During the wedding and the exchanging of vows, everything is sunshine and daisies, and it's easy for the couple to imagine staying together forever.
But after being married for a few years, sometimes people realize that this isn't the happily-ever-after they were expecting, and they might go so far as to question if staying married is the right plan for them.
Cringing in anticipation, Redditor HyperBites asked:
"How do you feel about your current spouse? If you could do it all over again, would you marry them?"
"In A D**ned Heartbeat"
"In a d**ned heartbeat. He has only grown kinder and more loving in the last 34 years, and he was hands down the best person I'd ever dated then. He's my very sweetest baboo."
- Toirneach
"Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me"
"I love her more than life itself. Best thing that ever happened to me, which allowed two more best things to ever happen to me to happen."
"I would marry her again tomorrow and every day thereafter if she would have me."
"Spoiler: she would."
- Badger031973
"Got It Right"
"Oh, I would only hope she says yes again. My best friend, my guinea pig for new recipes and so much more. I’ve messed up a few things in life, but my spouse? I got it right."
- -DrPeePee-
"Is someone cutting onions in here?!"
- EnnKayy
"Yes, I am cutting onions and making food for my wife!"
- -DrPeePee-
"Not Her Best Decision, But Mine"
"She is the best decision I've ever made. I'm not sure that I was her best decision."
"We just celebrated our 40th anniversary. I didn't say I was a 'bad' decision, just not her best."
- I_Want_an_Elio
"I feel this too. My partner is downright wonderful. He’s funny, caring, loving, and will do absolutely anything he can to make me happy. I’m definitely not a bad partner but I reckon he could do better. He makes me want to be a better person every day."
- discombobulatededed
"Need Different Things"
"I would not. She needs something else. I do as well. Our expectations of a spouse do not fit one another. No one is at fault. 25 years of marriage to one another proves that people change. It’s over half our lives (barely)."
"That said, it’s not enough reason for either of us to be single. It just isn’t. I love her with every ounce of my being, and I think she does me likewise. We are improvising this life. Together. I could not do that with any other person."
- Sunny1-5
"Isn’t that all marriage is though? Finding the right person to improvise, change, and grow with, even if you have different needs?"
- kaylajaneallen7
"There is an ocean of difference between staying with somebody because you're already used to them, get along well enough, and think leaving will make things worse and staying with somebody because no one on the planet makes you happier."
- sugarplumbuttercream
"Be Yourself First. Get Married Later."
"Honestly, I don't know. I love him but my life is so contradictory right now. I think I'm having a crisis. And I've been feeling like things aren't right lately."
"He's a really great person but I'm not happy right now. That's not his fault. And I could never leave him."
"As I said, it's not up to him. He's sweet and kind and doesn't deserve anything bad. And he loves me. And I love him too. And we have children."
"I have a crisis, sometimes I don't know who I really am and what I really want from life. I hope I find out and then everything will be fine again."
"My advice to my younger self would be to be yourself first and get married later."
- Kristin_mit_K
"Yes To Both Marriages"
"Yes, and he’s my second marriage. I don’t even think if I could go back that I would un-do the first… because I don’t think I would have fully appreciated the person he is if I hadn’t been through that. Happy we have the rest of our lives."
- Strict-Wonder-7125
"I feel this. I didn't get married until I was 36, but I think that I needed the other long-term relationships that I had previously, in order to see how this woman, that I married over 20 years ago, was THE ONE."
"And I knew it within the first week of being with her. The amazing thing was that she did, too."
- Sufferbus
"Can't Put It Into Words"
"I love him so much, I can't put it into words, he's the love of my life and I just want to make him happy."
"In April, we're getting married and I've never felt such a sense of stability and unconditional love as I do from him, and for him, I would get down on my knees a million times with my heart beating a thousand times an hour just to be able to hear, 'Of course I want to spend the rest of my life with you honey,' again."
"He makes me the happiest man in the world, we've been through so much that I would kill for him and for us."
