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decisions
Look, we're not all perfect.
Even the most accomplished people who've been granted the highest honor in various fields of work or academics have failed at one point or another, and they don't know they're making poor decisions until they look back.
It's these mistakes that allow us to learn from and move forward to be better versions of ourselves.
Curious to hear from strangers online who wish they could reverse the hands of time, Redditor LouStonk asked:
"What is your all-time biggest regret?"
People shared a range of emotional anecdotes concerning regretful moments.
Shackles Of Fear
"I was too shy and anxious to take risks when I was young, socially, career-wise. I stayed alone in my bedroom because of fear and neurosis."
"As a middle-aged adult, I continue to be alone and re-create my childhood 'safe space' with my apartment (I have a Red Bull racing flag above my bed, for example). I didn't take responsibility for my fear of rejection and my social failures."
"I avoided and continue to avoid, the reckoning, of what it has cost me. At least today, it's still too big to face. If you're under... say 30 reading this? Do yourself a favor! Go for that dream."
"Meet people. Ask her out. Travel there. Start a band. I'll pay to see you."
– A_Refill_of_Mr_Pibb
Know Your Self-Worth
"Giving my time to people that don't deserve it."
– MohimenK
"I too can relate. But remember, you're obviously a very caring and thoughtful person, don't regret sharing love."
– OP (original poster)
Valuing Family
"I could have been a lot nicer to my family especially when I was younger."
– somedoofyouwontlike
"I think to an extent, we all go through that phase. I know I did. For some of it I had my reasons, though much of it wasn't really justified. I was just being a teenage a**hole. There were two things that changed the way I treated my parents."
"It took me realizing at age 19 that my parents were in fact going to die someday. I always knew it would happen in an abstract sense but it was always just an idea that was far off and didn't seem real."
"The moment came when I was reading a book in which someone's parents died and then the true meaning sunk in. They will die someday and be 100%, totally gone. They will no longer exist. I remember sitting in the living room in the dark by myself, sobbing and crying for like 30 minutes."
"I think part of the change was just growing up and realizing that they are just people. I don't know how to describe it adequately but it was like I didn't think of them as being like me, with wishes, desires, insecurities, and fears. I think part of it is when you're a kid, they show a brave face even when they're scared sh*tless, to keep you from getting scared."
"They always seem to know what they're doing, even if they don't. My parents were the source of order amongst the chaos (I realize not everyone has that) and I think in that context, it seemed like they were different from me when in fact they aren't. It helped me to be a little kinder toward them."
"It took a few years for all of this to process. I would say by 22/23, the a**hole phase that started around 16 went away. My parents still have the ability to push my buttons like no one else, but 20 years later, I'm much better at not letting it bother me as much."
– disgruntled-capybara
Speak Your Mind
"Learning how to properly communicate later in life. I ended up making choices I regret because I failed to communicate."
– Interesting_Lab4256
Taking A Chance On Life
"My biggest regret is not taking more risks and following my dreams instead of playing it safe. I wish I had pursued my passions and pushed myself out of my comfort zone more often. It's never too late to start though, and I'm trying to make more bold choices now."
– Pretty-Deer-7045
Time is not always on our side.
Ongoing Struggle
"Not knowing what to do with my life in terms of a career This is a daily on-going regret."
– AlwaysEmilyyy
"I heard some really good advice lately basically stating 'Don't find what you love and get good at it - find what you're good at and work from there.' Too many people waste away giving their all to a pursuit that either (a) is not profitable or (b) is far too difficult to make a living doing."
"Also, it's not like your hobbies just disappear. You can still write that screenplay, paint that portrait, etc. even if you don't do it for a living. It can still fill a person up."
"This advice may not be applicable to your situation, but it seemed pertinent enough to piggyback off your comment."
– OP
No Day But Today
"Waited for a more convenient time."
"Was holding off on thanking my pharmacy manager for helping me get into pharmacy school. He unexpectedly passed a month before the semester started."
"Two years later, I started to get back in touch with a good friend. Slowly started getting feelings but I was too busy to try and catch up until the school year was over. She was hit aa drunk wrong-way driver the weekend before I was ready to ask her out for coffee."
"I've been transparent about this with my friends so they know that I'm not being impatient on purpose when wanting to hang out."
– MohaveMoProblems
These memories and decisions still haunt Redditors.
Going For The Bottle
"Losing my last job due to alcoholism. I was making 60-65k and I was so good at my job. I am an alcoholic and got a little too manic and drunk and got fired basically."
"It turned into a months long downward spiral. In and out of detox. Applied to so many jobs and even had 6 interviews for an almost identical job and....nothing."
"I'm back making 35k at a call center now. I wish I could go back and shake myself and say put the damn bottle down you're gonna lose SO MUCH money."
– RedWum
Ignoring Personal Pursuits
"Doing things to make my parents proud instead of doing things to make me happy."
– FajitaT*ts
"Or doing things your parents suggest, that you know will fail, just to say 'seeeee?' Out of spite."
– YesAndAlsoThat
Sabotaging A Relationship
"Not being mentally well enough for my ex gf. I let my imagination get the best of me and ruined our relationship."
"I miss her so much."
– HybridMoments4283
"Hey, similarly here. I think I've learnt that I shouldn't try to be well enough for ANYONE other than MYSELF."
– OP
Letting Love Go
"Breaking up with a boyfriend years ago. He was smart, he was kind, he was generous, he had many great traits and skills with no red flags, and I ended it because I thought I wanted something more exciting or challenging or whatever."
"Stupidest decision I ever made. Didn't know how good I had it."
"When we broke up he told me he was thinking about proposing and nowadays I just think about how incredible a husband and father he would be (and is almost certainly to someone else right now)."
– finnjakefionnacake
No One Is Alone
"I wish I knew when I was young that this constant anxious feeling and deep sadness had a name and it’s not normal to feel this way. Up until recently when people actually started talking about mental health I thought everyone felt this war but once I figured out I was wrong I was able to get help and feel much better."
"I’ve missed out on so many opportunities in life because of horrible anxiety so getting that figured out when I was young would have made my life so much easier and better."
– throughNthrough
Feeling regret is a sign that you have a moral compass or the clarity of knowing you could have changed an undesirable situation.
But it's also an indicator of how far you've come to realize that certain decisions were not always in your best interest.
Overall, Redditors shouldn't be too hard on themselves. Life is too short to live in the past when there's so much more to look forward to with a renewed outlook on life.
You're much more in control now than you've ever been, so keep your eyes forward, be your best self and live life to its fullest potential.
You got this.