For generations, people have been told to follow social structures that nowadays feel silly.
Sorry Emily Post, but you're a tad out of touch.
Why does it matter what fork I use first?
Why are there so many stupid forks to begin with?
Just chew with your mouth closed and don't get so drunk you fall asleep at the table.
Redditor AirDesk wanted to discuss the "rules" of social norms that can drive people crazy, so they asked:
"What’s a common social etiquette rule you just don’t agree with?"
Eat It!
"Not taking the last piece of food on a sharing platter. The number of times I’ve seen a perfectly good piece of garlic bread go cold and get thrown away…"
- Equivalent-Lemon2742
Hungry Love Island GIF by PeacockTVGiphy
You got something right there...
"I have NEVER understood why people are afraid to tell someone else they have food in their teeth or something on their face. I’m going to be more embarrassed if I get home and see the lipstick on my teeth. And I’m going to be annoyed with you for not mentioning it!"
- werewedreaming316
"The rule I've heard for this is that if it's something they can do something about in like 15 seconds, tell them, otherwise ignore it. So like, tell someone that they have food in their teeth or their flies down because those are usually easy to fix. But don't tell someone they missed a spot straightening their hair or that there's a stain on their sleeve (that didn't just happen) because they can't really do anything about it in that moment."
- carebear5287
Dark Cherries
"I sat on a chocolate-covered cherry at a picnic while wearing white shorts. Did anyone tell me at the time, including my boyfriend? No. It just looked like a s**t myself and had a blowout period."
- OverSwan3444
Do Better!
"I despise that it's more socially acceptable to BE an a**hole than it is to call someone out for being an a**hole. It's like when someone's being publicly rude, people would rather just ignore it and look the other way than say 'Hey buddy you're being a d**k to everyone around you, knock it the hell off.'"
- TomPalmer1979
"Especially when it comes to rude customers! I wish more people would speak up when they see someone being rude to hospitality and retail staff."
- Kpool7474
Just Take It!
"When you offer someone something, and they say no, even though they want it, and you need to keep offering it to them until it's socially acceptable for them to take it."
- SimsPocketCamp
"My mother grew up in Asia, she will always offer me something several times after I've said no. Used to drive me nuts until I realized it's probably a cultural thing. She probably would refuse something she wanted herself first to be polite, then wait for the second or third ask before partaking. Now that I've realized that, it still drives me nuts."
- the_30th_road
"YES! I have offered the rest of my food to my partner, he will say no. I'll explain that I'm done and there isn't enough to save (a few bites left) so I'm going to discard it if he doesn't want it. He still says no."
"Then when he sees me discarding it, suddenly he wants the food! Just take the stuff if you want it, don't waste my time!"
- dandelionlemon
Still Alive
"Asking 'How are you?' and expecting a standard lie in response."
- probablynotreallife
"I have started saying 'The horrors persist, but so do I' at work."
- CamBearCookie
Checking In How Are You GIFGiphy
Decisions. Decisions.
"Putting cutlery at the beginning of buffet tables. I do not know which utensils I need until I am done selecting all of my food and they are awkward to carry while filling my plate with said food. It belongs at the end and I die on this hill."
- aphrodora
"Oh, I get irrationally irritated at buffets. Mostly at family get-togethers."
"Put the food out in order of operations and have room so you can set your plate down! You can't hold your plate, lift the crock pot lid, and the serve yourself. You need a 3rd freaking hand. And for the love of Pete have a designated spot for the spoon to rest once you put the lid on."
"Don't put the buns at the end when it's hamburgers and hotdogs at the beginning with the condiments in between."
- jsat3474
$$
"Not putting the salary on the job advert."
- CMDR_Crook
"Worse is when they post a range, have the interview, and then act shocked when you say you want that salary range. My last job acted like I was demanding something completely unreasonable when I picked a figure in the middle of their advertised range."
"When I pointed out that they had listed the job at that pay scale, they sputtered and tried to ask me to 'be reasonable.' I just sat there in stunned silence until they reconsidered."
"It was a great negotiating tactic I didn't even mean to use. I just couldn't process why they'd post a job and a pay scale and then pretend to be shocked I was asking for something in that range."
"When the hiring manager came in and said 'So I hear you think we're hiring at (bottom of the pay range)?' I just responded that 'the job was advertised at (top of the range), so of course I understood that was in the ballpark of what you were offering. Is the company no longer able to make that payroll commitment?'"
