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Which Things People Define As 'Cheating' In A Relationship

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a man kissing a woman on the cheek
Photo by Steven Weeks on Unsplash

Reddit user lola-starr98 asked: 'What do you consider cheating in a relationship?'

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It's safe to say that the conventions of romantic relationships have greatly evolved over time.

As evidenced by the ever-growing number of people in open or polyamorous relationships.

Leaving one to wonder, what exactly constitutes "cheating" in this day and age.

Of course, this could be a personal decision, based on the ground rules people set in their own relationships.

Even so, one can't help but question if there are some instances that are always cheating, whether or not the relationship is monogamous.


Redditor lola-starr98 was curious to hear what the Reddit community considered to be "cheating" in any relationship, leading them to ask:
"What do you consider cheating in a relationship?"

Anything HE Does...

"My ex felt that me having a conversation about anything at all with anyone else was cheating, but her literally getting sexed by other men was OK."- GoodToe4691

Spoilers!!!

"Watching an episode alone of a show we started together."- Happy-Sea-Otter

When You Commit, You COMMIT!

"Being sentimentally or physically involved with someone else that isn't your partner."- a_man_of_music

"Doing anything sexual or romantic with someone else."- jellyfishmasquerade

orlando bloom cheating GIFGiphy

Think About How You Would Feel...

"My rule of thumb is if I wouldn't like it done to me I shouldn't be doing it myself."

"I know that's vague."

"But leaves you to draw the line where you want."- SureAce_

Anything That Isn't Out In The Open...

"Beyond the obvious (sex/kissing with another person), it can also be based on intent."

"For instance, dinner could be cheating if it was kept hidden or with an ex, etc."

"Depends a lot on context."- dogwatermoneybags

"Anything you do with another person you feel like you have to hide from me, I consider cheating."- nopestillgotit

Shocked Oh No GIF by LaffGiphy

Subtle Manipulation

"Not paying enough of the rent in Monopoly and using smile and cuddle to get away with it."- Dendex031

You Set Your Own Rules So You Will Never Break Them...

"Pretty much breaking any agreed upon 'rules' in your relationship."- Massive-Ad7628

"Whatever an individual couple agrees on as being cheating within the context of their relationship."-JanuaryWinterflame

"Breaking the rules of loyalty, trust, and honesty in your relationship."

"If you're monogamous, that means engaging in sexual and/or romantic activity with anyone other than your partner."

"If you're non-monogamous, that means doing engaging in sexual and/or romantic activities with people other than your partners without telling both the new person and the partners that's what you're doing."

'Basically if you're sneaking around and lying to people just to get extra attention outside of your relationships, you're 99% likely to be cheating."- GenericNerdGirl

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When You Know You're Getting In Too Deep...

"Back when I was still college aged, I learned this lesson the hard way."

"I could be a bit of a harmless flirt, but I would never cheat on my girlfriend."

"Then one night I got drunk with a friend of my girlfriend’s."

"After a night of ‘harmless flirting’ and drunk Twister, I ended up in her bed, on top of her."

"She whispered in my ear 'If you tried to f*ck me right now, I wouldn’t stop you'.”

"That snapped me back to reality, made me realize how real things had gotten and that I had gone too far."

"I apologized and I left."

"I told my girlfriend about it, because I knew that if I tried to hide it and her friend told her about it, it would be even worse."

"I never kissed her."

"I didn’t f*ck her."

"No one was naked."

"However, the fact that I had essentially been 5 seconds away from doing all of those things while in her bed massively betrayed the trust my girlfriend had for me."

"She wasn’t able to look at me the same way."

"I was genuinely remorseful, and learned my lesson, but it didn’t really matter."

"We tried to keep it together for a few more months, but she eventually left me over it, and I can’t say that I blame her."

"I was flung into a long spiral of depression, and it was worse knowing that it was all my fault."

"Cheating isn’t just about a physical, sexual act."

"You can cheat on someone without f*cking someone else."

"It’s about a betrayal of trust."

"And to go a step further, it’s your responsibility in a relationship to foster that trust by intentionally avoiding situations that could bring temptation or otherwise sketch out your partner."

"For example, don’t hang out with other girls one on one and get drunk with them, even if you know you don’t intend to do anything sexual with them."- Thograr

When The Connection Starts To Be Emotional

"I used to think it was only physical stuff, but seeing your partner drift away from you into the arms of someone else reeeally stings."

"So, basically entertaining the idea and keeping in contact with someone they might have a small/temporary crush on is a dealbreaker for me nowadays."- soapshirt

season 6 episode 3 GIFGiphy

By definition, cheating is when you are doing something blatantly wrong, or deceitful.

Which sometimes could mean kissing someone who isn't your partner.

Unless they are aware and ok with it.

One thing I'm sure everyone can agree with: nothing is more unforgivable than forging ahead on a series without waiting for your significant other.

...definitely not speaking from experience...

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