Being turned off by someone can be just as easy as being turned on. I hate to admit it, but it can only take one minor infraction, in a split second to sour my taste in someone.
I once was with someone I thought may actually turn out to be "the one," then for a moment, their laugh went a little too shrill for my ears. I was done. They were dead to me, darlings.
I know I'm extreme, but I'm not alone. We all have those little details, and pet peeves that send a big "No thank you flag" out. Some actions are tiny and others are large. And a lot of these traits can be fixed, if one is so inclined.
Redditor u/iamaaronmullen wanted to hear about what details a person may possess that is a big mood kill, by asking:
What is something a lot of people find attractive that is actually a turn off for you?
The worst feeling about what we're about to read is... we may find ourselves on these lists. Don't lie, you know, you're thinking it as well. So good luck to us all, fingers crossed, unless that's a turn off too...
Be Quiet
fall out boy guitars GIF by CMT CrossroadsGiphy"Dudes who always play their acoustic guitar and sing. Once and a while is fine but not all the time. Anyway, here's Wonderwall."
- jkw91
Private Matters
"Public proposals."
"I made it so clear to my now-fiancé that I hated this crap. So he found the most beautiful, secluded spot on the Grand Canyon rim hike and proposed there. I loved it so much I kept the map they give you at the visitor center, put a heart over the exact spot, and framed it so it now hangs over our bed."
"I could tell my ex-boyfriend was going to do that. He is marriage oriented. That was great, but at a weekend trip we did, he was so bummed and depressed when I said I hate public proposals. You are putting the woman you love into a corner, forcing her to be polite, hurt you, or putting pressure on her. Right now a woman he is dating for 11 months have moved in together. I'm not going to be shocked to find him do a public proposal at an event with his and her family there."
Duh!
"Pretending to be stupid when you are not. It's not cute, it just makes me feel uncomfortable."
"I remember the manager at my old job was complaining to one of the girls I worked with that he hated it when girls act stupid. Accused her of doing it, and told her to knock it off. She replied, "Oh my gooooo-od! This isn't an act!" I was inclined to believe her."
Outrageous Fortune
"When guys show how much money they have- expensive cars, clothes, jewelry, carrying a lot of cash, hustle culture. I just don't like people who are so obsessed with wealth and money and showing it off."
"I had a disagreement with a former roommate where he could not fathom that anybody wanted other things out of life besides extreme wealth."
"In his view literally every person trying to do good has an ulterior motive, or is already rich, or idk just can't get wealth and is trying to get laid some other way. Central to his world view was this notion that wealth is the real and only goal and everything else is a means to it, or a failure to achieve it or something."
Experience Needed
like a virgin hello GIFGiphy"People who think virgins are the ultimate sex make no sense to me. I guess those people are either controlling, paranoid, or jealous. (or some combination thereof)."
I love "Wonderwall" and public proposals. Some of you are just no fun, and THAT is also a turn off, but to each their own I suppose. And I do love money, but classy people with money, don't go out of their way to show off. Just FYI.
Calm Down
Skal Vi Danse Smile GIF by tv2norgeGiphy"Men acting super cocky or tough, like that "macho" energy. Always hated it and I never understood the appeal."
Logos
"Designer clothes with very Obvious brand logos plastered on everything they wear."
"I never understood why people kill for those Louis Vuitton handbags, it's a damn piece of brown leather with the same logo just slapped around it and they look horrible."
"Exactly. I actually find it embarrassing to walk around in things that have the logo so obviously put. Gucci, lv etc."
Drive Away
"Guys posing in front of cars. Instant turn off in dating profiles whenever I see one."
"Once I was sitting in my mom's car playing Minecraft at the very back of the car while she was picking up my dad, and a bunch of teenage boys came up to the car and I thought they were about to steal the car. But nah, they just started taking pics and at one point one guy was holding a door like he was about to get in and drive. After their photo shoot they just left. I'll never understand why people do these things 🤦🏻♀️."
Lashed Out
"Muppet lashes."
