Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

People Divulge The Craziest Backhanded Compliments They've Ever Received

two girls on black background
Obie Fernandez on Unsplash

Reddit user lameguy13 asked: 'What’s a backhanded compliment you’ve received in real life?'

As a BIPOC autistic woman, my life has been filled with qualified compliments.

"You're really _____, for a _____."
"You're the ____est ____ I know."

And since I've reached 50 and the gray hair is starting to show, there's now the added qualifier of "for your age."


"You're really _____ for your age."

Qualified compliments are a form of backhanded compliment.

How so? If they think I'm smart or entertaining or funny or attractive, they should just say that without adding woman, Indigenous or a reference to my age.

I'm always told some variation of:

"You're the funniest woman I know."
"You're really smart for an Indigenous woman."
"I would never guess you're autistic—you're so normal!"
"You still look decent for your age."

Gee... thanks.

I always feel like responding:

"So how do I compare to normal people? Am I as funny as any of the men you know? Am I dumber than all other races or just some of them? It's called masking—I'm actually quite odd. Would I look horrible for 40?"

Backhanded compliments aren't uncommon. Most of us have experienced them.

Reddit user lameguy13 asked:

"What’s a backhanded compliment you’ve received in real life?"

What People Think

"Someone once told me, 'You're so lucky you don't care what people think about you'."

"I'm still not sure if that was a compliment or a subtle insult."

~ Neekol-USA

I Feel Pretty

"My junior prom date said this to his mom:"

"'I know she's not pretty like the other girls I date, but she's great and I really like her'."

~ champagneformyrealfr

Unless It's Cosmetology School

"'Your makeup doesn't look cakey today!' Thank you....?"

~ Nein______________

Their First Ex-Boyfriend

"My first boyfriend and I were wrestling one time and I pinned him and said, 'I win!' real flirty like."

"He pushed me off of him and said, 'yeah, only because you weigh a ton'."

~ GanethLey_art

Welcome To The Team

"When I applied for a new position within the company and was offered the job, my new boss told me I was the best out of what he had to choose from."

~ Pleasant-Physics-855

Cheers, Mom

"During my wedding reception, my mom made a speech where she congratulated me for finding my husband despite being 'weird and independent'."

"She did this in front of everyone at the wedding."

"People came up to me after asking if I was OK."

~ Not-From-Pakistan

How Charming

"'You’re pretty cool, you know that? Most girls in the Air Force are dogs, or bi*ches, but you’re somewhere in between'."

"I swear he was trying to get into my pants by saying I was nice AND attractive, but those words did not convey the message well."

"I just knew that regardless of what he was trying to say to me, that it was an unkind attitude toward everyone else."

~ mahjimoh

Lights Out

"I once had a girl I like mention something about it being dark."

"I said, 'It's okay, you look good in the dark'."

"I really liked her and was just being awkward, but she understandably got pretty upset."

~ Sudovoodoo80

Pretty For A ___

"My own mom when I went from 97 lbs at age 20 to about 130 lbs—which was way healthier—'your face is still pretty for a fat girl'."

~ InstantElla

Why Do They Think It's Called English?

"'Your grasp on our language is remarkable'."

"From an American to an Englishman without an English name—my name is Scottish."

"I'm not Scottish."

"I was born in England—as my many, many Scot relatives remind of at very regular intervals—but with a Scottish name to piss everyone off."

~ Wittgenstienwasright

Baby Got Back

"'You have a pretty face, too bad your butt is big'."

"My fiancé’s grandmother at their family gathering had no filter."

~ maybeCheri

When In Rome

"'Your nose is so... Roman-esque...'."

"It's massive and you know it."

~ ibiacmbyww

So Flattering

"'You're half Mexican? Honestly, I couldn't tell 'cause you're actually pretty!'."

~ ThatEllieGirl2011

So A Career In Drag?

"In high school this girl I had a crush on kept staring at me in class one day. She finally leaned over and said, 'You'd make a pretty girl'."

"I still don't know how to take that compliment."

"That being said, my wife and I had a daughter ~eight months ago."

"She looks just like me and she's beautiful. I guess she was right."

~ Vlaed

...For A Girl

"Literally ANY f*cking time I was good at ANYTHING as a kid, I was told 'you're so good at ______, for a girl'."

~ Latter_Schedule9510

Hopefully, you haven't been guilty of any of these.

So, what's the worst backhanded compliment you’ve received?

More from Trending

Donald Trump with the Dodgers
Kevin Dietsch/Getty Images

Trump Leaves Everyone Confused With Hilariously Bizarre Word Salad Tribute To The Dodgers

President Donald Trump was widely mocked after he welcomed the 2024 World Series-winning Los Angeles Dodgers to the White House on Monday with a bizarre, tangential, and rambling speech.

The team arrived at the White House on Monday morning, where Trump, in his remarks, praised two-way star Shohei Ohtani and infielder Mookie Betts. The Dodgers had defeated the New York Yankees in five games to clinch their second World Series title in five seasons.

Keep ReadingShow less
Donald Trump
Kevin Dietsch/Getty Images

Trump Roasted After Giving Clunky New Nickname To People Criticizing His Tariffs

President Donald Trump was criticized after he pushed back against critics of his tariffs, coming up with a new nickname for the "weak and stupid" people who oppose them.

The Trump administration’s newly imposed tariffs on imports from various countries have unsettled consumers, triggered a trade war, disrupted global markets, and sparked widespread fears of a potential recession in the U.S. and beyond.

Keep ReadingShow less

Childhood Experiences People Thought Were 'Normal' But Weren't At All

Content Warning: Child neglect, child abuse, narcissism, gaslighting, people-pleasing, and other traumatic childhood experiences

It's important for us to work on ourselves, to continue bettering ourselves throughout our limited time on this earth, and a key way of doing that is acknowledging what we do not know, and working on that.

Keep ReadingShow less
Older couple
Hector Reyes/Reddit

People Share The Best Relationship Advice They've Received

Those who are in healthy relationships are the envy of those who seem to be struggling in their own relationships.

How do they do it?

Keep ReadingShow less
Gayle King being censored
CBS

Gayle King Shocks Viewers After Saying Anti-Gay Slur On Live TV While Quoting Joke

CBS reporter Gayle King stunned viewers when she uttered a homophobic slur while quoting a joke by openly gay comedian Matteo Lane during his interview.

Lane, who is also a singer, actor, and now cookbook author, was on CBS Mornings to promote his new cookbook, Your Pasta Sucks, and to stir up laughter from King and her co-hosts Tony Dokoupil and Nate Burleson.

Keep ReadingShow less