Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

People Divulge The Craziest Backhanded Compliments They've Ever Received

two girls on black background
Obie Fernandez on Unsplash

Reddit user lameguy13 asked: 'What’s a backhanded compliment you’ve received in real life?'

As a BIPOC autistic woman, my life has been filled with qualified compliments.

"You're really _____, for a _____."
"You're the ____est ____ I know."

And since I've reached 50 and the gray hair is starting to show, there's now the added qualifier of "for your age."


"You're really _____ for your age."

Qualified compliments are a form of backhanded compliment.

How so? If they think I'm smart or entertaining or funny or attractive, they should just say that without adding woman, Indigenous or a reference to my age.

I'm always told some variation of:

"You're the funniest woman I know."
"You're really smart for an Indigenous woman."
"I would never guess you're autistic—you're so normal!"
"You still look decent for your age."

Gee... thanks.

I always feel like responding:

"So how do I compare to normal people? Am I as funny as any of the men you know? Am I dumber than all other races or just some of them? It's called masking—I'm actually quite odd. Would I look horrible for 40?"

Backhanded compliments aren't uncommon. Most of us have experienced them.

Reddit user lameguy13 asked:

"What’s a backhanded compliment you’ve received in real life?"

What People Think

"Someone once told me, 'You're so lucky you don't care what people think about you'."

"I'm still not sure if that was a compliment or a subtle insult."

~ Neekol-USA

I Feel Pretty

"My junior prom date said this to his mom:"

"'I know she's not pretty like the other girls I date, but she's great and I really like her'."

~ champagneformyrealfr

Unless It's Cosmetology School

"'Your makeup doesn't look cakey today!' Thank you....?"

~ Nein______________

Their First Ex-Boyfriend

"My first boyfriend and I were wrestling one time and I pinned him and said, 'I win!' real flirty like."

"He pushed me off of him and said, 'yeah, only because you weigh a ton'."

~ GanethLey_art

Welcome To The Team

"When I applied for a new position within the company and was offered the job, my new boss told me I was the best out of what he had to choose from."

~ Pleasant-Physics-855

Cheers, Mom

"During my wedding reception, my mom made a speech where she congratulated me for finding my husband despite being 'weird and independent'."

"She did this in front of everyone at the wedding."

"People came up to me after asking if I was OK."

~ Not-From-Pakistan

How Charming

"'You’re pretty cool, you know that? Most girls in the Air Force are dogs, or bi*ches, but you’re somewhere in between'."

"I swear he was trying to get into my pants by saying I was nice AND attractive, but those words did not convey the message well."

"I just knew that regardless of what he was trying to say to me, that it was an unkind attitude toward everyone else."

~ mahjimoh

Lights Out

"I once had a girl I like mention something about it being dark."

"I said, 'It's okay, you look good in the dark'."

"I really liked her and was just being awkward, but she understandably got pretty upset."

~ Sudovoodoo80

Pretty For A ___

"My own mom when I went from 97 lbs at age 20 to about 130 lbs—which was way healthier—'your face is still pretty for a fat girl'."

~ InstantElla

Why Do They Think It's Called English?

"'Your grasp on our language is remarkable'."

"From an American to an Englishman without an English name—my name is Scottish."

"I'm not Scottish."

"I was born in England—as my many, many Scot relatives remind of at very regular intervals—but with a Scottish name to piss everyone off."

~ Wittgenstienwasright

Baby Got Back

"'You have a pretty face, too bad your butt is big'."

"My fiancé’s grandmother at their family gathering had no filter."

~ maybeCheri

When In Rome

"'Your nose is so... Roman-esque...'."

"It's massive and you know it."

~ ibiacmbyww

So Flattering

"'You're half Mexican? Honestly, I couldn't tell 'cause you're actually pretty!'."

~ ThatEllieGirl2011

So A Career In Drag?

"In high school this girl I had a crush on kept staring at me in class one day. She finally leaned over and said, 'You'd make a pretty girl'."

"I still don't know how to take that compliment."

"That being said, my wife and I had a daughter ~eight months ago."

"She looks just like me and she's beautiful. I guess she was right."

~ Vlaed

...For A Girl

"Literally ANY f*cking time I was good at ANYTHING as a kid, I was told 'you're so good at ______, for a girl'."

~ Latter_Schedule9510

Hopefully, you haven't been guilty of any of these.

So, what's the worst backhanded compliment you’ve received?

More from Trending

Barack Obama
Scott Olson/Getty Images

Obama Offers Iconic Reaction After He Accidentally Photobombed A Family's Photos In DC

If you try to take nice pictures in a scenic location, there will likely be people wandering through the background of your photos, because everyone else will also be enjoying the scenery.

In most cases, people try to time the shots between passersby or edit them out afterwards, but after a photoshoot in Washington D.C., one family will definitely not be editing out the accidental guest walking among the cherry blossoms and the Washington Monument.

Keep ReadingShow less
children sitting on floor in classroom
CDC on Unsplash

Historical 'Facts' People Learned In School That Are Actually Not True

The phrase "history is written by the victors" is a common saying. It's often attributed to Winston Churchill, although there's no proof he said those exact words.

It points out that those who win conflicts shape how those events are remembered, recorded, and taught to future generations, leading to biased historical accounts and warped perceptions.

Keep ReadingShow less

Modern 'Conveniences' That Actually Make Life Harder

Making life simpler...

That is always the goal, right?

Keep ReadingShow less
Person holding cigarette
Luiz Rogério Nunes/Unsplash

One Night Stands That Turned Into A Total Nightmare

Ahh, the trials and tribulations of dating life.

On the one hand, it could be exciting and very promising. On the other hand, it could be a total disaster.

Keep ReadingShow less
Person's eyes glowing in the sunlight
Photo by Marina Vitale on Unsplash

People Who Clinically Died And Came Back To Life Share Their Experiences

We've all heard the questions about what happens when we die, whether there is life after death, and whether we really will walk through a tunnel of white light or not to get there.

But people who have had a near-death experience, in that they were declared clinically dead and were then resuscitated, might have the answers we're looking for, and their answers are quite peaceful.

Keep ReadingShow less