Let's be honest, there are some things that you shouldn't do on a first date. You shouldn't talk the entire time and give the other person no time to share, for one, but there are others that are less talked about.
To help other people avoid these mistakes, some Redditors shared what should absolutely be a no-no on the first date if the person wanted to have any hope of going on a second one.
Curious, Redditor Expensive-Figure-190 asked:
"What's an unspoken rule on a first date?"
Be A Good Conversationalist
"Conversations take two people."
- Random-Gif-Bot
"It’s amazing how many people don’t know that."
- fibbonaccisun
"I recently moved to a new city/country and trying to make new friends. I have noticed a critical amount of people who literally just talk about themselves and their stories and their lives and barely ask anything back."
"Some might ask things back but you can tell they don’t care, and just quickly move on to them again."
"I don’t understand why people do that. It’s weird and boring, to be honest."
- ReasonableFreedom105
"I call that the social media affect. People are so used to just putting their information out into the void they don't know how to communicate back and forth."
- Status_Unknown_
Remember This Is A Date, Not An Interview
"Don’t make your date feel like they’re at a job interview more than a date."
- StangRunner45
"Or, worse yet, make your date feel like they are the ones conducting a job interview. Ask some GD questions back."
- Haystacks08
"Yeah, I think this is actually a more common problem. If your dates feel like job interviews, it might be because you’re not asking the other person anything or helping move the conversation along."
- youreannie
Stay True To Yourself
"Be authentic. Be yourself rather than trying to impress, authenticity builds genuine connections."
- Rikoclawzer
"This. If you need to impose forced rules on yourself to impress or avoid scaring someone, you’ll end up attracting them for something you’re not, and it’ll only be a matter of time before the mask falls off."
"I’d rather be with a girl who talks openly about her ex than someone who forces herself not to, only to later discover she has a thousand unresolved emotional issues related to past relationships."
- Fonsor1722
Just In Case!
"IT SHOULD ALWAYS BE SOMEWHERE PUBLIC."
- NC_Vixen
"As I wish I could go back and tell my dumb college self:"
"Yes, driving in the canyon is nice. Yes, the night view of the city lights is great from the overlook up the canyon. No, don't take a girl out there on a first date if you just met her; otherwise, she assumes you are going to kidnap her."
- rtowne
Thank You For Being Here
"There’s no perfect boyfriend or girlfriend, show the appreciation that your date showed up."
- collecting_knowledge
"100 percent, have appreciation whether it goes well or not. They turned up after all. They are interested on some level."
- Smiley_Dub
"Most times people forget how hard it is to show up (especially after countless disappointments). Appreciating a prospective boyfriend or girlfriend on a first date makes a lot of difference."
- collecting_knowledge
Be Mindful Of Spending
"Ordering the most costly item on the menu should only be done if you intend to pay for it. You have our attention, Mr. 'I forgot my wallet.'"
- Tormented_Tale
"I went out with him once. He not only couldn’t pay, he went on and on about how he wouldn’t have money to get back home because he was fishing for me to give him some cash as well. Oh, the good old days."
- Alarmed_Range_3314
Don't Demand A Double Life
"Don't talk about your kids too much on the first date."
- PotentialWoodpecker1
"To add: let me know if you have kids BEFORE the date."
- Ohnoherewego13
Talk About Relatable Things
"Your car isn't a personality trait. I had a date who wouldn't stop talking about his BMW."
"Cool car, but I'm trying to date you, not your vehicle."
- PetitezxQueen
Have A Backup Plan
"If I'm on a terrible date, I just wait, look at the time on my phone, then say, 'Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I have to go let my dog out!' Could be used even if you don't have a dog, as presumably, you aren't gonna want to see the person ever again."
- Unique-Ad-890
"My friends and I used to have a group chat back when we were all on the apps. We'd text a screenshot of the person along with their phone number and the place we were going. If it went badly, all we had to do was text a pineapple emoji to the group and someone would show up and pretend we hadn't seen each other in forever, inviting themselves to join us or call with an emergency."
"This was used only a few times, including once when a friend found out her date was an ex-cop (he wouldn't say why ex) who was anti-Semitic (she's openly Jewish) and kept stopping her from leaving. Never know when you'll be in a bad place, especially with someone like that."
- wonky_donut_legs
"I have the UNO-reverse of this."
"I was on my first date (with my now wife) and we were hitting it off very well. It was a dinner date and we closed the place down. I had been getting texts from friends that had no clue I was going out on a date so they actually started thinking something was wrong."
"I had to text them back from the bathroom. We all still chuckle about it to this day."
- forkoff77
When You Know, You Know
"Don't tell her you want to marry her on the first date."
"I broke that rule. Kind of... what I actually said was, 'We can skip all this dating stuff and just get married now because that's exactly where we are headed.'"
"She laughed. We still dated two and a half years before getting married, and we've been happily married for sixteen years."
"When I first looked at her... I mean, really looked at her... I could see the rest of my life flash before my eyes, and she was there with me. I just knew."
- _and_red_all_over
Strike A Balance
"She’s there on a date. So she expects some romance, some chemistry, some attraction. Therefore, don’t give off too much of a “friend” vibe, although of course don’t be “creepy” as well. Finding the line in between is important."
- TurbulentVillage4169
Focus On The Right Things
"When you go out to dinner, it's not about the food. Have a small bite beforehand so it doesn't become about the food."
- Koreyander
"I always turn up ravenous and I expect my prospective partner to as well. Picking at a meal you kinda want is fine, but there's a glorious joy in ordering the biggest platter of ribs they sell and demolishing them together."
- ibiacmbyww
Share The Expense
"Split the bill unless explicitly offered otherwise. It gets rid of that weird now I owe you something feeling plus it's 2023 for crying out loud."
- Sexy69Rose
"Saying, 'These are separate checks,' really shows the intention of the date. It's amazing how many attractive women forget their wallets. Guess you'll enjoy some ice water then!"
- eddyathome
One Of The Most Important Rules!
"Don't leave me hanging on a high-five."
- Mcshiggs
"Well now, that's just bad manners."
- doomweaver
Good Rules To Live By
"Don't trauma dump. Don't talk about previous relationships. Don't be mean to service people (porters, waiters, etc)."
"Dress well. Be clean. Smell good. Don't talk over your date when they're speaking. Make sure to pay attention to body language."
- LittleMsHurtYurFeels
These are all great tips for people who want to impress, have a great time, and make a lasting impression.
Because when people are dating, they're generally interested in having a relationship, and that can only happen if they reach a second date and beyond.
@elleuk/Instagram
@elleuk/Instagram
