Any kind of romantic relationship takes work.
Once the honeymoon phase ends, both partners involved realize that if they're going to stay for the long haul, they must equally put in the effort.
However, not all relationships are built the same. Some have no hope in salvaging a relationship that is never meant to be.
So how do you avoid an eventual heartbreak after so much investment of time?
Redditor icyqueen999999 got some helpful hints after asking:
"What is a dead giveaway of a toxic relationship?"
Trust was severely lacking in these relationships.
Proof Of Fidelity
"My 57 year old colleague constantly has to send videos and pics of him working to his wife."
– LB89LB19
Speaking From Experience
"My ex always tried to make me do this. F'king obnoxious. Guess who was eventually found out to never be where he said he was and was sneaking around instead? Lol."
– AlpacaOurBags
Final Analysis
"It's not only that but if you make someone spend all their energy proving that they are faithful, they don't have the mental capacity to even consider their partner might be the unfaithful one."
– sturmeh
Submitting Detailed Records
"I found out the other week that my buddy has to send his girlfriend detailed notes with timestamps of legitimately everything he does while hanging out with the guys..."
"9:14 went down to the kitchen for a glass or water 9:15 stopped to pet the cats before heading upstairs 9:18 made it back upstairs and sat on the right side of the couch."
– rowdy_sprout
Both parties involved have to benefit from a relationship. These examples reflect ones that don't.
Path Of Least Resistance
"One partner always gets their way."
"For me, it was 'easier' to bend over backward than to deal with the whining and complaining if I stood my ground. Easier is in quotes because it was only easier in the short term - long term made life hell."
– The_Griffin_Scimitar
Mental And Physical Toll
"Fine, whatever you want, just like always, whatever you want."
"Whatever I want? It's never whatever I want. When I wanted to see Stomp, and you wanted to see Wicked, what did we see?"
"We saw Wicked."
"When I said that I wanted to have kids, and you said, you wanted me to have a vasectomy, what did I do? And then when you said that you might want to have kids and I wasn't so sure, Who had the vasectomy reversed? And then when you said you defintely didn't want to have kids, who had it reversed back? Snip snap! Snip snap! Snip snap! I did. You have no idea the physical toll, that three vasectomies have on a person. And I bought this condo to fill with children."
– VaiterZen
Failure In The Long Term
"Sadly, in these sorts of relationships, the person who cares the least has the most power. You could bend over backwards trying to please the other person, and it might keep them around in the short term, but it doesn't change the fact they don't really respect you. You know in your gut that if you ever actually stood your ground on any issue instead of giving in to them, things would end there and then."
– Innalibra
It appears the love has vacated the scene a long time ago.
Talking Smack
"If someone is always talking crap about their partner whenever they are not together."
"I've seen this far too many times, it's always ended in total disaster withing a few years at most."
– ricochetpeestream
Endless Complaining
"Ugh, yup. I've listened to so many people complain about their partners and I just wonder: WHY are y'all together!? If I get a chance to talk about my bf, you can bet I'll start dishing out everything I love about him."
– MelanisticCrow
Hostility
"Lack of trust and constant fights."
– Lost-Championship914
"I once read that contempt is the #1 sign of a relationship on its deathbed. When partners don’t respect each other, it sets the stage for every other bad thing."
– PartySquirrel1
Breaking up is hard to do, as the song goes.
But when a relationship has been on the rocks and has turned unbearable to the point of resenting one another, there's no point in staying with the toxic situation.
Acknowledging the red flags and willingly staying in a miserable situation is not healthy.
There is always something, or someone, better out there.