People Describe The Most Unforgettable Thing Their Therapist Ever Told Them

*The following article contains discussion of suicide/self-harm.

According to a study in 2022, about 55.8 million adults in the United States received mental health treatment, including counseling, medication, or inpatient or outpatient treatment.

Women are more likely to receive mental health treatment than men. The study found about 27% of women in the United States had received mental health treatment.

According to the American Psychiatric Association, about 75% of people who try psychotherapy see some benefit from it.

Reddit user commander_boobs asked:

"What's one thing a therapist has said to you that you will never forget?"

Codependency

"They challenged me to answer why I kept getting into relationships with people who are likely to be a co-dependent relationship with me (bad mental health, physical health issues, etc...)."

"I ended up coming to the conclusion that it’s easier to avoid having to deal with my own issues if I spend my time dealing with somebody else’s."

~ Antoxic

Never Too Late

"She asked if there was anything I wanted to do in my life that I no longer thought I could do. I told her that I wanted to go to law school but that was no longer in the cards for me."

"She said, 'you know that you can still go to law school right? No one has to give you permission'."

"I’ll be graduating with my JD in May of next year. I doubt she understand the true impact of her simple statement that day."

~ sethscoolwife

If You Can't Love Yourself

"That child that was never loved or acknowledged is still waiting, not on your parents but on you. You are her parent now."

"Will you ignore her, not love her, not value her, and not find her worthy as well? You decide if she thrives or survives."

"Your parents let her down. Will you do the same?"

~ Dry-Willingness948

Being The Change

"You show up for other people because no one ever showed up for you, and you don’t ever want anyone else to feel that pain."

~ bondgirlsare4ever

"We all become the person who would have saved us that time no one did."

"You didn't know how to hold emotions, so you melted down and cried for no reason all the time, and got shamed for it, told you were broken and weak—and now you're the person your friends and even strangers feel safe showing their sadness and doubt and embarassment around."

"People you thought you could trust used your most sensitive vulnerabilities to destroy you to advance themselves, and now you're the person people can trust to keep personal information with discretion, always, who would never bring up a vulnerability to throw a friend under the bus, ever."

"You were always told it wasn't worth trying if you weren't the best, and your interests were dismissed, and now you love nothing more than seeing people try things they love, and supporting their efforts and passions."

"You've become the person you needed way back then, because you know how important that person is, because you didn't have someone to be that person for you."

"We become the person who would have saved us, when no one did."

~ theAlpacaLives

Living Versus Situation

"There is a difference between 'I don’t want to live anymore' and 'I don’t want to live LIKE THIS anymore'—yup, Mrs. Kim, you were right and I’m still around!"

~ blrps

"Mine said something similar as well. 'You don't want to stop living, you just want to stop feeling this way'."

"Years after my suicide attempt I still have the occasional suicidal thought and I can always tie it to this specific mixed feeling of being overwhelmed, dread, hopelessness, and exhaustion. It's such a strong feeling I can taste it."

"Realizing it was that big emotion has kept me free of self harm and calm when the random intrusive 'I should kill myself' thought pops up. It'll pass in about 2 minutes and I'll be all good."

~ Googametergoinbabies

Anger

"Depression doesn’t have to be sadness or the lack of happiness. It could come in the form of unresolved anger."

"Made me reframe a lot of what I was trying to fix."

~ usbman

"I’ve heard it said that depression very often is anger that we’ve stuffed inside."

~ Mental-Paramedic9790

People Pleasing

"You're a people pleaser. And, aren't you a people? So, when is it YOUR turn?"

~ Darkm0or

"I've only recently discovered something like this. I used to love cooking for my ex. She could so rarely be bothered to say thank you."

"I think she also felt overwhelmed by it because it was a daily show of affection from me, but to her, it was just food. Sapped the joy right out of my gesture, so I stopped cooking for either of us."

"At least without the same effort. But the other day, I decided to make a simple but nice breakfast FOR myself.

"Felt good to put in the effort and be the one recognizing it. Better breakfasts ahead."

~ otarman

Less Than 100%

"A therapist once told me it's OK to half-a** something, saying:"

"'Not everything is worth your whole a**'."

~ Salty-Obligation-603

Breaking The Cycle

"The urge to binge lasts 7 minutes."

"I struggled with binge eating disorder for 20 years and finally sought help last January. I would get the urge to binge around the same time every night, around 9:30. I bought a little sudoku book from the dollar store and played for 10 minutes every time I got the urge to binge."

