Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Event Planner Sparks Debate After Explaining How Much You Should Spend On A Wedding Gift

Screenshots from @melissaandre's TikTok video
@melissaandre/TikTok

Wedding planner and TikToker Melissa Andre explained that while the average wedding gift costs around $100, guests should feel comfortable staying within a budget that they can afford.

It's no secret that weddings are tremendously expensive to plan and host—but with inflation, destination weddings becoming increasingly popular, and more people opting for luxury weddings, it's alarming how expensive it's becoming to attend a wedding as a guest as well.

Including the cost of travel, clothing, the wedding gift, and also potentially lodging, hair and makeup, and cash bars, some people have to save up money for months just to attend a loved one's wedding.


But a popular luxury wedding planner, Melissa Andre, argued on TikTok that guests shouldn't have to experience financial strain just to be a part of their loved one's special day.

On her TikTok channel, Andre often shares behind-the-scenes looks at the luxury weddings that she plans, with some running as high as $5,000 per dinner plate. She also answers many popular questions, like where to get the best deals on bridesmaids' dressings, popular venues, and how to navigate serving alcohol tastefully at a wedding.

But a question she gets "all the time" is how much a guest should expect to spend on a wedding gift, whether it should be an item off of the registry or cash, and whether or not they should also match the cost of their dinner plate.

Andre passionately argues that couples should not view their guests as donors for their wedding day or their honeymoon, and that they should plan their wedding according to their true budget, not a dream budget.

Also, guests shouldn't feel pressured to give more than they are financially able to give. Rather, they should base their gift on their financial needs and their relationship with the bride and groom, and they should otherwise put their energy into celebrating the new couple's love rather than stressing about going into debt.

Andre argued:

“Guests are not there to pay for your honeymoon or to pay off your outstanding vendor bills from your wedding."
"You can have a beautiful wedding at any budget, even if it’s just 'join us for champagne and wedding cake in the garden following the ceremony.'"

You can watch the video here:

@melissaandre

Stitch @lakenbanks_ final answer: the average $100 but you should always base it on what youre comfortable with. You shouldnt strain yourself economically. A thoughtful card is fine if thats where you are 🖤#weddingplanner #weddinggift #weddingregistry #weddingetiquette

The video proved to be incredibly divisive among the TikTok crowd as some were relieved by Andre's view of gifting, while others expected to be reimbursed by their guests.

Some TikTokers adamantly agreed with Andre's perspective.

@melissaandre/TikTok

@melissaandre/TikTok

@melissaandre/TikTok

@melissaandre/TikTok

@melissaandre/TikTok

@melissaandre/TikTok

But some thought it was pretty selfish to put the happy couple into debt at the start of their marriage.

To this, Andre pointed out that guests are not forcing the bride and groom to get married, or to serve a pricey meal at their wedding, or instructing them on how up-scale and expensive their wedding should be. The happy couple is making those decisions, so it's up to them to cover the costs.

@melissaandre

Replying to @chrisloydsa

Others continued to argue in favor of paying to cover the cost of their plate.

But Andre argued that there was no set amount that a guest could base their plate cost on, and that would not be a polite question to ask the couple or wedding planner. Andre frequently plans weddings that cost thousands of dollars per plate, and that would not be feasible for most guests to cover.

But even if in the $50 to 100 plate range, it would be poor decorum to expect guests to cover the expenses the couple should have budgeted for in the first place.

@melissaandre

Replying to @nicolettetomasetti_ take a shot anytime i say “cost per plate” 💀

Some claimed to match whatever was spent at their wedding, going so far as to keep track of money spent on them.

Andre had strong feelings against this, as well, pointing out that money spent shouldn't be in direct correlation with the quality of a relationship with a friend or family member.

Also, a person may not be able to gift what they would like when they're a college student or ill or in-between jobs, which doesn't necessarily mean they're unworthy of receiving a nice gift 10 years later when they and their loved ones are in much better financial positions than before.

Andre reminded viewers again of the importance of gifting based on the relationship with the happy couple, as well as a person's financial means. A guest shouldn't have to go in debt just to attend.

