Life isn't like the movies.
*The following article contains discussion of suicide/self-harm.
Reddit user, u/RjayPL, wanted to hear how you've moved on from those terrible days when they asked:
People who got bullied their whole life. How are you now?
Not everything is going to be easy. Actually, having a bully is one of the quickest ways to develop social and emotional issues in life.
Anger At Everything
"Filled with suppressed rage"
"Lately I've been getting less mentally stable than before, going back and forth between perfectly fine and hit by a severe wave of insecurities/depression (not literally depression but whatever). I've noticed that I'm becoming more easily irritable and developing anger issues"
Always Needing The Good Compliments
"Very self-conscious and hyper-sensitive to criticism. Constantly seeking approval."
"I generally despise social pecking orders and status hierarchies, while secretly wanting to be at the top of them."
"Sexually promiscuous as a means to receive validation."
The Result Of Everything
"It caused my depression, social anxiety and probably a host of other mental issues. I plan on finally getting therapy next year. Not doing so well at the moment."
Moving Back Home
"Have had a major depressive period that made me fail my university education, i have no friends and no romantic partner. Basically im 26 and working a minimum wage job while still living with my parents"
"Same here. Bullied as a kid, have had anxiety and self esteem issues since then. Now I'm 26, dropped out of university and living with my parents. It sadly happens to more of us than we think."
Mostly, there's a lot of social tics you have to learn to live with. While not all of them are socially crippling, there are a few that can be a bit of a hindrance for your life going forward.
Never Quite Sure Who They're Laughing At
"Social awkwardness and poor self esteem"
"...it's quite comforting to know I'm not the only one, it's been 10+ years now since I've last been bullied, and I'm slowly working on myself, having close friends and family helps alot."
"I still have trouble being in social environments and always second questioning if I'm ever enough. Like some have also said, I always fear that I'm getting laughed at, or just judged, but I'm slowly getting better. I hope everyone here is also able to get better, cause you're all special and amazing people! Love you all!"
Doing Something With All Those Negative Feelings
"Bullied as a kid. Started lifting. Realised I was so much more than what I was made to believe. Probably smarter and definitely better looking than bullies as of 2021. Happy as f-ck."
Feeling Like You Don't Fit In Anywhere
"Sometimes I try and figure out what's wrong. Surely if people didn't like me for some reason I could change? But then I try to love myself more, be more assertive and confident. Then that comes off as cocky and aggressive. Sometimes I think my friends secretly hate me, but I try to be chill in social situations and pretend like I'm not ridiculously conscious all the time."
"Honestly I'm just getting by and fighting any of these sh-tty thoughts but at the same time I do miss feeling genuinely liked without worrying about someone talking sh-t about me or making fun of my personality and interests. It sucks when it comes from your family too. Feeling like you never fit in anywhere, or people leaving you all the time really f-cks with my mental health and it hasn't been very good recently."
Not everything needs to be so bad, though. Sometimes the worse years of your life can lead to something great. You have to crawl through broken glass, but there's sometimes beauty on the other side of the trial.
Taking The High Ground
"My school bully has actually just been hired at my place of work."
"At first I was mortified and sick to the pit of my stomach."
"Turns out the man is a shell of his former self, seems like he had some mental breakdown issues - he would be so easy to bully right now and extract my revenge... but I am not that kind of person."
"I hope he gets better and is hopefully a nicer human being."
Seeing The Beauty While Hiding Your Shame
"It made me more accepting of the differences in others but still insecure about my own."
"Me too. I can totally relate. I feel like I often have to hold back my true self at times because some people get offended at my flamboyant personality and my expressions of it. I even had to change my username because of how many homophobic incidents I've experienced here on reddit. It's pretty ridiculous that I have to pretend I'm a burly straight man just so people will stop being mean to me."
Never Wanting Anyone To Feel What You Feel
"Not to pat myself on the back, but everyone says I'm a really nice person. I know why, it's because I don't want anyone to feel what I felt, all throughout every school year, from kindergarten to senior year, like I just wanted to run away from everyone and everything. I know the real reason why I'm nice, most people don't. They just assume I've always been that way, because they didn't know me in school. I don't interact with anyone that I went to school with, none of them. They are all out of my life"
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
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Jane Rosenberg
Jane Rosenberg
@arianagrande/Instagram
@arianagrande/Instagram