When we think of healthy relationships, a lot of times, we think of the grand gestures and the big, non-negotiables, like both people being career-driven or wanting to have children.
But the things that can make or break a relationship are often the little things, the small gestures that remind someone that you love them and are thinking of them.
Because after all, the opposite of love isn't hate. It's indifference.
Taking notes, Redditor SuspiciousAddendum40 asked:
"What's a small, everyday gesture that means a lot in a relationship?"
Tidy and Give Thanks
"Tidying up your shared space without seeking recognition for it."
"How do you feel after noticing your partner made the bed or does the dishes?"
- TheDadThatGrills
"But on the flip side, always offer that recognition, because it costs you nothing to say thank you."
- boredomspren_
"I agree!! Don’t save the 'thank you's for only the big stuff, you and your partner should be thanking another for the little things too. It makes such a huge difference!"
- Kotoriichi
"My partner and I don't live together, but every time they stay at my place, they make the bed in the morning. They know I like it tidy, and it just gives me such a lovely feeling every time knowing that they went out of their way to do that just for me."
- fleetingboiler
Give Your Full Attention
"Honestly, just putting your phone down when they’re talking. It’s the little things."
- sweetyBooby21
"I’ve tried explaining to my husband that just sitting together on the sofa when he is scrolling his phone isn’t my idea of quality time."
- IcySetting2024
"My love language is sending memes and funny cat videos though. It feels like bonding even though we're sitting on the sofa both looking at our phones."
"But I get what you mean. If he's the only one on the phone and he's not interacting with you, that's not quality time."
- Mom_is_watching
"What a world we live in if NOT scrolling your phone while talking to your loved one is considered a 'meaningful gesture.'"
- onebraincellperson
Just Listen
"Listen. Just... listen."
- AlwaysSalamander
"This is an underrated one, yet one of the fundamentals."
- iAstraSeneca
"Related to this, remember things that they say, like things they like, want to try, and surprise them with it later."
- Gerrylovesgym
Help With Something When You Don't Have To
"I work in a dive bar. My boyfriend will come down, rain, shine, or snow, whether it's 1:00 AM or 3:00 AM, and help me close. He will come down if I have customers or if it's empty."
"He doesn't like the idea of me being here alone that late, especially with some of the strangers that pass through town. It's not a form of control, either. It's sweet, and it makes me feel safe."
- JellyBeanBonanza29
A Meal Can Make All The Difference
"One time, my fiancée cried because I made her a quesadilla without her asking."
- turokzelda
"My boyfriend woke me up this weekend to a coffee in bed and I was on cloud nine! (Do I drink coffee often? Nope! Almost never. But you best believe I drank every drop!)"
- glamamphetaminesweat
"My girlfriend and I don't live together just yet, but we do spend a vast majority of our time together at my house, because my house is closer to both of our workplaces, there's more to do nearby, and she also still lives with her mom. So my house is just naturally better for us."
"Being my house, though, I do the vast majority of the cooking. I use my groceries and plan and cook any of the meals we ever eat at home... Being a caretaker and making sure you're fed and comfy is basically how I show affection though, so I don't mind."
"But every now and then she'll plan a meal, pick up the groceries, and bring them over and we'll cook it together. Or she'll even make it herself for me... which just helps ease the burden of always having to be the host."
"Having a meal made for me in my own home is the kind of thing I only imagine getting when I'm filthy rich and can afford a personal chef. So I appreciate it SOO much whenever she does that for me."
- wallyTHEgecko
Sincerely Check In
"Checking in. 'How's your day? Any problems? Anything you want to get off your chest?'"
"Being sincere and listening goes a long way."
- AudibleNod
"Little gestures can really change the mood in a relationship. For me, it’s when my partner sends a random text just to check in or shares something funny they saw. It shows they’re thinking about me, even in the middle of their day."
"Those small moments help remind us that we care for each other, and they make the everyday stuff feel special. It's the simple things that build a strong bond."
- Party-Company-2110
Do Your Part
"Doing your part… If the trash is full, take it out. Who cares whose turn it is?"
"If you’re both hungry, cook, pick something up, suggest a delivery, just feed yourselves..."
