People Explain Which Social Norms They Wish They Could Eliminate

As a person on the autism spectrum, there are so many social practices I wish would go away.

Small talk, the requirement to acknowledge everyone you know when you encounter them in public—I have prosopagnosia like a large percentage of people with ASD so I fail at this constantly, people touching me, being required to touch them even if they're strangers, being subtle or outright lying instead of saying exactly what you mean...

But even people who aren't neurodivergent have social norms that annoy or frustrate them.

Reddit user NoSpot5547 asked:

"If you could eliminate one social norm, which would it be and why?"

"No" Isn't Enough

"Having to pretend you're 'busy' to decline plans—just let me say no without making it a whole thing!"

~ Blake-Faust

"As I've gotten older, honesty is the best policy. 'Work was sh*t, my batteries are drained, I'm going to stay in tonight'."

"My friends, also older now, get it."

~ DerpsAndRags

"I am honest with my friends who respect my boundaries like this."

"For people who I know will push back or make comments, I will lie to avoid it."

"If you want people to be honest with you, you have to respect their honesty."

~ Own-Emergency2166

Insincerely Polite

"Saying things you don’t mean to be polite—such as as let’s hang out sometime or call me."

~ mrdoeth

"Then when someone follows up on that and invites them out to do something, they either decline in some way or reluctantly accept."

"So annoying."

"It took me a while to realize that you can't just take these sayings at face value."

~ MuthaBase

Do The Hustle

"The need to be busy or productive all the time."

"Hustle culture is bullsh*t, we all need and deserve rest time. It’s not lazy, it’s something we all need."

"My hobbies don’t need to be monetised or marketable in some way to be worth doing."

~ breadcrumbsmofo

We're Rolling

"Videoing every single thing you do for fake internet points has become normal."

"No one f*cking cares about a video of your lunch plate."

~ Silly_Importance_74

"All the staged/fake stuff I am seeing on YouTube and Instagram is infuriating; 'real' unstaged life is much more exciting and interesting."

~ AcedtheTuringTest

Points Of Contention

"Doing anything for internet points is just mind-blowing to me."

"I remember having a discussion about why people delete downvoted Reddit comments, and the most common answer was so they didn't lose more points."

"It's all made up and the points don't matter, guys."

~ summonsays

Vaping Etiquette

"The one bothering me most at the minute is vaping in people's faces like it's nothing."

"They'd think it was rude if it was a cigarette or cigar."

~ JPK12794

"You wouldn't blow cigarette smoke into someone's face, so I don't get why they think it's acceptable to do that with a reusable cigarette that also destroys your stomach."

~ notabigfanofas

"I always say this. As a smoker, I wouldn't dream of lighting up in someone else's house or the middle of a restaurant yet vaping is somehow alright?"

~ tocla1

"As a former smoker, the problem with vaping is that a lot of them have never experienced the shame of smoking."

"If we start shaming them for vaping inside, into people's faces, and around children, they will start doing it in the designated smoking area, where they should be vaping anyway."

~ PM_Me_UrRightNipple

Aging Beats The Alternative

"Not accepting aging as a part of life.

"20-year-old girls shouldn't be getting 'preventative botox'. And actresses showing signs of aging shouldn't lose jobs."

"'Aging like milk' used to describe people shouldn't be a saying at all. Normalize aging in general."

~ lithuanian_potatfan

"The amount of plastic surgery that young women are getting around here is sickening to me."

"Beautiful women ruining their looks to look like inflated, smooth faced aliens, is just so off putting."

~ ktatsanon

Let It Go

"That whole thing where victims (of bullying, assault or abuse) have to 'let things go' to 'keep the peace' needs to die."

"People need to stop covering for a**holes and criminals and let them face the consequences of their actions."

~ MindlessApricot8

"This is a big one for me.

"We have to stop asking people if they're 'going to ruin someone's life' by reporting what happened."

"You aren't ruining their life; they did that themselves when they chose to do something illegal, immoral, unethical or just plain sh*tty."

~ 0rangeMarmalade

Full Disclosure

"Not talking about your salary with your coworkers."

"If everyone knew what everyone else was earning, wages would go up across the board—which is exactly why it is taboo."

~ Incredible_Witness

"In most first world countries, you have a right to talk with your peers about anything you want that is work-related. Including pay."

"Your company doesn't have the right to retaliate against you for it."

~ Potential_Damage1707

Driven To Anger

"Poor driving habits, like:"

• Blocking the left lane.
• Not using turn signals.
• Speeding up to get past, only to slow down once in front.
• Speeding up to block someone from moving over.
• Blocking someone from merging onto the highway.
• Highbeams at night when not necessary.

"Poor driving habits trickle down to people gradually becoming a**holes to each other. We are in our own little bubble while driving."

~ Mrcommander254

Inmates Running The Asylum

"Letting kids act like psychotic inmates in public and at school."

"Because it's super disruptive and ruins everybody else's time, and is sometimes dangerous, and does not bode well for the kids as adults."

~ ScoutieJer

"I don't know if it’s a parenting change or what."

"I attended a wedding and saw parents were letting their kids run and scream while the bride and groom were giving speeches."

"I thought that was insane."

~ ohyoufancyhuh92

When Are You Going To...

"Expecting people to be in a relationship, and questioning single people about why they're single. All it does is makes single people feel inadequate."

~ DeathSpiral321

"I have been single for probably 98% of my life, it's just a universal destiny I have accepted."

"That being said, some of the relationships I have seen, I am thankful I am single; I think it's much worse to go home to a miserable unhappy 'union' than not being with someone."

~ AcedtheTuringTest

"Being told I was too picky when I was single for years absolutely boiled my blood."

"It doesn't count as 'too picky' if you're perfectly willing to accept staying single, in my opinion."

"So no, I was not 'too picky'. I had strong ideas about what I wanted out of a relationship and what I didn't want and was perfectly happy to have no relationship at all if having one meant accepting sh*t I didn't want."

~ Haiku-On-My-Tatas

"In my engineering accounting class there’s a rule to always include 'no action' as a contingency."

"Is bridge A or bridge B better is a flawed question because it should be is Bridge A, Bridge B, or no bridge at all better."

"Being single just means there hasn’t been an option that is better."

~ ScreeminGreen

Gotta Post This

"Oversharing online."

"When you're taking pictures of your child or other loved one all tubed up in a hospital bed and posting them online, you should really stop, have a think about what the f*ck you're doing, slap yourself and don't do it."

~ RodLUFC

Repress Yourself

"I would eliminate the social norm that discourages open conversations about mental health."

"If we could talk about our struggles without stigma, more people would seek help when they need it, and we'd foster a society that's more understanding and supportive."

~ iiJinn

"Get rid of the stigma around taking mental health days."

~ Necessary_Debt_2491

Fast Fashion

"Always needing to have new, fashionable clothing that you cannot wear repeatedly."

"This is slowly starting to change, but people still look askance if you wear the same thing more than once within a short amount of time even though plenty of people have a washer and could easily wash something overnight and wear it again the next day."

"Fast fashion causes a lot of harm."

~ AlishaV

"This one is the one social norm that I actively choose to not care about."

"I work in an office, this norm exists, however I put together a 'uniform' and wear a variation on the exact same outfit every single day."

"If someone were to share an opinion on it, I think my only response would be "Why do you care about what I'm wearing when there are actual things to do?'."

~ carpaii

What's a social norm you want to see eliminated?