"If you didn't buy it, keep your hands to yourself!!"
That is my food motto.
I used it with roommates.
I've said it on dates.
I've even schooled my own mother.
My food is my food!
That's how I feel with people in my personal life.
So imagine how I feel about co-workers who steal food!!
I have no tolerance.
I either made it specifically for that day, or it's a leftover I was really looking forward to finishing.
"Finish my food, and I'll finish YOU!"
Redditor Healthy-Theory6470 wanted to hear about the path of vengeance people have taken toward food thieves, so they asked:
People who have had co-workers steal your food, how did you get revenge?
Thanks, Sis
"I never got revenge, but I did get him to stop."
"It was baby sister's idea actually."
"I placed a clean, still in the wrapper, tampon on the top of the food in the paper bag. "
"He never touched my stuff again."
- Ok-Cheetah-9125
Smirk Smile GIF by euphoriaGiphy
No BBQ 4 U!!
"I didn’t specially order the food in spite but one day I catered a huge order from a popular BBQ place and didn’t tell the coworker who stole people's lunches (more than once from several people)."
"When he came down to the break room and he saw most of the company in there enjoying the food he asked why nobody told him. I looked over at him and said, 'We’ve been starving all week because someone keeps stealing lunches from the fridge, you never seem to complain about it, so I didn’t think you were hungry.'"
- AJDrake405
Cold Turkey
"I got tired of having sandwiches stolen so made a turkey sandwich and let it sit on the counter for a couple of days before taking it in. Sure enough, it disappeared and someone had to leave early that day because they got sick. Never owned up to stealing it and thefts did seem to stop."
- Jumpy-Author-4985
"You know this alone is a huge reason why I’ll never understand lunch thieves. I know how my wife and I handle food. I can trust it. I have no idea how clean or properly other people handle their own food. I don't know how old their food is, how they made it, who else handled it, or whether their hands are clean."
"Is their Tupperware clean? So many questions that made me feel uncomfortable I just could not eat their food… unless it’s a shared lunch where I know that person is cooking to share it, I’d assume they’ve taken the common courtesy to make sure everything was handled properly so as to not poison everyone. But your personal lunch? I could never."
- The_Crazy_Cat_Guy
Tidbits
"At my former job, we had a fridge bandit. This person would pick the tidbits out of your food. For example the shrimp out of your Chinese. However, their biggest trait was taking sandwiches out of lunch boxes. After dealing with multiple employee complaints, and being a telecom, communications company I asked for cameras in the break room. My request was denied. So, vigilante action came into play."
"I spoke with three of the food victims and instructed them to meet me in my office the next day fifteen minutes before their shift. When they showed up I had a loaf of bread and two cans of wet cat food. We made some new sandwiches to replace the ones in their lunch boxes. I had them remove the real sandwiches to store in my office refrigerator."
"The culprit took the bait, and one of the sandwiches was stolen. We never saw who, but after that day, there wasn’t another theft before I moved on to another company and promotion. Petty and gross, but I love thinking about the big first bite they took and the reaction that followed. Lesson learned!"
- blindambition00
Remnants
"Found out who did it by waiting until everyone left for the day and walked around the entire office looking in everyone's trash cans until I found remnants of what used to be my $3 frozen microwave meal. It could've been an honest mistake, but I don't even care. The following day I took the license plate off her car and threw it into the dumpster."
- Dr_Dankenstein5G
You've Been Da Bombed!!
"Made a tomato-based sauce with lots of fresh basil and mixed a tablespoon of Da Bomb hot sauce to it. The dude suffered bad."
- wabudo
"Da Bomb is no joke. That dude was in pain."
"I put Da Bomb in the sauce I use for chicken wings. The first time I used it, I lightly brushed my pinkie against the bottom of the lid and licked the tiny bit of Da Bomb residue off. Lit my mouth on fire from the barest, tiny amount. This wasn't your average 'ooh, bit of a kick' hot, this was actually 'this is actually pretty hot' hot."
"So then I made wings with it for the first time. 10 drops of sauce for around 15 small-ish wings, among other hot sauces. George likes his chicken spicy. It'll just get diluted down, right? Well, those 10 drops opened the gates of hell in my mouth. Easily the hottest wings I've ever eaten. Nearly drank two litres of milk to try to cool it down. It just made it hurt less."
"A whole tablespoon? The dude probably felt like that guy who was executed for his greed by having molten gold poured down his throat."
- Everestkid
Hot Sauce GIF by First We Feast: Hot OnesGiphy
Mixed In
"Informed them that my medication was mixed in with my food, told them that I wasn’t exactly sure what my seizure medication would do to someone who didn’t have seizures and that they may need to visit the ER."
"Basically I lied. I was on meds and they were the kind that you sprinkled over something soft that you didn’t chew to take them but they were in my purse waiting for me to take them with yogurt. The thief had taken my clearly labeled sandwich but left my yogurt alone."
- GothPenguin
It's Been There For Days!
"I am a creature of habit and will often eat the same foods for a while before I get tired of them and switch to something else. It was usually a fruit or vegetable, so I kept it in the fridge until I wanted to eat it."
