It's a given that people have secrets.
Some things just aren't anyone else's business. Other things aren't worth the drama the disclosure would create.
In "perfect" families, there's an expectation that parents keep secrets to protect their children, but children tell their parents everything.
But the reality is quite different.
A Reddit user asked:
"What's a secret your parents can never know?"
Warnings
"Me and my sister emailed the adoption agency that mum was applying through to foster a child, telling them how she treated us as kids, resulting in her being denied."
"She’d kill us if she found out, but we definitely saved some kid so we don’t regret it."
~ liamoj97
House Horse
"I brought a horse into the house—accidentally."
"It came through the hallway, through the kitchen dining room, and back out through the living room."
"I was scared sh*tless it would pee inside or would get spooked."
~ microcoffee
Watered Down
"Dad, I’m sorry, but you don’t have as high of an alcohol tolerance as you think."
"Half of that Tito’s handle was water."
~ gobstop27
"My cousin and I would get into my uncle's alcohol and refill it with water."
"They found out when they took some to a party and one of the bottles was all water."
~ valiantdragon1990
Illness
"That I almost died."
"I got sick, bad, and it kept getting worse. I told them it was a cold knowing they would drop everything to come check on me, potentially disrupting their lives."
"I bought plane tickets for them the day after my operation, pretty much knowing I wouldn't survive."
"The hospital staff saved my life. Now every year on the anniversary, I make it a point to send them flowers."
"The only one who knows is my wife."
~ ElonsMuskyFeet
Dad's Hobby
"I found my dad's porn collection in our family PC."
"He created so many folders and sub folders without knowing I can search it instantly."
"And when I found it, I added more to his collection."
"When he noticed he had more files, he immediately moved it to other folders which I knew about already."
~ level4pidgey
Sex Work Is Work
"My mom did sex work sometimes when we didn't have enough money."
"My parents got divorced when I was 3 and then got remarried when I was 10. After they got divorced , dad got sent overseas for 3 years and we moved back to my mother's home town."
"This was in the early 70's and we lived in section 8 apartments and my older brother's father from her previous marriage didn't pay any child support."
"My dad paid as much child support as he could afford, but before Reagan a Senior Airman didn't make anywhere near enough to support the three of us living apart from him. Even when they were together he had to work a part time job just to make ends meet."
"So while they remained divorced we had very little money and sometimes by the last week of the month the cupboards would be bare unless mom was able to 'do some sewing for a friend of hers'."
"She also would go out on a Friday night and leave us with my aunt and then we would go grocery shopping the next day despite being told two days before that we didn't have enough money to go shopping."
"I was too young to know what was actually going on at the time, but when I was in my early twenties I finally put two and two together and realized that she had been doing part time sex work to make ends meet."
"I know my dad didn't know about it and I never let my mom know that I knew what she had to do for us."
~ Maxtrt
Divorce
"The real reason my wife and I are divorcing is because we can't stop doing drugs together. We've been enabling each other for about two years and doing drugs to the point that they really became the only thing we had in common."
"We tried to get clean and did well for 6 months before relapsing at a friend's party a couple of weekends ago. She blamed me and left with the kids two days later with no warning."
"It's the hardest thing I've ever gone through and my parents have no idea why it happened."
"I got into therapy and am determined to stay sober this time, forever. But I think it's too late for our marriage."
~ FatBlondePlumber
Marriage
"My wife and I married in 2021. Our families believe we got married late last year."
"We got married (for real) in front of three very good friends who we felt were more deserving of seeing us marry."
"If either of our families found out they’d be crushed."
~ RennSport5280
Unhoused
"They can never know that I’m homeless. I assume they think I’m doing well, but really I’m struggling financially and live out of a computer cafe."
"Because of my sexual orientation I was pretty much kicked out of the house and I told them I could do better and prove to them that people with my beliefs and disabilities could also make it."
"After Covid hit I’ve been struggling ever since. I don’t want to go back and show my parents that I was wrong mainly because it will feed into their beliefs of their cult even more."
~ NewAppleChip
Sacrifice
"That in middle school I told them I hated dance after 3 classes when I loved it, but knew that we couldn’t afford it."
