Some police officers have been getting the side-eye from the Internet recently as claims of tampering regarding their food and drinks have repeatedly turned out to be false.
We had "Molly McMuffin," "The Shake Shack Sheriffs," "Officer Arby's," "The McChicken Chief," and now this officer and his "tamppuccino." Twitter really should get paid for coming up with some of these nicknames.
In this most recent incident, a plain-clothed police officer went to a Starbucks location inside of a Target store. The officer said he ordered a frappuccino and paid using his police union credit card, got his drink, and then left.
If all of your Starbucks locations are independent, you may not have an understanding about how the Starbucks locations inside of Target are set up. Typically, one or two employees work behind a low counter. Drinks are made there, where the customer can see everything.
Usually there is nowhere an employee can go and be out of the line of customer sight while also making the drinks. This will be important later.
This setup is pretty standard, though some get fancier lighting and more space with a larger selection.
Jeff Gritchen/Digital First Media/Orange County Register via Getty Images
The officer claims he went about his business sipping his drink. About halfway through he noticed something strange and fished out what he decided was "a used tampon." The officer then says he angrily went inside and confronted the staff, then filed a police report.
LAPD came out, questioned people, pulled surveillance video, etc. The LA Police Protective League issued a statement admonishing the "assault" well before any investigation was actually done.
"This disgusting assault on a police officer was carried out by someone with hatred in their heart and who lacks human decency. We hope they are publicly exposed, fired, arrested, and prosecuted for their cowardly and repugnant actions."
Meanwhile, FOX reporter Bill Melugin ran the story, and image, on Twitter.
People found the entire incident suspicious. The timing didn't make sense. The lack of opportunity to fiddle with his drink didn't make sense. The fact that the officer was plain-clothed and the only thing to identify them as police was the card they used -- a card which employees typically can't see -- makes it seem pretty much impossible that the employees would have known he was an officer in the first place, and would thus have had no reason for the "assault."
People were quick to question the officer's version of events.
How would they even....it's a STARBUCKS. They walk like four feet from the counter to make your drink. Where would the tampon have COME FROM? Are we supposed to believe they have a drawer full of them, just in case?
— David (@CrookedKnight) June 23, 2020
I've worked retail.....done thousands of transactions...and never ever eeeeevvvvveeerrrr did I look at someone's debit/credit card because they swipe it themselves all the time. And if he wasn't in uniform how would anyone know he was a cop???
— Jordan Smith (@thatwonkid91) June 23, 2020
So someone would have to just have a used tampon in their apron pocket next to the markers and whatnot and then dropped it into a drink in front of 10 other employees, who are all Starbucks sycophants because that's who works there
— c a i t l i n (@hello__caitlin) June 23, 2020
bill given that literally every time these things turn out to be a hoax by the cops, did you consider maybe waiting to report on this until you got some corroboration?
— mark (@kept_simple) June 23, 2020
the frappuccino blender only goes for 11 seconds i promise we do not have time to whip out a whole ass tampon and put it in your frappuccino in ELEVEN SECONDS https://t.co/UKdFHip8Ge
— lily (@lilystgermain) June 23, 2020
Several people questioned whether the reporter should have actually run with this story based on the total lack of evidence and the number of times this sort of thing has been proven to be totally made up. There was, however, the other glaringly obvious issue that people with a vagina were quite happy to point out.
That is absolutely not a tampon.
I did not think I would live to see the day when someone stuck a tampon in a frappucino to prove the police are talking BS again. What a time to be alive.
— Leah Borromeo (@monstris) June 23, 2020
for a while this morning i kept thinking to myself, "did a reporter put in this much work and not even realise this isn't a tampon?" but then i remembered that when Sally Ride went into space for a week, even the dudes at NASA were all "IS 100 TAMPONS ENOUGH FOR A WEEK?" https://t.co/jWNqefdJAg
— Elizabeth May (@_ElizabethMay) June 23, 2020
Honestly, are there absolutely no women working at LAPD? No one who's actually seen a tampon would think that this weird mass of fiber is tampon.
