Dating can be hard, but ultimately, we all know some things we want and what would make us feel happy and fulfilled in a relationship.
Fortunately, just like the red flags we might see in a relationship, there are green flags that can point us in the right direction, too.
Redditor poopfaceroleplay asked:
"Men of Reddit, what’s the biggest green flag in a woman?"
Strong Communication Skills
"Fighting and/or approaching conflict in a healthy manner."
"During one of my early fights with my girlfriend (now wife of 15 years), I was surprised that even though she was still mad, she clearly said, 'I'm upset when you did X, because of (something in her past). I know that past event is not your fault, but I'm still feeling some kind of way, we should talk later after I've processed a bit.'"
"It was wayyyyy different than my past relationship. No silent treatment, no hiding emotions and exploding later, firm about feelings while taking accountability, honest apologies... it's great. We still have conflicts, and even yell from time to time, but they are productive in the end."
- broman55
Uniting Against the Problem
"An us vs the problem mentality."
"Instead of blaming you or herself for issues that inevitably will arise, she communicates with you in a way that focuses on what the issue is and how you can work together to solve it."
- KanadaKanashi
High Emotional Intelligence
"Emotional intelligence, which will apply to men, as well. Anyone who takes the time to wonder WHY they feel a certain way instead of acting on it out of instinct is a gift."
"I’ve never been in a relationship before like this in my life, we can talk anything out peacefully, no arguments in years, no insults or hurt feelings, emotional intelligence is the key."
- MolagMoProblems
Random Acts of Kindness Often
"Straight-up kindness."
"I met my wife 11 years ago and fell in love pretty quickly. She is the kindest person I have ever met. Doesn't matter the situation, she approaches all of them with a serenity that I have never been able to match."
"Every dog gets love, every baby gets ogled at. You need some help? She is there with work boots on. Homeless? She keeps snacks and cash on hand to give out."
"And if I'm having a bad day? She will go above and beyond to make sure I know that I am loved."
- Infinite-Ambassador5
A Genuine Interest
"She asks questions about you to genuinely understand who you are as a person, not just what you do for work and other surface-level topics."
- Cammy7s
Emotional Openness
"When I cried in front of her (my cat died) and she just hugged me and comforted me."
"Exes before would ridicule me."
- SongBirdofHyalia
Being Thoughtful
"Thoughtfulness."
"Thoughtfulness goes hand in hand with a lot of traits. My girlfriend is the most thoughtful partner I’ve ever had."
"I missed out on a job at my dream company and she made me a 'feeling blue' package full of blue snacks I like with a sweet card. I’ll have a bad day, and she’ll surprise me with a dessert or a drink I like or something like that."
"She threw me my first surprise birthday party at an escape room with my friends because she knows I love them."
"When a partner takes time to genuinely think about you and the things you like/dislike and thinks about things from your perspective, it’s about the greenest flag I can think of."
- shockwave_supernova
Matching Sense of Humor
"If our sense of humor isn’t compatible, then there is no hope for the relationship. One of my favorite things about my wife is when I am able to make her laugh at jokes that she doesn’t want to find funny, yet she can’t help but laugh at anyway."
- _Smegma_on_demand
Personal Accountability
"Being capable of admitting when you're wrong."
- TheDraco4011
"My partner admits I'm wrong all the time."
- Epicurus1
"Well, she’s right, you know."
- Areaguy
Sharing in Each Other's Interests
"She is willing to try new things with you that are related to what you enjoy."
"Also, guys, this goes both ways. If your woman is interested in something, try it out with her."
- americansherlock201
Knowing Personal Flaws
"An ability to acknowledge her flaws and shortcomings. Someone who can not see them or projects them on others is an absolute relationship killer."
- Background-Heat740
Respected Third Spaces
"Just want to add on to the typical green flags here; she respects your hobbies and interests. She does not have to be into them herself, but knows they are important to you."
"I'm in my late 40s and my wife is cool with my weekly DND sessions with the homies and late-night gaming sessions."
"Unfortunately not all are in the same boat."
- crazyrich
Simple Pleasures
"When she also loves to sit out and watch for shooting stars."
- rock-island321
Respect for Service Workers
"My wife, among other zillion virtues, has this consideration for others and cleaning discipline."
"So we would go to hotels and she would make the bed, remove trash, etc., to the point that half the hotels and Airbnbs ask me if we even used the room."
"It’s something that we don’t even talk about but make my eyes sparkle. She knows they will have to change blankets and everything but thinks that an almost pristine room is a good image for the cleaning person to start with."
- cangarejos
A Well-Rounded, Supportive Partner
"Wow, they are very supportive, they give you your space, they are focused on building with you, they don't see the relationship as you vs them but team vs problem."
- RaidHelios
It's easy to see why these are qualities that someone would aspire to in a relationship.
At least when these qualities turn up, it's pretty likely that they've found themselves in a good relationship.
