Pregnancy should be a time of joy and excitement and planning for new beginnings, but it can be full of stress and unasked-for expectations.
Usually these expectations have to do with breastfeeding, baby names, or even choosing the "right" crib, but in one mom's case her use of social media was a cause for judgment as well.
Sometimes people will complain on social media when a new mom or dad crowds the newsfeed with pictures of their newly-born baby. Typically, these complaints are hidden away among friends, or shared years later.
But in one mom's case, who was sharing updates about her pregnancy and looming delivery date, she received an unexpected complaint from someone she considered a friend. This person said the woman was being insensitive by sharing her story for a very unique reason.
New mom-to-be and Reddit user, "ArchiveofDestruction," visited the "Am I the A$$hole" subReddit to share her story and to ask if she was, in fact, being insensitive in her posting.
You can read the full post here:
from AmItheAsshole
Though many could sympathize with the other woman who has miscarried, the response to the mom-to-be's post was a resounding "no" against her being a jerk or being insensitive in this situation.
They explained that she in no way should feel the need to hide her pregnancy and new child away for fear of hurting someone's feelings who does not have a child.
"It reeks of the whole 'there's starving kids in Africa so you can't complain about your food' bulls**t. Someone could comment on the friends post and say 'at least you managed to get pregnant once... some people can't even do that and you're ungrateful and shouldn't complain.' It's so stupid."
"You don't have to be the worst off to complain about something, and you can complain about something and still appreciate it. I agree that OP is totally NTA." - AaahhFakeMonsters
"I think it's relevant here that this isn't a post saying 'some people are hurting so don't express joy.' This is a post saying 'I am hurting because I want what you have so badly, can't have it through no fault of my own, and you expressing joy/discomfort/whatever over this is extremely painful for me to see.'"
"The friend is still the AH here, because she doesn't get to take her hurt out on innocent people. But we should recognize that her post is coming from a place of deep personal pain, not some abstract idea of bad things happening." - MercuryCobra
"I'm so torn. On the one hand the friend didnt need to make a post about it in order to make OP aware... But on the other hand not everything needs to a public post vented at everyone you've ever met."
"Can social media be the a$hole?" - iamasecretthrowaway
"Agreed- it's going down that path of you can't complain about anything because someone, somewhere has it worse. NTA" - ginzykinkz
Pregnancy is a new, unexplored, and exciting time for many, and it's perfectly reasonable to want to share the journey with those you wish to be in contact with.
It's also fair for women to share the hardships of their pregnancy, as there's already too much pressure to wear rose-colored glasses throughout the whole experience of pregnancy and motherhood as it is.
@LeeMerrittesq/X
@bob_moss/X
@jelanijones/Bluesky
@Aurkayne/X
@sadcommunistdog; @froglok/Bluesky