I've lost track of the number of times I've averted death.
One of the most unusual was death by a dog.
My dog is small.
And she loves to sneak up on people.
She loves sneaking up on me the most.
I've explained that I need her to stop.
Especially after she popped out of a closet at the top of the stairs.
I swear I heard God whisper hello in the split second from when I tripped to miraculously being able to grab the handrail.
I've tried to tell her that she's not in the will, so lay off.
All of my other near deaths are car incidents and bad dates.
Care to share?
Redditor sintemp wanted to hear about the times we've all averted odd ways of perishing, so they asked:
"In what unusual way have you almost died?"
Life is littered with near-death incidents.
It's a wonder we can enjoy living at all.
Oh wait, maybe that's the point.
Close Call
Pop Tv Please GIF by One Day At A TimeGiphy"Almost booked a ticket on MH17 with my mum and brother, before my dad shut it down and said he’s fed up with flying with Malaysian airlines. So we flew with Emirates instead, wise decision."
KenyanJesus69
"Same, my mum booked our tickets for MH17. Then they were changed to a day earlier, my whole family was sad we left early. Saw the news on MH17 when we landed in New Zealand. Scary crap."
Zoutt
Lungs
"When I was born in 1995 one of my lungs was filled with amniotic fluid. The doctors went in to drain it and inadvertently tore it instead. Then they proceeded to tear the other one in an attempt to fix the first one. My mother remembers two doctors getting into an extremely heated verbal argument over this. Doctor 1 thought he could treat me at the current hospital I was in."
"Doctor 2 knew that I would die if I wasn’t transferred to a better-equipped emergency center. They were in such disagreement that Doctor 2 literally had to sneak me out after Doctor 1’s shift was over. Obviously, it worked. I turned out not just making a full recovery, but I left ALOT of people scratching their heads because my body never developed scar tissue from all of that. My lungs work 100%."
Ohlookitsyouagain
Not Faking
"Got pushed off a dock by a bully and drowned in front of a lifeguard who was yelling at me to stop faking. I was 9 or 10 at the time and I couldn't swim. The town had a population of less than 800, only had 1 lifeguard, and I was at the beach 3-5 days a week because of family, so they knew. Brother ended up pulling me out and resuscitating me himself. Lifeguard pretended she didn't notice."
ModularArchive
Death Secret
"I was digging a hole at 12-14 years old. Because I could, kid stuff. I only remember waking up, and it was dark. I had apparently hit an underground electric line. No one knew. I was there for hours. I got up, went inside, and ate dinner. This was in the early 80s. I peed my pants. And felt weird for a day or two. Never told my parents. Thought they’d be mad."
BadLuckEddie
Chew Slowly
top hat fish GIF by GoldfishGiphy"By inhaling a Goldfish. The cracker, not the animal."
"Got pneumonia, hospitalized, the whole 9 yards."
"I don't eat goldfish anymore."
EchoLynx
I knew those little goldfish were dangerous.
Fish are killers with the right cheese.
Horrors
Over It Rose GIF by HULUGiphy"My stomach veins exploded. It was like something out of a movie the blood pouring out of my mouth. Don’t recommend it. Still traumatized."
pancakesquest1
50 Feet
"I came ~50 feet away from getting struck by lightning in April 2015… in Auschwitz. I was there with my dad and we hopped off the main tracks about 15 seconds before lightning hit them in front of us. We always joke (darkly) that we’d have been the last Jews to die in Auschwitz if we hadn’t moved."
chyko9
A beaten body...
"Fell down a mountain. (It was like a slide area that went at an angle off vertical.) My clothes and skin were torn badly, one of my pack straps was broken, and, while nothing felt broken, I felt like I had been beaten by baseball bats for a week. Took me 2 weeks to get out and to medical care. I was bleeding from every orifice and couldn't eat or drink when I entered the hospital."
"For a CAT they dumped something like 1.5 liters of, what we soon discovered, of a dye that I was severely allergic to. I next woke in the same room with a technician sobbing into my face and a doctor who looked like he just ran a marathon holding those shock paddles."
"I was informed of the allergy, told I had died, and had to swear to the, still very upset, technician that I'd always tell others I had such a severe allergy. So, I dragged my beaten body into a hospital for them to kill me in an attempt to find out what was wrong."
Gurpguru
Combat Problems
"Was assisting at a target practice in the military when a trainee misfired and got saved by my Kevlar helmet, the force of the impact pushed my head backward, and fell into the ground with so much force that I got a concussion."
"Next thing I know, the drill instructors are tearing that trainee a new one while I'm looking at a beautiful blue sky hearing shouting far away. Luckily I got hit by a 9 mm. to the helmet and not a 7.62 mm. from our standard combat rifle."
CommieWhacker14
Safety Issues
excited d&d GIF by Hyper RPGGiphy"I almost got crushed in a pin setter when I was working on the pin table (bowling lane). I was lazy and didn’t LOTO because as the manager I didn’t think anyone would turn it on but me. I was wrong and it was a mistake I only made once."
HappyHubby33
Lord, half of these are the worst of my memories.
We're not even safe in our own homes!
Do you have any stories? Let us know in the comments.
@winnieharlow/Instagram
@realDonaldTrump/Truth Social