"Obviously, it took a lot more than that statement for me to begin my recovery, and those 7 minutes were absolutely grueling for the first few months, but I can proudly say I’ve been binge-free since February 1st, 2023."

~ MCSweatpants

Perfectionism

"Advice that helps me immensely is 'don’t let perfect be the enemy of good'. From my progress as a person to how many chores I can do in a day, small steps are worth more than we give ourselves credit for."

~ fortunecookiecrumble

"Yes! Same. The only way out is through! Also, don’t let the idea of perfection get in the way of progress (analysis paralysis)."

"A silly example of this was my closet, legitimately looked like a hurricane hit it. I was doing the whole 'if you give a mouse a cookie…' thing to myself on something as simple as cleaning a damn closet!"

"If I clean it out, I might as well get rid of stuff, and if I get rid of stuff, then I need to sell the good stuff, and if I want to sell the good stuff, then I have to post it online, and if I post it online, then I need to ship it, etc..."

"Not only did it take me less than a day (two half days) to finish, it wasn’t nearly as bad as I expected. Did I get rid of stuff?"

"No. Was it perfect? Also, no. But I kept going and felt so accomplished at the end!"

~ l_spyro

Priorities

"You're going to piss off a lot of people when you start doing what's best for you."

~ TheresALonelyFeeling

"Whenever I stand up for myself, I just get my feelings belittled and I'm always the one in the wrong. It really has big knock-on effects for your self confidence across all areas of your life."

~ Reddit

"I got pretty much the same advice as you. I also had to learn how to say no and stick to it."

"Cut a lot of people off. It was lonely at first. However, I finally saw who was still there. It was a moment of clarity in some ways."

"Now I don’t tolerate certain things. Fewer friends, but rock solid friends."

~ Substantial-Habit455

Baby Steps

"A therapist once told me, 'You don’t have to fix everything at once. Just start somewhere'."

"It helped me let go of the pressure to be perfect and focus on small steps. It made the bigger issues feel less overwhelming."

~ ReporterFamous3631

"I once got into a very deep and bad depression. That is how I succeded to fix it."

"Do anything you can. Even if it looks useless or out of order. What you can do now is something done."

"That opens the doors to do other things. Slowly, things get done, and the mountain shrinks and shrinks. And next thing you realise is where is the problem?"

"It is solved and you didn't realised that the mountain is gone."

~ thephantom1492

Taking Up Space

"When you stop making yourself small, some people will no longer fit in your life."

"You’ll probably notice it’s always the same people who make you feel disrespected in this way, and that’s a sign that they don’t belong in your life."

~ gethee2anunnery

"The way my therapist explained it to me is that I shrink myself very small to accommodate everyone else’s feelings and needs."

"She encourages me to accept that I need space for myself too and that I don’t always have to accommodate someone else at the cost of my own peace of mind and happiness."

"And so when you do that, you’re basically relaxing and letting yourself take up more space in your own life, and that results in less room for everyone else to take up in YOUR life."

"And for the ones that aren’t happy with that, they’ll just choose to walk away because you’re technically useless to their ego rides now."

~ StayAnonStaySmart

Letting Go

"There comes a time when you have to transition from being your son's manager to his consultant."

~ kokaneeranger

"I told this to my children as they reached that 18/college/'I'm my own adult now' milestone."

"'Up to now you were expected to listen to me and do what I told you because I was the parent and you were the child. Now the best I can do, if you ask for it, is offer wisdom and advice and it's up to you whether you take it'."

~ dmorin

"I got to college and had no idea how to do anything for myself because my parents were so controlling/disinterested in creating self-sufficient kids. My mom was happy to keep control until I forcibly took it away from her."

"It's a weird thing to be 28 and have to repeatedly tell your mother, week after week, 'No, I am not going to break up with my boyfriend, cancel my lease, and move back home so that you have somebody to parent. No'."

~ AggravatingCupcake0

Voicing Wants And Needs

"Unspoken expectations of others are just future resentments."

"This quote is not suggesting that you stop expecting things from others. It just means that if you do have expectations of others, it's your responsibility to make the other person aware of them."

"For example, if you expect your husband to clean the dishes after you've cooked dinner, but you never voice those expectations to him, then eventually you will resent him for not doing it."

"People need to be taught how we would like them to be our friends/partners. Then it's up to them if they want to do those things or not."

~ LethalMindNinja

Have you ever sought counseling?

Was there anything your therapist said that stayed with you?

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If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.