Self love can come in all different shapes and sizes. However, self love requires practice and sometime a cheat sheet. This woman shares her secret to feel sexy by wearing cute outfits and flirting.
Dressing in miniskirts and fake leopard print, Eva Chapman is an expert in empowerment through role play. She is the author of the book Sexy at 70.
Her journey focused on creating her alter ego. A raunchy Russian bargirl paid to entertain the patrons called Tatiana.
“In my sixties it was like I had a second sexual awakening," she said.
“I was always a sexy woman, but when the menopause came, it was horrible. I went into a big decline and, for five or six years, I felt miserable. I was like a husk."
“I felt as barren as a pig's bladder and as if my days as a sexual being were over. I was still having sex, but I was just going through the motions. I didn't have any 'oomph'."
“I tried everything to get it back, from herbal remedies such as horny goat weed – used to help men with erectile dysfunction – to yam pills, which are meant to help ease menopausal symptoms, but they failed me," Chapman continued.
But, she gave a whole new meaning to pensioner power by becoming a “rampant flirt."
Since then, not only has she adopted her Russian alter ego, but she has also become a "granfluencer," after posting sexy videos of her dancing online and building a following of 11,000 fans on Instagram.
Her lifestyle change was needed after a woman was flirting with her husband.
“She did me a favor," Chapman said.
“I thought, 'No way is she going to get him!' And, just like that, my sexuality came back with a bang. I gave myself a kick up the bum and I became a rampant flirt in my late 60s."
“It was a spiritual awakening, which opened me up to new experiences and allowed me to accept and love myself completely," she added.
And her husband was her biggest fan when it came to honing her flirting skills. He accompanied her to parties and throwing their own at home, so she could practice her technique.
“Before my 60s, I was not good at flirting, because I was not owning my sexuality, " she said. “Once I'd accepted and learned to love myself completely, it started to come naturally."
“I also watched my husband a lot and he's a good flirt. When he got rejected he just shrugged it off. I learned to move on from rejection really quickly, whereas before I'd been really scared of it."
“I was amazed at how many young men flirted back. If I saw a sexy guy I'd have the courage to go up to him and I was never like that when I was younger, I did not have the courage to say, 'I really fancy you.'"
“But I always put boundaries in place, which the men like, too. It never goes further than flirting," she explained.
“I will sexy dance with young men at parties, but that is as far as it will go. They see Jake give me a big hug and they know I'm with him."
“I have had some amazing flirts with men in their 20s, who love it. They follow me around like puppies. It's a boost for their egos."
“It's to do with energy. If you have that glint in your eye, it makes you feel alive. I even flirt with the Sainsbury's delivery driver," she continued.
“My husband fully embraces it. He has lots of guys coming up to him saying, 'Your wife is gorgeous,' so it makes him feel good, too."
To enhance her flirting, instead of thinking of herself as a sexy 73-year-old, in she pictures herself as a beautiful young Russian who goes to bars and picks up men.
By imagining herself as this alter ego, dressing up in skimpy outfits and performing sexy dances for her husband and her fans on Instagram comes naturally.
“On the inside, I'm a Russian bargirl called Tatiana wearing skimpy gold shorts," she explained.
“I remember, when I was 64, my husband saying, 'We've been together for 35 years and you've never performed a sexy dance for me.'"
“But I had a lot of outfits from my partying days, so I started putting them on and he wanted to jump on me within five minutes!," she laughed.
“He says I shine when I'm sexy and my wrinkles do not matter."
“I have been blessed with good legs, but I hated them for years. – until I was 58 when I went to a couple of parties wearing short skirts and people liked them. Now I love them too," she said.
Chapman is happy to give advice on staying sexy to her many Instagram fans.
“Some women have contacted me on Instagram and I've told them how to get into character and feel sexy doing it," she said.
“It's important to keep your sexual relationship alive, because it's about intimacy between you and another person, and keeping a rapport is really important."
At first, Chapman worried about people's reactions on Instagram but she has been pleasantly surprised by the response.
“I thought they would ask, 'How can a woman over 70 be sexy?'" she said.
“But the response has been amazing. People think it's great fun. There are so many women who feel inspired by it."
Many even try to slide into her DM's.
“I had a whole football team after me on Instagram. They told me they love my dances and invited me to dance before their football match as a mascot, but my husband put a stop to that!" she continued.
“One of the guys still talks to me and says I've inspired him to go out with older women."
Chapman runs a website offering relationship advice. She also addresses society's double standards with women being sexy as they age.
“You look at some of the attitudes to older women showing off their cleavage and we just don't like it," she said.
“There are some countries, like Italy, where older, sexy women are feted, but it's rare and I want to change that. Helen Mirren is one of my inspirations, as she is sexy."
“I've had women contact me and say, 'I can't be sexy like you,' but I tell them they need to be sexy in their own way," she said.
“I never want to give up my sexual self and I know people who are in their 90s who feel the same. Sex is part of life and you do not have to get rid of it as you get older."
Chapman has now written four books both fiction and non-fiction.
“Some friends have been really upset by Sexy at 70 and think the way I flirt is outrageous," she admitted.
“I think many women my age have given up their own sexuality, because it's too much like hard work to keep their intimate relationship alive. It's easier to compromise and become companions."
“But while I know not everyone is as sexual as me, if you have a smidgen of raunchiness, it's important to keep it going. "
Chapman also worries that many women stop feeling feminine and desirable after the menopause.
“Do not bury it because it's seen as inappropriate to be a sexy girl. This is what I try and get across in my book Sexy at 70. It's easy to say, 'That's really inappropriate. Just draw your pension and shut up and don't be who you are.'"
“But I say, 'Dare to be who you are and enjoy it!'"
For more information follow Eva on Instagram @Sizzling70s and to buy her book visit Amazon or her relationship website here
Jane Rosenberg
Jane Rosenberg