"Most fascinating thing. I was mocked in school for having extremely long, thick lashes, spider-eye they would call me. Now they're running to salons trying to get that very thing done for a lot of money. I once had a dude in a club try to rip off my "fake" lashes, he was so pissed at "fake everything," he felt he needed to "teach me a lesson." He made my lid pop off my eye socket with an audible smack."
"perfect"
Maya Rudolph Eyebrows GIFGiphy"The way some girls try to get "perfect" eyebrows. Yea I get no one likes a monno brow even on guys but a girl I know looks like she's 2 Nike logos and it's all I can see. I'm bad for not looking people in the eye but with her I must look real attentive."
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Let's Play
"Lap dances. One or two past girlfriends took it upon themselves to give me a lap dance, and it just feels silly and awkward being on the receiving end."
"My wife and I feel this way about role playing of any sort. We just end up getting the giggles."
"Sometimes we role play during foreplay but honestly it mostly involves bad accents, sexual innuendo and terrible puns. We're usually both laughing, it's fun. I don't think sex always needs to be solemn passionate lovemaking. Part of what attracts me to him is how funny he is, and the role playing stuff turns me on but not for the reasons you might think."
Gross
"Baby talk, or whatever you want to call it. Makes me cringe. Talk like an adult."
"My brother still lives at home, and his partner is over quite frequently. They ONLY talk in the baby voice. Nothing in the world gets me more pissed off than having to listen to 2 grown adults baby talk and giggle and make exaggerated kissy noises for hours, especially when I'm trying to sleep."
- mhnbwr
Blending
"When someone displays their wealth frequently with luxury handbags or clothes or cars etc."
"I think the difference is that you are showing off your interests instead of your money. It is pretty easy to figure out who is showing off their money vs their interest in cars once you talk to them. From a distance obviously it sort of blends together."
"diaper butt"
"Butt implants that give the "diaper butt" look. I mean, i like a nice round booty like anyone else, but these diaper butts look horrendous."
Macho
"Any level of machismo or physical aggression in men. I do not want you to get mad in my defense over little things. I also do not want to see you punch a wall in your rage. I will actually end up worrying that you are going to pick a dumb fight or break something over a stupid thing."
"Your rage makes me nervous even if it's not directed at me. It's not a turn on. Like sure, if someone is actually trying to hurt me or creep on me, I don't mind a guy stepping in to help. But it should be a last resort. I much prefer a man who wants to just leave or de-escalate a situation as calmly as possible."
Control
Step Off Watch Out GIF by Talk StoopGiphy"Possessiveness. Talk to my woman/man, you'll have me to mess with" is so unattractive me- feels like the person sees their partner as an object in their life that they need to defend, not a full a** human who they can trust."
- bobagret
Be Smart
"Girls who act stupid in order to be perceived as damsels in distress. It's very unattractive to me especially if I know the girl is smart and competent to take care of herself."
"When I started middle school, I thought acting dumb would win over my crush bc all the popular girls acted like that. Meanwhile, my teacher noticed but saw me making straight A's. She pulled me aside one day and said "don't ever downplay your intelligence." And that's one of the only things I can remember from middle school to this day. Lmao."
Wealth...
"When guys show how much money they have- expensive cars, clothes, jewelry, carrying a lot of cash, hustle culture. I just don't like people who are so obsessed with wealth and money and showing it off."
"I had a disagreement with a former roommate where he could not fathom that anybody wanted other things out of life besides extreme wealth."
"In his view literally every person trying to do good has an ulterior motive, or is already rich, or idk just can't get wealth and is trying to get laid some other way. Central to his world view was this notion that wealth is the real and only goal and everything else is a means to it, or a failure to achieve it or something."
Negative Vibes
"Women that are deliberately rude and "bad witch" energy. But like the negative type of energy."
- shygrl__
"Men or women who use the line "I'm not afraid to speak my mind," or "I'm opinionated." You're not a bold confident person... you're an a**hole. Plenty of stuff I don't say in my head because it's inappropriate or mean."
I think we all need to take a step back with the beauty additions. I love lashes but even Ms. Piggy can turn it down. What has this read taught us thus far? Don't try so hard. Start with being yourself. Feels like we can all see through the rest.
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