Teenagers Explain What Their Parents Do That Drives Them Insane

As annoying as parents can be, their kids must remember that they're human, too, and are bound to make some mistakes along the way.

That's not to say that some parents don't do things that are especially bothersome, especially when their kids reach their teenage and adult years.

Curious, Redditor kissablecassy asked:

"Teenagers, what's something your parents do that secretly drives you insane?"

The Infamous Tally

"My mother always offers to help me, but if I let her, she brings up every individual task she's helped me with the next time she's upset and tells me I've done nothing to deserve her help or her kindness."

"Now she's angry that I never accept her help and she doesn't understand why I never take gifts from people before knowing what's expected of me in return."

- ChillNinetales

"Yeah, my mom does the same kind of thing even now that I’m an adult. She doesn’t do kind things for me out of love but instead so she can use those things against me in the future."

"All of her 'motherly' gestures come with a price. 'I helped you so now you owe me and I’ll hold it over your head' or 'I did X and Y for you so I’m allowed to treat you however I want and you’re ungrateful.'"

- vesselofenergy

The Overgeneralizations

"I work a full 40 hours a week but if I spend my Saturday playing video games, it's all I do."

- TraNSlays

"Mine were the same when I was a teenager and have gotten worse."

"When I worked really long hours during our busy season, typically 60 to 70 hours per week and finally had part of a Sunday off, I loved to turn my brain off for a bit by watching a show or playing a game."

"If my mom knew I was off during that time, she would guilt me into coming over for dinner and if I said anything about being tired she would either say, 'You don't know what tired is, try raising six kids and working full time' (No, thank you) or 'Well, I've been cooking all day, you can take some food home and relax here. Is it so tiring visiting?'"

"For f**k's sake, I'm not in the mood after a stressful week to socialize, I will have more time in a couple of months, and most importantly I need me time."

"I just resorted to lying on most of those occasions saying I have to stop by the office for a few hours."

- brokencig

Emotional Immaturity

"When I tried to talk about my feelings or the things my mom did that hurt or upset me, she just immediately turns to this distraught 'I’m such a terrible mother!'"

"And the whole conversation stops being about me, working through my issues, and listening to my emotions because I have to sidetrack to comfort HER."

- ctortan

"My mother-in-law still does this to my wife."

"It's a form of manipulation that she uses because she's not emotionally mature enough to look inward and address her own s**tty behavior and emotional hangups."

- smuggler_of_grapes

Negative Reactions

"When my parents commented negatively on anything I said or did as their first reaction. It taught me to keep secrets, tell lies, and avoid informing them of anything until right before or after it happened."

"They once wanted me to get a job, so I did. It was full-time seasonal and paid well, just a 30-minute drive. They scolded me for not finding something closer. Then they made me call my manager and apologize for wasting their time and resign."

"THEN they got mad at me for resigning and made me call back my manager and ask for my job back, all within 10 minutes. I was 16 or 17 at the time and didn't know what to do."

"The next time I got a job, I told them as I was leaving the house for the first day at work that I had gotten the job at all."

"It was really frustrating growing up and always expecting a negative reaction out of the gate."

- n0stalgicm0m

The Constant Lectures

"My father turns everything into a lecture. If I'm telling you something bad that happened, I don't always need it turned into a life lesson."

- NetLow3689

"This is one of the many reasons that I am in low contact with my mom. She could never just empathize with me. It always had to be a lecture or at the very least a comment about what I should have done differently."

- Aggressive_Emu2593

Too High Of Standards

"They've always been outwardly judgmental. I don’t ever tell my parents about my music tastes or my friends or a lot of my other interests, because I know I’m going to hear some snide comments if it’s not up to their standards."

- Dazzling_Power_5016

"I'm sorry that has been your experience."

"My dad was much the same growing up. Everything I was interested in was dumb unless he liked it. Didn't like what I watched, who I hung out with (I followed the rules and so did my friends, or at least for the most part we did. No one's perfect.), and so on."

"He did nothing to foster a relationship and actively discouraged most of the time. 'Children are to be seen and not heard' was thrown out a lot when I was bugging him."

"Now he's in is 70s and I visit a few times a year even though he lives less than a mile away and bemoans how his only child doesn't come around. I honestly just don't think about him because he and I have nothing in common. He can't carry a conversation unless it's about work, church, politics, or his various medical issues."

"Sorry, dude, but growing up I had a stronger relationship with random folks at the monthly camping club get-together."

"This is what your parents have to look forward to; indifference. A relationship has to be mutually beneficial to have any strength or longevity. Otherwise, it will wither and die."

- draeth1013

No Respect For Personal Needs

"Me: 'I want to be left alone right now.'"

"Mom and Dad assume that means I wanna talk."

- CrazyCoKids

"It always breaks my heart seeing my nephew try to use his words ('I want to be alone,' 'I want a break,' etc.) just to be ignored until he's forced to yell it ('LEAVE ME ALONE!') and then he gets punished by being sent to time out so he can 'calm down'... you know, the thing he wanted to do in the first place without being punished for it?"

"Adults can choose to leave the room or go for a walk or stop talking to people who make them uncomfortable. Kids can't. And they get punished for being upset despite having underdeveloped brains."