— Tuesday's Child (@SaucySweet) June 23, 2020
Where's the string? Why's it so long? Have these boys ever *seen* a tampon?
— Angry.Sad.Motivated. (@nlmtys) June 23, 2020
that looks like a white dude's dreadlock, not a blood soaked tampon. are you kidding me right now lol https://t.co/iR44ICFTek
— Imani Gandy ☄️🌏🔥 (@AngryBlackLady) June 23, 2020
I can't believe I'm ruining coffee and a tampon to aknowledge officer oinksy's dumbass claim of tampon in his coffee, but here you fucking go: tampons bloom when wet. That's how they prevent leaking. pic.twitter.com/nyXCJAolO6
— Sorchos Flynn (@Lobotomy_Barbie) June 23, 2020
Not kidding, when I first saw the tampon that police officer had in his Frappuccino, I thought it was a really dirty Alpaca chewing on a green pipe... pic.twitter.com/gV78Tfh8Xa
— HeyIt'sVadim (@vadimnewquist) June 23, 2020
BREAKING: off duty LAPD officer admits he has no idea what tampons look like or how they work. https://t.co/oKbtN3dyyL
— Jenn (@JennNelsonBass) June 24, 2020
and yet @BillFOXLA wrote a whole ass story about a tampon that is not a tampon. copaganda is a powerful force
— Talia Lavin (@chick_in_kiev) June 23, 2020
neither bill fox la nor the LAPD union knows what a tampon is and yet they have both issued Firm Statements
— Talia Lavin (@chick_in_kiev) June 23, 2020
This is another hoax made by a man that has no idea what a saturated tampon looks like. Do you know how fast baristas have to work to complete orders, ESPECIALLY at Target locations? Like 45-60 seconds while people are watching. I'm looking forward to how this turns out lmao https://t.co/FoDXaDlXYd
— a bitch who didn't ask you (@BtSquared2) June 23, 2020
We're going to find out this is gauze from a first response kit he had in his trunk and nothing will come of it.
— Salacious Numb (@deathsuxdontdie) June 23, 2020
So we've got people telling the media this was definitely not going to end well. We've got women rolling their eyes and laughing about how obviously not-a-tampon the "thing" is. We've got a public who is suspicious from the get-go considering the incidents mentioned earlier.
Still, the FOX reporter (and a shocking number of other outlets) ran with the story ... until it slammed right into the conclusion everyone saw coming.
UPDATE: Statement from Target:
“We take this allegation seriously. We have reviewed video footage and have not found any suspicious behavior. We have shared the video with the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department and look forward to the conclusions of their investigation."
— Bill Melugin (@BillFOXLA) June 23, 2020
Twitter is not afraid to hit you with a "told you so."
Also, are you gonna follow up on what consequences whomever invented the story is going to face?
— Alex Hazanov (@alexhazanov) June 23, 2020
I feel like you could have saved yourself a lot of time if you had showed that picture to literally any woman
— jon benét rammstein (@dubsteppenwolf) June 23, 2020
Welp the officer better be exposed, fired, arrested, and prosecuted for their cowardly and repugnant actions. https://t.co/IfxXE1vl22
— 🇺🇸❄️ ~ Roni ~ 🇺🇸❄️ #BidenHarris2020🤞🏻 (@paleblueeyes24) June 23, 2020
Or just walk down to the nearest Starbucks and order a Frappuccino. Stand there and watch them make the thing and then tell me when the barista has a window to add *anything* to the drink without being noticed, let alone something as big as the cop's "tampon".
— Science ftw (@Science_FTW_) June 23, 2020
Right? People tried to tell him. pic.twitter.com/42so9gFmGp
— The Good Tiles (@DPMCanty) June 23, 2020
We have established that the "object" was not a tampon. We have established that the video shows the baristas did nothing to the drink. We do not know what the object in the drink was or if the officer put it there themselves, though that seems to be the commonly held belief right now.
All we do know for sure is that pretty much anyone who has ever menstruated could have told everyone involved that this is not a tampon. In fact, they did. Repeatedly. With demonstrations of what actual tampons do in liquid.
It's almost like listening to the public would have saved everyone a lot of time and embarrassment.