The Stupidest Questions People Have Ever Been Asked

Is there such a thing as a stupid question?

Well, that would depend on the situation. To allay one's embarrassment, relaying there are no such things as asking dumb questions encourages people in their quest for knowledge, whether in the workplace or the classroom.

But some exceptions make people roll their eyes.

Curious to hear examples of these, RedditorqwezrX asked:

"What's the stupidest question you've ever been asked?"

The world of customer service sees plenty of face-palming moments.

Size Question

"When I worked retail and someone called into our store….they asked me what size their feet were…."

"I mean I was used to some stupid customers but WOW that phone call was something else LOL."

– jennhiltz

The Answer Is On The Menu

"(Me working at sub shop)"

"Customer: So, how big is the 7 inch sub?"

"Me: 7 inches"

– doomsuckers

Size Per Slice

"I used to work at a pizza place and some version of the below used to happen at least once or twice a shift:"

"Customer: I'm debating between the 12 inch and 16 inch pizza, how many slices do each have?"

"Me: They both have 8 slices."

"Customer: (Stares at me trying their best to figure out in their head how two different size pizzas could possibly have the same amount of slices)"

– sofingclever

What Is Meat?

"I was working at a dining hall and was asked if the pork green chili was vegan."

– Judge_Bredd3

"Or conversely, the amount of people who would ask me 'oh you can just have the salmon, right?' I don't know if it's biblical? That people don't think fish is meat? Like it came from a living being, right? So stupid."

– _oooOooo_

"Oh, since you mention salmon, this wasn’t a question, but the dumbest comment I’ve ever heard. I had a customer order the salmon. I asked her how she wanted it cooked, and said the kitchen recommended it medium, and she said 'it has to be well done, I’m allergic to shrimp.' "

"I usually try to dissuade people from ordering it well done because it gets dried out at that temp, medium is cooked through, but I just went blank when she said that. Totally dropped my customer service face, and stared at her for a good 10 seconds before I said 'I’m sorry?' ”

"She repeated 'I’m allergic to shrimp so the salmon has to be cooked well done.' Not, I’m allergic to shrimp so make sure there’s no cross contamination, no. Salmon well done because I’m allergic to shrimp. My degree is in marine science so I know shrimp and salmon are completely different phyla and aren’t related other than they both came from the ocean, so what she said made absolutely no sense, but I just nodded and said sure, we can do that."

"Let the BOH know there was a shrimp allergy and she wanted well done, they gave me the look, but they made it. And she seemed to love it."

"I think about that lady a lot."

– VelocityGrrl39

Long-Distance Calls

"If I buy a cordless phone, can I just take the handset with me when I go out of town?"

– ted_anderson

"Yes. Just don't make any long calls."

"Bonus, you won't get disturbed by someone calling you."

– deafvet68

Something Here Is Fishy

"I used to work at long john silvers. This woman would bring her husband in weekly and order a plate with 2 fish, 3 chicken and 2 sides. She would always freak out and ask why it was all on one plate, she never asked for it to be separated."

"She would scream that her husband was deathly allergic to fish, so it needed to be on a separate plate. I'm thinking why on earth are you taking your husband to eat at a fish restaurant every week?! Go to KFC!"

– Substantial_Meet7400

Do these people really know what they're talking about? Spoiler alert: No.

The Diet

"When I went vegetarian my mom’s friend asked me if I would still eat potatoes."

– jrice138

"I was at a friend's BBQ one time. His girlfriend was a 'vegetarian.' "

"Later, I saw her eating shrimp. I asked her, 'I thought you were a vegetarian?' "

"'It's okay, shrimp don't have souls,' she cheerfully informed me."

– kms2547

"The vegetarian sh*t baffles me. I want to laugh, but literally, people are so stupid. Do you eat pork? No. Do you eat chicken? No. Ugh well what CAN you eat?!?!"

"Literally anything that wasn't once breathing. There's an entire f'king world beyond chicken, Dianne."

– _oooOooo_

Recipe For Disaster

"When I was vegetarian, my ex's mom cooked a sunday dinner, finishing off the chicken in the gravy (gravy made with the chicken drippings. She then gave me a plate of veg with that very gravy poured over it, but it's ok because she made sure there was no actual chicken in it..."

– NighthawkUnicorn

Clueless Worker

"Of the many, this one springs to mind right now:"

"Had an employee once. She had to do the opening up procedure but was constantly last minute in, sometimes late. I had to put in some extra hours so at some point, I would arrive much earlier."

"One day, she comes in last minute, opens up, settles in, makes a cup of coffee, and nonchalantly stands in my doorway and asks, 'Since you're here earlier than me, would you mind opening up?' I gave her a look and didn't say anything. She left soon after."

– AnSteall

Dangerous Myth

"From a 16-year-old: Fire doesn't burn you so long as you go through it fast enough, that's why firefighters don't get burned....."

"I wanted to put my head through a wall after hearing that."

– ItsNo_Name

We do tend to speak without thinking.

The Call

"Back when I lived with my parents in the day. A relative called on our home phone landline and asked if we were at home. Stuck with me every since lol"

– BowlingTv

Mysterious Fish

"Someone once asked me 'Do fish get thirsty?' I didn’t know how to respond at first because it was both hilarious and kind of thought-provoking."

– Miaxdoll_

Does Not Compute

"I'm an Australian. When travelling in Europe, I was asked by a holidaying American couple, 'Do you have banks in Australia?' "

– dogbolter4

"My mother was English, but emigrated to Australia when she was fairly young. After she arrived, her relatives back home asked her if she had electricity."

"I used to think that was a dumb question, then I realized one day that not everyone had electricity in the UK at that time, so it was not so dumb for them wonder about Australia. And yes, she did have electricity."

"However, I do not think this argument can be extended to banks. :)"

– FrightenedOfSpoons

Elusive Color

"I’m colourblind, which is the only disability that people feel the need to test. Someone asked 'So if I painted myself green, would I be invisible?' But he was never very bright…"

– DavidXN

When I used to work at one of the happiest places on earth, I had a park guest ask me what time the 9 pm fireworks started.

I informed them it was at 9 pm, to which they thanked me.

It always made me chuckle since similar entertainment schedule-type questions were frequent.

People are there enjoying the parks, and the last thing on their minds is staying hyper-focused on anything since they're already either over-stimulated or exhausted by the end of the long, crowded, hot summer day with family.