Scandalous Yet Funny Secrets People Are Keeping From Their Partners

Couples who've been together a long time reach a point in their relationship where nothing is sacred, and they think they know everything about the other person.

With long-earned trust and devotion to one another, there are no secrets.

Or are there?

Most of us have been "guilty" at one time or another of withholding that one closely guarded act or behavior we wouldn't want our loved one to know, whether out of embarrassment or emotional protection.

Curious to hear examples of these under the guise of anonymity, Redditor hassansaeedytedyt asked:

"What is the most scandalous secret you’ve kept from your partner?"

Missing Tarts

"I ate all the poptarts and purchased new ones before they knew... then ate all those and got in trouble for eating just the one box."

– Drink15

Silent Night

"I told my boyfriend I was going home to family for Christmas. I told my family I was going to my boyfriend's family for Christmas. I stayed home and did nothing all day."

– ErinLee99

"We did this once. Thanksgiving was approaching, and none of us were feeling it. We lied to my in-laws, ate a bunch of edibles, watched bad movies, and stuffed ourselves with junk food."

– Renaissance_Slacker

Convenient Suspect

"I scratched my wife’s car on a low wall and didn’t say a word but she noticed in a supermarket car park and she went nuts, claiming the car next her had scraped it and driven off. Being the gentleman, I offered to pay to repair it."

– uk6ftdude

"My mom scratched my dad’s car and then parked further away. My dad went through the entire parking lot until he found the car with his paint on it. It was YOU!! 😂"

– Myfourcats1

Me Time

"I take a secret day of PTO once every few months where I get dressed and leave the house like I would normally for work, but instead I treat myself to breakfast and a book at a cafe, get a pedicure, go for a walk in the park, or otherwise just enjoy some alone, quiet, time to myself."

"My boyfriend doesn't work so if I stayed home I wouldn't get any alone time and my boyfriend has a habit of unintentionally turning my PTO days and holidays into 'let's both get stuff done around the house' days. I can let him know I just want a lazy day and he'll try to respect that but it's not the same as time entirely by myself."

– 0rangeMarmalade

"I get myself a drink or treat almost every time I’m out running errands without him (which is honestly like 2-3 times a month). We tend to do everything together and he is NOT about spending money on frivolous things like that, which most of the time is fine. But while I’m pregnant, I really just enjoy a nice little treat just for me, and he doesn’t need to know about it."

– dabekah_dababy

Solo Date

"I went to the cinema yesterday on my own, told work I had to go back to wait for a tradesman as my wife had to take her dad to hospital."

"Not true at all, I just wanted to see the new deadpool film."

"Wife thinks I was at work, work thinks I was at home."

"That's as scandalous as my life will ever get lol."

– Serious-Lie-4903

Blame The Dog

"After we got home from partying, i ate her leftovers from Texas Roadhouse and helped her look for the box...and then blamed our Labrador Retriever."

– beeteeOKC

Future Daddy's Girl

"Probably that I'm secretly spamming our daughter with "DADA DADA DADA" in hopes of scoring that first word while I'm up with her at night. I'm boring - don't really hide much from my spouse."

– AccurateBandicoot494

The goal is to keep them happy.

Luscious Tomato Garden

"Prior to her going home for a month, she planted tomatoes plant seeds. She wanted me to take care of them. Try as I might, they didn’t grow. I went to Home Depot and bought some plants, planted them and made it seem like they grew."

– MidniteOG

A Win-Win

"I work in a hospital so I have lots of weekdays off. I got bored one day and went to the casino since I haven't been in years. About twenty minutes in I won ~$5,000 on the slots. Immediately cashed out and I chose to pay the taxes there on the spot."

"Took the rest home. A few weeks later my wife had a conference in Vegas and I tagged along so we could make a long weekend of it. The day of her conference I bought a drink and wandered around the strip doing nothing. When she got out of the conference that afternoon I told her I 'won $5,000 on the slots.' "

"Of course she was ecstatic because work had already paid for a room at the Cosmo and she had like $100/day in per diem so all that cash was spent on eating at Michelin starred restaurants and going to shows for free. I've never told her I won it at the dumpy casino twenty minutes from our house."

– xts2500

Parting Gift

"My wife had severe depression. I begged, pleaded, tried everything to get her to go to counseling, see a doctor and she would yell and refuse. She wasn't working, I was working 2 jobs. Our house became a mess, and she wouldn't help clean, and I was working."

"Eventually, I filed for divorce. She moved out. My parents came and helped me clean the house. She was living elsewhere. She came back to get some things. She was visibly broken. She wanted her stuffed animals. Her favorite one was nowhere to be found."

"My mom realized that she had found it, but it had something on it, and she threw it away. So I found a replacement online and ordered. I knew she wouldn't accept a gift from me, so I took it to one of her friends and told them not to tell her it was from me."

"She had it above her bed now. She doesn't know. I'm still sad. But she has started counseling and gotten a job. She's on medication. She still hopes we can reconcile. I don't know if I can, though."

– TurbulentWeird755

Keeping The Romantic Mood

"On the night of one of our early dates where I was cooking a good meal for her, I found out about 2 hours before that my grandmother passed away via a phone call from my aunt. I didn't cancel the date, and I didn't let on."

"I put on a good front, we had a great date, and then told her later on that I found out my grandma died later on that night."

"Then I caught the first flight out of town the next day to go to my hometown to be with my grandpa and for the funeral. We're married now with a kid on the way. I still haven't told her I knew about my grandma's passing before our date."

– skyway_walker_612

Who's A Good Boy?

"Anytime we eat, especially a nice place, I lie and say I am full so he can have the last, best bite. He eats way more than I do, but seeing him so giddy about the bite makes me so happy."

– irenefps

Good Loser

"I let him win board games, so he’ll want to keep playing."

– difficultlem0n

"That's actually really sweet 😭 I occasionally let him win at Mario kart on purpose so that he'll want to keep playing. When we first started playing I basically murdered him in the game for about seven straight races and he got frustrated. I convinced him it was a one-off and I was just lucky."

"Little does he know I play Mario Kart Online on a global scale, and I'm literally one of the best in the region lol"

– Digital_Disimpaction

Happy Date Nights

"My partner and I are very frugal. We have separate bank accounts, but we share a credit card together. Whenever we go on dates, she will want to go 50/50."

"I agree with her so she feels free to order whatever she wants. Then I pay off the whole date balance the next morning. When it comes time to do bills, I always leave that information out. I know she loves our date nights and I do too."

– theunusualexistence

Keeping secrets is something that is generally stigmatized, but as you can see in many of the examples listed above, withholding specific information from your significant other can originate from a place of love.

What fun secrets are you keeping from your lover?