Masculinity is a societal concept. The proof is that it isn't universally defined—what's masculine in one culture isn't in another.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with masculinity unless it's based on misogyny, violence, or intimidation. Unfortunately, some people think that's what being a man is all about.
People who think this way are promoting a toxic form of masculinity based on their own inadequacies and insecurities.
A secure person doesn't need to belittle or demean others to feel superior.
Reddit user Excellent-Creme-9646 asked:
"What's a good sign a dude is secure in his masculinity?"
Cobra Who?
"Calm and collected. Doesn't lash out at the slightest of provocation."
"Doesn't call himself an 'alpha male'. Doesn't put others down to seem better. Takes responsibility when he f*cks up. Humble."
"God, I do not miss being a teenager. All of these are basically the opposite of a guy I knew in high school. From what I hear from mutual friends, he hasn't changed much."
~ Hyp3r45_new
4CHAN Who?
"He doesn’t take advice about being a man from online forums."
~ SkunkApe_In_DaWoodz
Minivan
"He drives a minivan, and doesn't give a f*ck what anyone else thinks."
~ bobchin_c
Non-conforming
"He doesn't feel the need to conform with something just because it's traditionally 'masculine' if he doesn't want to."
~ sunbearimon
Kindness
"You have to be strong to be a man because it takes great strength to be genuinely kind. The hallmark of a true man is kindness."
"All manliness springs from kindness. Yes.....even courage."
~ gnique
No Validation Needed
"He doesn’t particularly care about other people’s definitions of masculinity."
~ Amiiboid
Feminine Side
"They embrace a little femininity. Seriously."
"A guy who's insecure will never even joke in a way that could make them seem slightly feminine for the duration of the joke. A guy who's secure will felate their breakfast burrito because it makes the first guy uncomfortable."
"The point is that one of the ways you can tell if a guy is secure is that they have no problems doing things that are traditionally seen as very unmanly. I am not saying this is the only form it takes."
"I am not saying they feel they have to do this to prove something—the entire point is the opposite—they do not feel the need to prove something so they aren't limiting themselves to only stuff that curates a traditionally manly persona."
~ thisremindsmeofbacon
Ignore Stereotypes
"My dad was a stay-at-home father and worked part-time nights and weekends. Completely against traditional norms in the 90s-2000s (especially in the south)."
"I remember growing up, kids would say that my dad was really my 'mom' and would poke fun at him taking on that role."
"But he knew my mom loved her career, and his career was long long hours so something had to give. And he sacrificed his career."
"To me there’s nothing more masculine than putting your partner and family first, regardless of what is traditional or what others think."
~ Upset_Theory_9676
Friendly
"He's friendly to everyone. Doesn't feel the need to act tough and intimidating."
~ Imma_Walnut
Let It Go
"Not having to play tit-for-tat or having to get even for every real or perceived slight. Road ragers, talking specifically to you."
~ towinem
Like Water Off A Duck's Back
"Not being so obsessed with 'disrespect'. Being able to let it roll off your back when someone slights you, and not having to have a loud confrontation about it."
"That doesn’t mean be a pushover or never stand up for yourself. All I’m saying is, when the drunk guy at the bar stumbles into you, no need to get into a bar fight."
"Don’t scream at the jerk who steals your parking spot. Pick your battles—not everything is an affront to your masculinity."
~ thrwy_111822
SAHD
"I'm planning on being a stay-at-home Dad. It just makes sense when my partner earns more than me and is career-driven."
"Some of my mates were giving me sh*t that I'm not a man if I'm not providing for my family. I honestly couldn't care if that's what they think."
"I imagine a lot of men would jump at the opportunity to be a stay at home Dad."
~ KeyMastodon6
Not Overly Competitive
"He doesn't need everything to be a competition, especially with women."
"He's just fine with women who are smarter than he is and who make more money, and he's perfectly happy to listen to them without needing to try to talk over them to preserve his ego."
~ Hugh_Biquitous
Confidence
"Confidently expressing yourself, wherever you land on the spectrum of masculinity/femininity. That’s peak to me."
~ Knff
Crying
"Crying once in awhile."
"And being a tough guy once in awhile."
~ Bitter-Moose5311
Well, what do you think, friends?