"It's just a stupid song and dance to avoid treating employees fairly."
- LostDogBoulderUtah
No Touching
"Having kids hug/embrace every single person even though they don't know them at a social family gathering."
- Existing_Ad4473
"This is one of the key things that teaches kids a few problematic behaviors, from that their personal boundaries don’t matter and that their consent has limitations. If we want to teach children about consent, we need to respect every aspect of consent and bodily autonomy, starting with not forcing them to hug or even shake hands with anyone they don’t want to."
- purpleblossom
Broken Bones
"People, usually men, mistake the notion of a firm handshake to mean squeezing the f**k out of your hand."
- imfamousoz
"I once read a Choose Your Own Adventure book where I made a wrong choice and the Space Emperor had such a strong handshake that he ripped my whole arm off and I bled to death in front of his evil throne. I won't let that happen to me again so you'll just have to deal with it, pal."
- nzodd
Season 7 Nbc GIF by The OfficeGiphy
Peace Out
"I'm a big fan of the Irish Goodbye."
- djauralsects
"I love people who do this when I host because sometimes the people who announce it start a goodbye train and then suddenly everybody is gone. I also prefer it as a guest."
- Ageisl005
"Wow never thought of this benefit. I do Irish exits because otherwise, it turns into a whole procession, like a mini speed round cocktail party of goodbyes. I often mention to the host that I will be Irish exiting at some point so it was good to see them.
- alligator-sunshine
Give Cash
"People getting pissy if you don’t open their gift right in front of them at the party."
"People bringing gifts even if the invite specifically said 'NO GIFTS.'"
"Obligatory gift giving in general."
- redheadedjapanese
Merry Christmas Gift GIF by Pudgy PenguinsGiphy
Goodbye Notes?
"Sending thank you notes to people who attended your loved one’s funeral. You already have enough on your plate, plus you’re grieving. It doesn’t make any sense to me."
- ReasonableAgency7725
"Oh wow, is this a thing?! In Ireland, you don’t only not do this but after a bereavement, you’re not expected to send Christmas cards, thank people for birthday cards, or anything. You’re just given support."
- Girlinawomansbody
"It sure isn't one I had ever heard of, right up until my mom sent me one for attending my own grandfather's funeral. So it was extra freaking weird. 'Thank you for the well wishes for our grieving family' like wtf I am one of the ones grieving too?? My grandma, dad, and uncles were the only ones closer in the grief circle, my cousins, brothers and I were more crushed than my mom!"
- Atharaenea
Quiet!
"Forcing conversation when faced with a moment of silence."
- meowmgmt
"This is why work drives me up a wall sometimes. I can be working in complete silence and customers or visitors feel the need to try to have a full-blown conversations or yap sessions and do not pick up the social cue of curt, short answers while I continue to work means 'I don't want to have a random conversation with you or listen to you yap. Please leave and let me work in peace.'"
"Had one lady follow me around for a good 10+ mins all across the store just yapping as I was trying to restock products. I think I only said two or three sentences that entire time she did that."
"Then there is the bus. You can literally be reading a book with large headphones on and random strangers feel the need to tap on you to try to have a conversation despite you clearly trying to ignore them and read in peace."
- Many_Adhesiveness_43
Truth Be Told
"I hate the idea that you can't talk about your salary with co-workers. There is 0 reason behind this besides the business not wanting people to know what others are making so they can keep paying lower for some."
- xDWizZz
"Absolutely. I had a coworker at a previous job who told me he was making $12 an hour. I'd been hired into the same position at $15 an hour the year before (was promoted with a raise shortly before this). I told him this and it gave him some leverage later on (he did not rat me out)."
- Scared_Ad2563
A Bad Look
"Being 'fashionably late.' The party is at 7, why is everyone showing up at 8-9? I find it so rude."
- Gothic_Nerd
"One time I went to a party that started at 6."
"I arrived at 6:30 and was the first one there. I arrived before the host."
- FallenSegull
Rupauls Drag Race Reaction GIFGiphy
But these social norms just seem ridiculous at this point.
If you don't like me because I take the last piece of pizza, then so be it.
Mama likes her pizza, but she won't apologize.
Now, being late?
I'm working on it.
But I'll never be part of that "being on time is late" cult.
Just be kind to others in public.
Problem solved.
Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.