"One busybody coworker would 'help' by cleaning the fridge, but not tell anyone or give a warning. Multiple times, she'd throw my snack away (clearly labeled) because 'It's been there for days!' No amount of explaining that I just brought the same snack daily and, indeed, ate it daily would help. I even started putting the date on the bag next to my name and she still kept throwing out my snacks."
"She also was a perpetual dish leaver in the break room sink. Maybe she used the same bowl every day and kept adding more bowls daily, but it really seemed like she would leave her dishes in the sink all week before cleaning them on Fridays before leaving for the weekend."
"So I started throwing her dishes in the trash can on Thursday."
- Scared_Ad2563
The Nicker
"A guy at my old job was stealing food from fridges, and was caught nicking food from the kitchens too (we were a food manufacturer company)."
"Our Facilities Manager locked down his pass key so he couldn't access certain places without a chaperone. Toilet and in-out the building was fine, but the kitchen and canteen he needed to be let in. He left soon after."
- MattyFromTheUK
"I worked in a courthouse that of course had its own security team. The building also had a cafe in the basement. Two of the overnight security guys were fired after it was found out they were going down there and taking sodas from the cold case and helping themselves to anything they found in the industrial refrigerators."
"The person who told me about it said they had video of them taking ladles to the large tubs of salsa, putting their mouths to the ladles to eat the salsa, then dipping it into the tub again. They likely did this many times with many different tubs of food before cameras were installed to catch who was stealing. Guys thought because they were building security they were allowed to just help themselves to anything they wanted."
- bluerose1197
Gotcha!
"I worked for a family business many years ago, used to have this huge office area, I’d keep Costco boxes of snacks in a drawer.
Noticed they were being taken, talked to the owners, and convinced them to allow me to set up a hidden camera. Caught a cleaner guy on video coming to eat my snacks, then as he’s eating he’s looking at my pictures, picks his nose, and possibly wipes it on my chair. I showed the video to the owners and the guy was fired within a few minutes."
- loztriforce
Poop Sandwiches
"Not me, but my dad, during the 1970s. Some dude kept stealing lunches from the breakroom fridge. Management wouldn't do anything about it. So one day my dad made a peanut butter and dog sh*t sandwich, wrapped it up, and put it in a lunch bag in the fridge."
"Not only does the food thief steal the s**t sandwich, but he also eats half of it while my dad watched before figuring out what was going on. Then he stood up and started screaming blue murder. The thief was outraged and complained to management. Management said 'Don't steal lunches then' and that was it for official reprisals."
"Every other worker there started calling the thief 's**t eater' for the rest of his time there."
- Icy-Computer-Poop
Criminal
"One thing I never understood was why so many HR departments and/or companies (at least based on Reddit stories :-p ) think that stealing food from other employees isn't significant. I mean, if they're stealing from coworkers, who's to say they aren't stealing from the company? At the very least, that should be enough for immediate dismissal and criminal charges. Yet, too often, as in the OP's case, they get away with a slap on the wrist. :-\ "
- radiantraider
BOO!!
"Laced my lunch with ghost pepper—watched the thief turn redder than our company’s budget report!"
- SweetSarah3
"We all knew one guy was helping himself to another co-worker's food. So one day he dices up like 10 ghost peppers and puts it in his goulash or stew or whatever he had. I'll never forget the look on his face."
- LurkkGod
Burning Hot Sauce GIFGiphy
Booby Trapping
"I made a blindingly hot curry. The funny part is that he had me dragged into the facility manager's office for 'booby trapping' my lunch. I ate a forkful like it was no big deal and then pointed out to the manager that, if he was okay with stealing from his coworkers, then he'd definitely be okay with stealing from the company."
"They started doing random bag checks after that and that guy always got his back checked when it happened."
Little B!
"I like spicy food, really spicy food... like I regularly put scorpion pepper on a lot of my dishes."
"I started making breakfast sandwiches and this guy at work kept eating them. I asked him to stop, and told him those were not communal (because we do share coffee/creamer and stuff like that), but told him I’d be happy to prep him some since that’s something I do. The next day he comes in and heats one up and I said nothing. That night I made 2 burritos and put 1/2 of a scorpion pepper in each one, put my homemade habanero pepper salsa on them, and used a Carolina Reaper pepper hot sauce as well."
"After 30 minutes in the bathroom, he never ate my food again. Little B**ch."
- gimpers420
Eat Up Mate
"I made a salami sandwich generously spread with Vegemite. Buddy ol'pal must have thought it was BBQ sauce or else. Never came back for my food! And for Aussies out there I'm not saying that stuff isn't tasteful but to the unprepared European taste it's quite awful."
- I3atou
Daniel Ricciardo Australia GIFGiphy
This article made me laugh in joy.
But it also got me HOT under the collar!
Who do these thieves think they are? How dare you just take what is not yours!
Some people have serious dietary issues.
So these meals can take time and money people don't have.
Keep your grubby paws to yourself.
These food avengers are heroes! Keep on spilling those hot sauces.