- amazinglyegg

Never Valuing Their Kid's Interest In The Right Amount

"If I say I like something, they make it my whole personality. Sometimes it feels like revenge, trying to burn me out on the thing."

- 4rs0nk1tten

"On the flip side of this, I asked my parents to throw me a tacky flamingo party one time."

"My mom could not get past how trashy she thought it was, so I didn’t get the flamingo party, but she has gifted me something flamingo-themed every single year since."

"I wanted one theme party. Now I have, among other things, seven yard flamingos."

- bri_like_the_chz

No Respect Or Trust

"They come into my room a lot and without warning, constantly drag conversations on to make a point, and my mom sometimes tells people personal things about me which is also annoying."

- Ok_Inevitable_6095

"I'm an adult now, but I was heavily depressed in high school. I spent my days hiding in my room, away from my parents."

"My mom once burst into my room, demanding to know what I was doing. I was in the middle of homework."

"She decided to go through my stuff, including my drawers, and suggested that she thought I was doing drugs. She was 100% serious but when she didn't find anything, she left. She never mentioned it again, and I wonder what caused her to act like that."

- sicksages

"Drugs were nowhere on my radar as a teen. I couldn't even tell you who was showing up high to school because I could not tell. Apparently, lots of my friends were, and I had no idea."

"One day when I was 15 or so, my dad out of nowhere walked up to me and said he's gonna punch me in the face if he catches me with weed."

"It was about that time I realized no matter what I did, my parents would not trust me to do the right thing. So I started living my life the way I wanted."

- AgoraphobicWineVat

Endless Unsolicited Advice

"I’m now in my 20s, but my mom started doing this when I was a teenager and still hasn’t stopped."

"She’ll start to say something by going, 'You’re probably going to get mad at me for saying this, but…' and then tell me something unnecessarily rude about my appearance or weight or current interests that is entirely unhelpful and uncalled for."

"I’ve started cutting her off and telling her that maybe she just shouldn’t say it then, but it was a lot harder to stand up to her when I was 14."

- azulweber

Too Much Commentary

"They comment on literally everything, to the point where I was scared to listen to music for years because I didn’t want my parents to comment on my music taste (which is pretty mainstream, it’s just different than theirs)."

"Whenever we meet someone, they tell me afterwards their thoughts on that person and point out if they had acne, had too long hair, wore a cropped shirt, etc."

"They view their comments as harmless observations but it causes insecurities."

"It's always made me wonder what they say about me behind my back, given what they're willing to say to my face."

- unromantical

Ongoing Demands

"Not a teenager or close, but this bugged me as a teenager - and it still bugs me now, because she hasn't stopped!"

"My mom will make suggestions that aren't suggestions at all. She'll first say it in a kind, ambiguous way. When you thank her but say it's not necessary, she'll repeat it again in a more insistent tone."

"If you decline again, it usually becomes an order (for a teenager) or as an adult, she'll just start martyring herself and making up catastrophes that will happen because I didn't take her advice."

"Needless to say, I usually wind up giving in out of frustration."

- goteachyourself

Incredibly High Standards

"They talk all the time about how smart I am. As if I were a child prodigy, a Sheldon Cooper. It bothers me because they place too many expectations on me."

- Busy_Extension1427

"Ooh, I feel you. And then I had undiagnosed ADHD that started to bother me more and more as my teen years progressed. I felt so disappointed in myself. I felt like there was some part of my brain that was capable of being very smart (I mean, where else did they get this idea of me being smart??), but it felt like there was something blocking me from actually using that part of my brain unless absolutely necessary like in panic situations."

"And I always blamed myself for not being able to be as smart as I was supposed to be in their eyes. Very frustrating."

"Try to set reasonable expectations for yourself, and remind yourself that half of people are actually below average and that there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Whether that is at certain sports or classes… You don’t have to live up to their expectations, you’re not supposed to be anything if it just isn’t what you are, no matter if it is what they want you or perceive you to be. And good luck!"

- Peachesareyummie

No Genuine Engagement

"Not a teen, but still live with my parents. There are a lot of little things that get on my nerves but the one thing that I absolutely hate is my mom asks about my day only to immediately start scrolling on her phone, completely ignoring me when I tell her."

"It's even worse when she randomly starts listening and has no idea what I'm talking about. Worst of all is when I confront her about this she always denies it."

"Also, my parents love to play videos on their phone out loud especially when I'm trying to read or watch something."

- ell_fin

An Escape Clause Everyone Needs

"I wanted to share something that actually really helped my relationship with my Mom:"

"She always said, 'If you tell me the truth, you won’t get in trouble and I won’t be mad. I’ll be mad at the situation, and I expect you to be a part of the process of making it right.'"

"This just really reinforced the idea that if something goes wrong, I should call my mom and not think, 'Oh f**k, my mom can’t find out about this.'"

"I had too many friends of mine who could only call my mom or me because 'their parents would freak,' and I still to this day count my lucky stars that my Mom is literally the sanest, most helpful person, and I’m so blessed to call her my mom."

- Da-Munyon

Parents typically want what's best for their children or they want their children to be all that they can be, but sometimes these demands on each other hurt the relationship more than they help.

From too high of standards to not really listening to their children, there are countless ways here that parents "presented" as the parents that they thought they should be, without ever really engaging and making a connection with their kids.