Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Event Planner Sparks Debate After Explaining How Much You Should Spend On A Wedding Gift

Screenshots from @melissaandre's TikTok video
@melissaandre/TikTok

Wedding planner and TikToker Melissa Andre explained that while the average wedding gift costs around $100, guests should feel comfortable staying within a budget that they can afford.

It's no secret that weddings are tremendously expensive to plan and host—but with inflation, destination weddings becoming increasingly popular, and more people opting for luxury weddings, it's alarming how expensive it's becoming to attend a wedding as a guest as well.

Including the cost of travel, clothing, the wedding gift, and also potentially lodging, hair and makeup, and cash bars, some people have to save up money for months just to attend a loved one's wedding.


But a popular luxury wedding planner, Melissa Andre, argued on TikTok that guests shouldn't have to experience financial strain just to be a part of their loved one's special day.

On her TikTok channel, Andre often shares behind-the-scenes looks at the luxury weddings that she plans, with some running as high as $5,000 per dinner plate. She also answers many popular questions, like where to get the best deals on bridesmaids' dressings, popular venues, and how to navigate serving alcohol tastefully at a wedding.

But a question she gets "all the time" is how much a guest should expect to spend on a wedding gift, whether it should be an item off of the registry or cash, and whether or not they should also match the cost of their dinner plate.

Andre passionately argues that couples should not view their guests as donors for their wedding day or their honeymoon, and that they should plan their wedding according to their true budget, not a dream budget.

Also, guests shouldn't feel pressured to give more than they are financially able to give. Rather, they should base their gift on their financial needs and their relationship with the bride and groom, and they should otherwise put their energy into celebrating the new couple's love rather than stressing about going into debt.

Andre argued:

“Guests are not there to pay for your honeymoon or to pay off your outstanding vendor bills from your wedding."
"You can have a beautiful wedding at any budget, even if it’s just 'join us for champagne and wedding cake in the garden following the ceremony.'"

You can watch the video here:

@melissaandre

Stitch @lakenbanks_ final answer: the average $100 but you should always base it on what youre comfortable with. You shouldnt strain yourself economically. A thoughtful card is fine if thats where you are 🖤#weddingplanner #weddinggift #weddingregistry #weddingetiquette

The video proved to be incredibly divisive among the TikTok crowd as some were relieved by Andre's view of gifting, while others expected to be reimbursed by their guests.

Some TikTokers adamantly agreed with Andre's perspective.

@melissaandre/TikTok

@melissaandre/TikTok

@melissaandre/TikTok

@melissaandre/TikTok

@melissaandre/TikTok

@melissaandre/TikTok

But some thought it was pretty selfish to put the happy couple into debt at the start of their marriage.

To this, Andre pointed out that guests are not forcing the bride and groom to get married, or to serve a pricey meal at their wedding, or instructing them on how up-scale and expensive their wedding should be. The happy couple is making those decisions, so it's up to them to cover the costs.

@melissaandre

Replying to @chrisloydsa

Others continued to argue in favor of paying to cover the cost of their plate.

But Andre argued that there was no set amount that a guest could base their plate cost on, and that would not be a polite question to ask the couple or wedding planner. Andre frequently plans weddings that cost thousands of dollars per plate, and that would not be feasible for most guests to cover.

But even if in the $50 to 100 plate range, it would be poor decorum to expect guests to cover the expenses the couple should have budgeted for in the first place.

@melissaandre

Replying to @nicolettetomasetti_ take a shot anytime i say “cost per plate” 💀

Some claimed to match whatever was spent at their wedding, going so far as to keep track of money spent on them.

Andre had strong feelings against this, as well, pointing out that money spent shouldn't be in direct correlation with the quality of a relationship with a friend or family member.

Also, a person may not be able to gift what they would like when they're a college student or ill or in-between jobs, which doesn't necessarily mean they're unworthy of receiving a nice gift 10 years later when they and their loved ones are in much better financial positions than before.

Andre reminded viewers again of the importance of gifting based on the relationship with the happy couple, as well as a person's financial means. A guest shouldn't have to go in debt just to attend.