@melissaandre

Replying to @abc11874 do you affount for inflation or difficult times when youre gifting a couple at their ereding ? #wedding #weddinggift #weddingplanner #weddingregistry

Finally, there was the question of whether a couple could ask for just monetary gifts, to which Andre gave an adamant no.

While it is a common question that Andre receives and she understands why people are asking, she pointed out that there are no situations where it's okay to tell other people how to spend their money.

Whether it's how much money to gift, to provide a gift or to give cash, or to attend the wedding at all, the couple should never feel entitled to direct their guests on how to spend their money on the event they're giving up their own time to attend.

@melissaandre

Replying to @medmermaid what do you like to gift when you attend a wedding? #weddingtiktok #weddingplanner #bridetobe #weddingadvice #weddingregistry #weddingetiquette

While wedding planning is expensive and at times stressful, it remains entirely the happy couple's decision to get married and also to host the wedding they want to host.

If they're concerned about how much they're spending and expect to recoup some of the money they spent through their guests' pocketbooks, that's a good sign that they may be living beyond their means and should consider downsizing their wedding day.

More from Trending

Jesse Watters
Fox News

Jesse Watters Dragged After Adding Another Mind-Boggling Rule For 'Real Men'

Fox News host Jesse Watters, who is apparently an authority of what it means to be a manly man, gave jazz hands to make a point about how "real men" should or shouldn't wave.

The target of his ridicule was Tim Walz, the enthusiastic Democratic Minnesota governor and vice presidential candidate who often greets the public by raising both hands in the air to wave.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshots of crowd at town hall and Rep. Mike Flood
@MorePerfectUS/X; KETV NewsWatch 7

GOP Rep. Goes Viral For His Response To Crowd Chanting 'Tax The Rich' At Town Hall

Nebraska Republican Representative Mike Flood was criticized following his incredulous response to a crowd that chanted "Tax the rich!" during a town hall meeting.

The Columbus High School auditorium hosted the town hall on Tuesday evening, drawing "nearly 380" attendees, according to local network KETV Omaha. The event was lively, with Flood facing both sharp criticism over Trump administration policies and some appreciation for showing up in person.

Keep ReadingShow less
Elon Musk
Andrew Harnik/Getty Images

Awkward Typo In Elon Musk's Bizarre 'Education Department' Trump Meme Is A Total Self-Own

Billionaire Elon Musk was widely mocked after he celebrated President Donald Trump's executive order to begin to dismantle the Department of Education (DOE) by posting a meme of Trump at the department's grave, only for an awkward misspelling to get all the attention.

Polling indicates that eliminating the Education Department is largely unpopular, with 60% of registered voters opposing the move, according to a Quinnipiac University survey conducted March 6-10. Support stands at 33%, with opposition particularly strong among Democrats—98% oppose it, while just 1% support it.

Keep ReadingShow less
JB Pritzker; Donald Trump
Jacek Boczarski/Anadolu via Getty Images; Anna Moneymaker/Getty Images

Dem Governor Reveals Trump's Bonkers Demand In Exchange For Equipment During COVID

Illinois Democratic Governor J.B. Pritzker revealed during a speech this week that he clashed with President Donald Trump during the first Trump administration after Trump promised necessary medical equipment during the COVID pandemic on the condition that Pritzker praise him publicly.

Five years ago, the United States was grappling with the initial impacts of the COVID-19 pandemic. The country had entered shutdowns that had severe economic consequences, leaving businesses and industries on the brink of collapse.

Keep ReadingShow less
Scrabble tiles spelling the word scam
Scam spelled with scrabbles on a wooden table

People Break Down How They Realized An Entire Industry Was A Total Scam

We unfortunately live in a world where scams are on the rise.

Thankfully, some of them are pretty easy to detect, such as an automated call from the IRS telling you a warrant is out for your arrest, or an email claiming to be from Amazon or the USPS asking for your credit card information, only to look closer and see the email address is a yahoo account.

Keep ReadingShow less