"Basically, just do your part of whatever needs to be done that day for you, for your partner… just show up! Be someone your partner can rely on."
"I guarantee if you did this, in most relationships, this would eliminate maybe 70% of relationship issues."
- iiam_Human
"Paying attention and doing stuff without having to be asked."
"Laundry basket full? Do a load of laundry. Dirty plates in the sink? Clean them. Trash or recycling full? Take it out. A few things on a grocery list? Step out and grab them."
"If you see an ad for a TV show/song/thing they like, remember it for later."
- JealousArt1118
Never Stop Doing The Cute Things
"Tips from the three cutest relationships I've seen:"
"When your significant other comes home, stop what you're doing and greet them."
"Make your significant other a hot cuppa coffee/tea and bring it to them in bed (if that's where they like to morning lounge)."
"Tell them how much you like them/something about them and make it an ongoing thing. My sister jokes about how much she likes her husband's butt. She does silly exaggerated things like say, 'Daaa*n, I hate for you to leave, but I love to watch you goooo.'"
- False-Impression8102
"I don't do it every day. But every few weeks, I'll slip in a cute note with my wife's lunch when she has to go into the office."
- domlemmons
Share Snacks
"Sharing snacks while binge-watching is a big deal?? It’s like saying you care without actually saying it, ya know?"
- oheartlixi
Don't Forget The Little Kisses
"I wake up before my husband. When he eventually comes downstairs and gives me a good morning kiss, it means the world to me."
- krisanthemum1974
"I refuse to leave for work in the morning without giving my wife a kiss on her cheek or forehead before I get out of bed. I get up at 5:00 AM, a few hours before her. I also refuse to go to bed without giving her a kiss. It's the little things."
- I_Was_Inverted991
Make Intentional Contact
"Eye contact. Really looking at someone, like you’re trying to memorize them. Passion. Making them feel wanted. Squeeze on them. Kiss them and mean it. Intention."
- tresjoliesuzanne
"Without words, a simple touch as you stand next to one another or a slight brush as you walk by. It is a personal touch that says I love you."
- GirlinMichigan
Don't Forget The Little Loves
"My husband puts our little dog that sleeps in a crate in bed with me after taking him out to go potty before leaving for work. The little dog can’t be trusted in bed with us all night but he is great to cuddle while I wake up or doze off for a bit longer."
"I return the favor on the weekends when I wake up before my husband. I also like to try to catch my husband just starting to wake up and then let all the dogs in to 'wake him up.' He loves having all the pups jump into bed and try to play with him."
- yeahreddit
Practice What You Preach
"Listening, being understanding, respecting the other person, and the cherry on top, putting the phone down when together."
"Also, I believe you should be the type of partner you want for yourself first. For example, if you want a caring and loyal partner, inculcate those habits first in yourself, and it'll attract the same energy."
- Curious-One-44
Create A Fresh Start
"Every night, my partner sets out a mug, plate, and knife for me so I can easily make matcha and toast in the morning without having to fumble in the cabinets."
"Every morning, it makes me smile and feel loved and cared for. I get to start the day being reminded that I am loved by a solid-a** human."
- helicopteraresexy
Keep Complimenting Them
"My boyfriend compliments me every day. He always asks me how my day was and how I'm doing. He messes with me a lot like always little jokes and playfulness like tickling/wrestling (gently though)."
"He lets a favorite song of mine play on the radio, even though he hates it, and he still doesn't mind me singing to it. He always shares food and drinks with me. He's always trying to make sure I eat and drink enough. He takes me thrifting, even though it's not his favorite to spend time with me."
"There's much more, but that's just a little bit I wanted to share."
- Hallucinationsyren
"When my wife tells me about something good that she either did or something good that happened to her, I tell her sincerely how proud I am of her for either what she did or for who she is (which would lead to whatever good happened to her). It's usually complimenting an action or a character trait she has."
- Aide-Subject
This was such a heartwarming and wholesome conversation, largely because it's impressive how much a small, sweet gesture can make a difference. Though it might not feel like a big act to perform, it can mean the world to the other person, and to the overall relationship.