@melissaandre

Replying to @abc11874 do you affount for inflation or difficult times when youre gifting a couple at their ereding ? #wedding #weddinggift #weddingplanner #weddingregistry

Finally, there was the question of whether a couple could ask for just monetary gifts, to which Andre gave an adamant no.

While it is a common question that Andre receives and she understands why people are asking, she pointed out that there are no situations where it's okay to tell other people how to spend their money.

Whether it's how much money to gift, to provide a gift or to give cash, or to attend the wedding at all, the couple should never feel entitled to direct their guests on how to spend their money on the event they're giving up their own time to attend.

@melissaandre

Replying to @medmermaid what do you like to gift when you attend a wedding? #weddingtiktok #weddingplanner #bridetobe #weddingadvice #weddingregistry #weddingetiquette

While wedding planning is expensive and at times stressful, it remains entirely the happy couple's decision to get married and also to host the wedding they want to host.

If they're concerned about how much they're spending and expect to recoup some of the money they spent through their guests' pocketbooks, that's a good sign that they may be living beyond their means and should consider downsizing their wedding day.

More from Trending

Screenshots from Dove's ad featuring transgender women
Dove

'One Million Moms' Calls For Dove Boycott Over Hair Care Ad Featuring Trans Woman

The vehemently transphobic conservative group One Million Moms (OMM)—an arm of the Christian fundamentalist nonprofit American Family Association (AFA)—called for a boycott of Dove products after the company featured a transgender woman in an advertisement for their Damage Therapy Intensive Repair Conditioner.

The ad garnered attention after it was shared by the social media account Libs of TikTok—run by the anti-LGBTQ+ conservative Chaya Raichik—which described the ad as an example of "another woke company trying to erase women."

Keep ReadingShow less
Alyssa Milano; Julian McMahon
Michael Kovac/Elton John AIDS Foundation/Getty Images; Marcus Ingram/The Surfer/Getty Images

Alyssa Milano Shares Poignant Tribute To 'TV Husband' Julian McMahon After His Death At 56

Actor Julian McMahon lost his battle with cancer at the age of 56 earlier this week, and to say that the Charmed, Nip/Tuck, and Fantastic Four actor touched many lives would be an understatement.

When the news of McMahon's passing went public, his Charmed costar and "TV wife" Alyssa Milano came forward and expressed her sadness and condolences on Instagram. The pair were a favorite couple on Charmed, and it was clear from her post that their care for each other extended beyond the screen.

Keep ReadingShow less

People Who Slept With Their Best Friend Describe The Aftermath

When two people have a deep and meaningful friendship, the question might eventually come up of whether or not they could be more. Agreeing that their friendship might deserve more, they might try to date or at least explore physical intimacy.

But crossing that line carries with it consequences, and it's only once the pair crosses that line that they'll find out if crossing it was good or bad.

Keep ReadingShow less
child writing on chalkboard
Leonardo Toshiro Okubo on Unsplash

Bilingual People Explain Which Words They're Surprised Don't Exist In English

According to one report, approximately 3.3 billion people worldwide—43 % of the population—are multilingual, meaning they speak at least two languages. According to the last Census, 21.6% of people in the United States speak more than one language, while in the United Kingdom, the number is 36%.

More multilingual people speak English as a second language than English speakers who have learned another language besides English. Worldwide, people who learned English as a first language rate among the lowest in multilingual rates.

Keep ReadingShow less
Andrew Garfield at the 2025 Glastonbury Festival
Harry Durrant/Getty Images

Andrew Garfield meets fan with wild tweet!

American actor Andrew Garfield had a funny yet awkward reunion with a fan from a viral “Thirst Tweet” featured on Buzzfeed Celeb.

The Thirst Tweet compilation shows celebrities reading a collection of scandalous tweets from fans commenting on their looks, attractiveness, and sex appeal. Blushing stars include James McAvoy, Renee Rapp, Keanu Reeves, Anthony Mackie, and more recently, Brad Pitt and Javier Bardem, as they promote F1 the Movie that was released in theaters last week.

Keep ReadingShow less