- TopOfGaming
"Scammed"
"Absolutely not. The man I loved did not ever exist. I basically was scammed out of a better life without a marriage."
"The idea of being married ever again terrifies me because I will never trust someone for just their words anymore."
- Used-Rub1720
"This is how I feel. The man he was before we were married feels like a totally different person than I'm married to right now."
"He barely reciprocates affection anymore, rarely says he loves me, has actually shrugged when I ask if he loves me at times, and has not treated me well during my pregnancy. That includes lying to me about texting an ex of his he previously told me he wouldn't talk to."
"I'm eight months pregnant, but I absolutely would not have continued dating him knowing what I know now when the first red flags started popping up September before last. (I thought that was the worst of it, I was wrong)."
- SmooshMagooshe
"My Own Fault"
"No. It’s really my fault. I should have set my personal goals higher."
"I also should have taken a closer look at the rest of the family. I never realized that her brothers and sisters were nuts and we would have to deal with them our whole marriage."
- Outdoor-Snacker
"Reading this makes me feel better about not being with my ex anymore. She came with a lot of toxic baggage called her family and I got tired of the outbursts and drama. Emotionally, it was just too much, and she set no boundaries."
"She was also a lot to deal with herself but her relentless pursuit of me made me grow to love her. I miss her dearly but I think I just avoided a divorce. She’s a wonderful girl, and I wish her the best."
- That_Dot8904
"In A Heartbeat"
"In a heartbeat."
"And she’s going through some serious postpartum anxiety and depression right now (I’m taking it seriously; she’s seeing a doctor and being medicated for it)."
"This is a low point for us when we should be feeling nothing but joy. It’s very difficult. I’d still pick her every time. Love of my life."
- The1TrueRedditor
"Marriage Does Not Fix Anything"
"I love her, but no."
"Marriage will not fix or change anything."
"I'm not saying to rethink getting married, but be cognizant of all aspects of your relationship going in."
- wolfheadmusic
"No Physical Connection"
"Only if I wanted to be married to someone who doesn’t notice me, touch me, or compliment me ever. He takes the trash out and is a good dad, though, so then again, maybe."
"It’s hard to say when it stopped because as long as I can remember, I was the only one who initiated any sort of affection, physical or otherwise. Then one day I kind of realized that it was hurting me to be the only one doing it so I stopped."
"We get along okay, but there’s underlying resentment from me for the lack of emotion and then from him because he makes more money and feels he does more. Normally, I’d say this is a communication problem, but we’ve both voiced our concerns with no tangible changes."
"I sort of just assumed this is how everyone’s marriage is when you get older (29-30) and hit the six-year mark so I’m not sure."
"All I can say is if there is something bothering you in your marriage, the first step is to voice it; otherwise, it can’t change. I do hope your situation improves because it sounds like you work well together for the most part."
- Nice_Supermarket_988
"One Of My Biggest Fears"
"Absolutely. I have actual nightmares that he’s left me and won’t talk to me. It’s one of my biggest fears."
"I would marry him again and again. He’s so kind, handsome, and a fabulous father. I’m so thankful we met and that we’ve built a life together."
- Shady_K8ee
"Even With the Crumbs"
"So we were in the car this morning, and I (43 Female) was driving my husband (44 Male) home from urgent care as his cold was exacerbating his asthma. We stopped for his meds and a quick bite. I got a sandwich and was shoving chips in it and just going to town eating."
"I look down. I'm covered in crumbs. I said, 'Lol, you married this. On purpose.' (Yes, I said 'lol.')"
"He said, 'I sure did!'"
"We get home and I'm about to get out of the car. Again I laugh, 'ahhhhahaha you maaarrried thiiis!'"
"'Brush yourself off, and I'll marry you again!!'"
"Honestly, one of the most romantic things he's ever said because I know he meant it."
- AmaranthWrath
While not every relationship is destined to last forever, it's clear to most of these Redditors that even if there are rocky moments in the relationship, many of them are worth fighting for.
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