doesn't love this version of you."
– EinsteinVonBrainless
"A funny way to handle that would be acting relieved, say it saved you the hassle of breaking up then start venting about the 'dealbreakers'. "
"And believe me, go for the throat in picking apart their flaws."
"See how long it takes them to drop the act."
"Seriously, using THAT as an excuse to break up is just inviting mockery."
– neroselene
Priorities
"Someone told me they were breaking up because their pet goldfish needed more attention."
– ModrakNoren
"Sigh. I’d rather just be ghosted at that point."
– OP
"And goldfish are almost always dying."
"People will usually cram them 3-4 in a 10 gallon tank rather than the 15-20 gallons each that they need. And they're filthy fish so you need to be doing large, frequent, water changes. Usually 2+ times a week."
"Then, even if you do everything right, the fancies are still prone to all manner of health issues because of how inbred and deformed they are."
"They're basically the pugs of the fish-keeping world. Adorable, friendly, dumb as rocks, one step away from dying at all times."
– merrycat
"They said they needed to 'focus on their plants.' "
– LovingRielyn
"Leaf me alone!"
– Absolutedisgrace
Actions speak louder than words.
The Payout
"She invited me to go out with her and some friends. I told her upfront that I was low on money until payday, so if I went, it would just be to hang out—I wouldn’t be able to buy anything. At the diner, she orders a shake, and when the bill comes, she asks if I will pay for it. I reminded her I was completely broke and didn’t have money in the bank."
"Another guy friend steps in and offers to pay for her shake and my gas. Two days later, she dumped me for him. Why? I didn't offer to pay her bill. "
– canna-crux
I didn't offer to pay her bill.
"Back in college I met this girl who had the biggest loser as a bf, dude was almost 40 (she was early 20s), still lived in his mom's basement, never had worked in his life and only made money selling drugs to teenagers, also the dude was a sovereign citizen and didn't believe in the government and modern medicine calling both scams."
"When she got sick with a small ear infection, this dude convinced her not to go to the doctor and use alternative medicine instead, and she almost died as it got worse and worse! I had to literally carry her to emergencies because it had gotten so bad she couldn't even stand."
"When she got better she broke up with the guy and we moved together, and he was not happy at all about it coming to our house and threatening me a couple of times."
"Turns out this wacko had done one thing right, and this was spending all her mom's retirement money on Bitcoin, since he also didnt believe in banks, and just one year after she left him, he became a millionaire all of a sudden. So one day, the guy came to our house while I wasn't there and offered her a first-class ticket for an all-paid tour around the world with him."
"I only learned about this the next day when she called me from a beach in the Dominican Republic to tell me it was over with us."
– marcelowit
The Discovery
"I invaded her privacy."
"By that, I mean I found, in a pad of paper that we used for shopping lists & budgeting, an unfinished note addressed to her ex that admits they had sex a few weeks prior."
– masta_myagi
"I happened upon some questionable discord messages by accident, i.e. by getting on her computer, when ex asked me to do something on said computer, and suddenly I was spying."
– dontdoanymefrightens
While many of these excuses for breaking up were lame, kudos to them for addressing the situation, even if they cared more about caring for their goldfish than you.
Ghosting is far worse.
It's cowardly and very disrespectful toward the person being left in the dark.
We all have our reasons for wanting to leave a relationship that isn't worth salvaging. But, it shouldn't be that difficult for heartbreakers to clue their soon-to-be-ex in on the situation.
@elleuk/Instagram
@elleuk/Instagram
