Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

People Divulge The Craziest Backhanded Compliments They've Ever Received

two girls on black background
Obie Fernandez on Unsplash

Reddit user lameguy13 asked: 'What’s a backhanded compliment you’ve received in real life?'

As a BIPOC autistic woman, my life has been filled with qualified compliments.

"You're really _____, for a _____."
"You're the ____est ____ I know."

And since I've reached 50 and the gray hair is starting to show, there's now the added qualifier of "for your age."


"You're really _____ for your age."

Qualified compliments are a form of backhanded compliment.

How so? If they think I'm smart or entertaining or funny or attractive, they should just say that without adding woman, Indigenous or a reference to my age.

I'm always told some variation of:

"You're the funniest woman I know."
"You're really smart for an Indigenous woman."
"I would never guess you're autistic—you're so normal!"
"You still look decent for your age."

Gee... thanks.

I always feel like responding:

"So how do I compare to normal people? Am I as funny as any of the men you know? Am I dumber than all other races or just some of them? It's called masking—I'm actually quite odd. Would I look horrible for 40?"

Backhanded compliments aren't uncommon. Most of us have experienced them.

Reddit user lameguy13 asked:

"What’s a backhanded compliment you’ve received in real life?"

What People Think

"Someone once told me, 'You're so lucky you don't care what people think about you'."

"I'm still not sure if that was a compliment or a subtle insult."

~ Neekol-USA

I Feel Pretty

"My junior prom date said this to his mom:"

"'I know she's not pretty like the other girls I date, but she's great and I really like her'."

~ champagneformyrealfr

Unless It's Cosmetology School

"'Your makeup doesn't look cakey today!' Thank you....?"

~ Nein______________

Their First Ex-Boyfriend

"My first boyfriend and I were wrestling one time and I pinned him and said, 'I win!' real flirty like."

"He pushed me off of him and said, 'yeah, only because you weigh a ton'."

~ GanethLey_art

Welcome To The Team

"When I applied for a new position within the company and was offered the job, my new boss told me I was the best out of what he had to choose from."

~ Pleasant-Physics-855

Cheers, Mom

"During my wedding reception, my mom made a speech where she congratulated me for finding my husband despite being 'weird and independent'."

"She did this in front of everyone at the wedding."

"People came up to me after asking if I was OK."

~ Not-From-Pakistan

How Charming

"'You’re pretty cool, you know that? Most girls in the Air Force are dogs, or bi*ches, but you’re somewhere in between'."

"I swear he was trying to get into my pants by saying I was nice AND attractive, but those words did not convey the message well."

"I just knew that regardless of what he was trying to say to me, that it was an unkind attitude toward everyone else."

~ mahjimoh

Lights Out

"I once had a girl I like mention something about it being dark."

"I said, 'It's okay, you look good in the dark'."

"I really liked her and was just being awkward, but she understandably got pretty upset."

~ Sudovoodoo80

Pretty For A ___

"My own mom when I went from 97 lbs at age 20 to about 130 lbs—which was way healthier—'your face is still pretty for a fat girl'."

~ InstantElla

Why Do They Think It's Called English?

"'Your grasp on our language is remarkable'."

"From an American to an Englishman without an English name—my name is Scottish."

"I'm not Scottish."

"I was born in England—as my many, many Scot relatives remind of at very regular intervals—but with a Scottish name to piss everyone off."

~ Wittgenstienwasright

Baby Got Back

"'You have a pretty face, too bad your butt is big'."

"My fiancé’s grandmother at their family gathering had no filter."

~ maybeCheri

When In Rome

"'Your nose is so... Roman-esque...'."

"It's massive and you know it."

~ ibiacmbyww

So Flattering

"'You're half Mexican? Honestly, I couldn't tell 'cause you're actually pretty!'."

~ ThatEllieGirl2011

So A Career In Drag?

"In high school this girl I had a crush on kept staring at me in class one day. She finally leaned over and said, 'You'd make a pretty girl'."

"I still don't know how to take that compliment."

"That being said, my wife and I had a daughter ~eight months ago."

"She looks just like me and she's beautiful. I guess she was right."

~ Vlaed

...For A Girl

"Literally ANY f*cking time I was good at ANYTHING as a kid, I was told 'you're so good at ______, for a girl'."

~ Latter_Schedule9510

Hopefully, you haven't been guilty of any of these.

So, what's the worst backhanded compliment you’ve received?

More from Trending

Kid Rock
Todd Kirkland/Getty Images

Kid Rock Dragged After Donning A Truly Over-The-Top Outfit For His White House Visit

Singer Kid Rock was slammed for wearing a loud patriotic costume inside the Oval Office as Republican President Donald Trump signed an executive order on Monday against ticket scalping.

The rocker's outfit consisted of a red, white, and blue jacket emblazoned with two eagles facing each other above the American flag with the number 250, a nod to America's upcoming 250th anniversary, and white stars on his sleeves.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshot of Bill Cassidy
CNBC

MAGA Senator Just Said The Quiet Part Out Loud With Epic Freudian Slip About Medicare

Louisiana Republican Senator Bill Cassidy was widely mocked following his inconvenient slip of the tongue during a CNBC interview as he mused about finding ways to "cut" Medicare before quickly correcting himself.

The exchange occurred after host Rebecca Quick pressed Louisiana Republican and former physician Bill Cassidy on how his party intended to fund the “trillion-dollar tax cuts” sought by President Donald Trump.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshot of Tim Sheehy
CNN

GOP Senator Gets Blunt Reality Check After Comparing Trump Tariff 'Pain' To Home Renovation

Montana Republican Senator Tim Sheehy was criticized after he tried to compare the "short-term pain" of President Donald Trump's tariffs to home renovation, a claim so ridiculous that CNN's Kaitlan Collins quickly pushed back on the analogy.

Trump has repeatedly referred to April 2 as “Liberation Day,” pledging to impose tariffs—taxes on imports—to reduce U.S. reliance on foreign goods. He has framed these tariffs as “reciprocal,” aiming to match the duties other nations place on American exports.

Keep ReadingShow less
Susan Crawford; Elon Musk
Scott Olson/Getty Images (left and right)

Liberal Wisconsin Judge Calls Out Elon Musk In Victory Speech—And It's Everything

Liberal judge Susan Crawford called out billionaire Elon Musk in her victory speech after winning a seat on the Wisconsin Supreme Court, basking in successfully beating her Republican opponent Brad Schimel and ensuring that the nonpartisan court’s narrow 4-3 liberal majority remains intact despite Musk's efforts to sway the race.

Musk fueled the high-stakes race, having poured more than $20 million into supporting Schimel, according to state campaign records. That includes $3 million to the state Republican Party—$2 million of which was donated just last week. Due to state election laws, large contributions must be funneled through political parties before reaching candidates.

Keep ReadingShow less

People Describe The Worst 'Bonus' They've Ever Gotten At Work

Most of us have worked at one problematic workplace, with reasons ranging from toxic coworkers to terrible bosses to unlivable pay. Sometimes, it feels like a joke that the employees are even being paid at all!

But the biggest joke of all might be the end-of-year bonus, or lack thereof. They're at times so laughable, they take the cake for horrible work conditions, or are quite literally, a slice of cake.

Keep ReadingShow less