"They were trying to pick up extra factory shifts to make it work and it was gutting to see them kill their body for a small hobby."
"It’s not their fault. I ended up spending a lot of time outside playing and eventually independently applied for financial aid to join a sport in high school."
~ hotdoghobbit
"I remember so many times I said 'No, I don't like that' or 'No, I don't want anything! I'm happy'."
"When you're very poor as a kid you learn quickly. The last thing you want to do is be a burden."
~ mibonitaconejito
Party Time
"Senior year of high school, my parents were going out of town one weekend and didn’t trust me home alone so I stayed with my aunt and uncle a few towns over. My friend drove me to school that morning and he was telling me about this girl he was trying to hook up with."
"I told him my parents would be out of town and that I’d leave him my spare key, he could have a couple people over but I made him promise no more than 10 and nobody leaves the basement."
"Fast forward to later that night, I’m walking my aunt and uncle's dog. Somebody texted me asking if they could come over, I told them I’m not home and to talk to my friend."
"Couple minutes later same thing from someone else. Couple minutes later someone from another school asked if they could come to my party."
"That’s when I first realized I should call my friend and see what’s up."
"Turned out the small kickback turned into a full blown rager. Apparently one of the guys he invited ended up inviting the whole soccer team and then it just grew from there."
"It was all anyone talked about for a while at school. Neighbors knocked, cops drove by. Best party of the year from what I heard. Most of the people that showed up didn’t even know that I wasn’t there."
"Next day my friend and another friend came back to clean up and they heard someone upstairs. It was my mom’s friend coming by to feed the cat. They hid in a closet for a bit until it was clear."
"Despite all that, to this day my parents somehow have no idea any of this happened. I was on edge about it for months after the fact. The part I’ve always found funniest/most ironic is the fact that if they had left me home alone that weekend then none of this would have happened."
"We’re 26 now. He’s still my best friend. If I remember correctly he did end up hooking up with that girl that night. The cat was safe—he lives with me now. I still give him sh*t about this."
~ mayham_audio
Disabilities
"The full extent of my disabilities. My mother has a lot of opinions about mental illness—mainly that they don't exist."
"Luckily I also have a brain tumor, so she understands somewhat that I can't work full time, but is still angry that I'm not working part-time at the very least."
~ I-Really-Hate-Fish
Movie Night
"I downloaded dozens of movies I would never be allowed to watch using the church's WiFi. I’d download them, watch them late at night, delete them, and find the next movie."
"This is how I watched The Lord of the Rings and Hobbit trilogy, and all of the Harry Potter movies for the first time since I was a toddler. Looking back it’s one of the more mild things I did as a teen, but it would be the worst thing in mom’s mind."
"The repercussions of knowing I lost my virginity at 14 weren’t nearly as bad as it would be if she knew I had been downloading movies like Gladiator or Kingdom of Heaven and using the church's internet."
"Ohhhh boy if she knew that’s how I watched the Alien movies for the first time."
~ Too_Caffinated
Melanoma
"I begged my mom to allow me to go tanning as a teenager. She reluctantly relented. For what it's worth, if I could go back in time and make a different choice, I absolutely would."
"At 30, I got diagnosed with melanoma. Caught early and removed—nice scar but no chemo."
"I now go to the dermatologist every six months and have had several atypical moles removed since. But I will never, ever tell her why the scar on my leg is so big."
~ psypilot_1
Everything
"I think I'm having a hard time answering this one because I don't tell them the truth about anything."
"I don't think I've ever really been authentic with them."
~ 7_Rowle
"Same. They taught me from a very young age that they overreact about many, many things and it leads to arguments, even in times when I’ve approached them for help and guidance through my teenage years."
~ InsiderKnowledge12
"Same here too. Now that I have kids of my own I feel it even more."
"I try to take a different approach then my parents did, but man it's hard. Because that's the example I've had growing up, I really have to dig deep and try to shed those behaviors that are apparently instilled in me."
"I try to stay calm and talk with them, instead of yelling at them. I hope they will always feel like they are able to come to us with any problems, and we will work through it."
~ MissMoows
Is there anything you haven't told your parents?
