Having a baby brings excitement and joy to any family, but it can also cause drama, and in some cases even breed resentment.
That's what happened with one young pregnant woman whose sister-in-law felt the 25 year old should have waited her turn.
The young woman took to Reddit -- under the name "popsiclesandwaddles" -- to ask "Am I the A**hole" for demanding an apology from her sister-in-law (SIL.)
The Original Poster's (OP) story begins with the circumstances of her new pregnancy.
"I'm (25F) currently 28 weeks pregnant. I was dating the father but we broke up for various reasons and he has chosen not to be in the baby's life. I'm doing the best I can to get by. I currently live with my parents, paying them rent and working."
Right away, the other major players are introduced, and with them... the drama.
"My older brother (27M) got married last year and I don't exactly get along with my SIL, but not for lack of trying."
"When I announced my pregnancy, none of my family was exactly thrilled, but they rallied around me and were supportive. My SIL has made comments like 'are you sure you're ready?' and 'I would've gotten an abortion.' The first didn't bother me so much but the second sort of did."
"I ended up just writing it off as, we all have different reactions to an unplanned pregnancy."
Despite her decision to take the high road, a recent moment stirred the pot again.
"Recently, my mom was FaceTiming with my brother and SIL as she made dinner. I was in the living room and could hear the conversation, but wasn't paying attention until I heard my mom mention something about the baby."
"Then my SIL said, 'It's not fair,' and my mom asked what she meant. And my SIL said, 'That she's giving the family the first grandchild before us. We're married, it should've been us. She stole our spotlight.' "
"Now, I had talked to my brother when I got pregnant about him and SIL having kids. He said they weren't trying for another few years. And that tracked with what SIL has always said about wanting to be in her 30s before she has kids."
"So, it's not like they're trying and can't. She's just mad that I got pregnant before they wanted to."
"This hurt. My mom defended me, my brother didn't. He was quiet."
This was one step too far. She couldn't continue biting her tongue after this instance.
"I told my mom I overheard and she told my brother. He tried reaching out to defend SIL but all he said was that I had to see why she would want to have the first grandbaby."
"I just said until she apologized and he learns to stick up for his sister, I'm not speaking to either of them."
She has received some push back from other family members, but feels sure of where she stands.
She consulted Reddit with a simple question.
"My dad says I'm being unfair and causing family drama, that I should just forgive and move on. I say no. I'm seriously debating if I want her around my kid unless she apologizes."
"Am I being an a**?"
A majority of the Reddit de facto jury took her side. They assured her that she was not "the a**hole" in this story.
Many were stuck on her sister-in-law's initial responses to the pregnancy.
"Honestly after the abortion comment I would have cut her off." -- prple_ppl_eater
"She wanted you to have an abortion so that she could have the first grandchild??? Good luck to your brother." -- Soccerlover55
"How dare she suggest you should get an abortion that's very personal." -- hannahbnana
A few comments called out the sister-in-law for acting like the child in this scenario.
"SIL clearly isn't ready for children until she can learn not to act like one herself. This is a human life we're taking about- stealing the spotlight?"
"They're seriously pissed at you for getting more attention? What the actual f*ck?" -- Thick-Durian
"Bringing a child into this world isn't a competition, the fact that she is discussing her future children in such terms is pretty reprehensible." -- FreeDependent9
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Many were right there with the OP.
"Regarding your father.. I'm sick of hearing people say 'just forgive and move on' when it has nothing to do with them! He wants you to move on because your feelings are inconvenient and that attitude is ridiculous!"
"Internet strangers have your back so don't back down!" -- polite-potato
"I've moved on to being so frustrated by your father! Seriously he's telling you to forgive and move on because you're feelings are inconvenient and makes things hard for him. Booo Dad." -- GenOneEdison
Others, after being sure to express their support for her position, elaborated on ways she could continue on with this particular family dynamic.
After all, these people will very likely remain in her life for awhile.
"Your SIL is a lunatic, however, she is your family now (unfortunately) and if you can smile and move on, it will be better for everyone involved."
"In general, when you are in a family dispute with someone who is an absolute asshole, you come off much better if you just rise above it and let it slide."
"If she improves as a human being, then you were the generous sister who let her early mistakes slide. And if she suuuuuuuuucks in the long term, well, you were never anything but nice to her but listen to this whole list of horrible things she's done!" -- AliMcGraw
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"It's obnoxious but you'll be better received from others if you just ignore her. Just some real life advice.
"You're family sees her bullshit and they will talk about her behind her back and you don't want to be on the same level. Is it fair? No. But it's life." -- FoxesInSweaters
And finally, a comment or two advised that she fight drama with drama.
"Name the kid after one of your parents maybe one of those great 'the oldest man of every generation has this name' kind name."
"She wants to b*tch about you stealing the spot light. Girl steal it with both hands. This is your family she's a late addition." -- Kantotheotter
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Only time will tell what kind of family parties and dinners this child can expect.
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