People Who Stayed With A Cheater Describe The Aftermath

Projecting And Gaslighting

"It was super short-lived because of the hardcore projecting."

"Because she cheated, she assumed that I was going to cheat with all my women friends. She became super controlling and didn't want me to have any women friends."

"I ended up leaving because my friendships were more important than a broken relationship."

~ Ookimow

"It's in fact so common that people who baselessly accuse others of cheating are almost always cheating and projecting it on their partner."

"Every time I had been cheated on, this is the trigger that made me realize it was going on in the first place and was easily able to find proof."

"They out themselves."

~ PsionicKitten

"My ex husband tried to get me to go to therapy. And don’t get me wrong, I needed it and should have gone, to get the self-worth to leave his a**."

"But my point was, if you won’t stop cheating on me why waste money on therapy lmao‽‽ It’s like sitting in the ER while someone is stabbing you in the back."

"He swore on everything we had he wasn’t cheating on me again."

"Yeah…..he was the whole time."

~ WillBsGirl

Regrets, I Have A Few

"I really truly believed I would rise from it and forgive him, get over it, and come out of it stronger."

"It was never the same. I lost that trust and I couldn’t get it back. And eventually, I stopped caring to want it back."

"It was a 7 year relationship & although I don’t regret it, I sometimes wish I knew to walk out sooner."

"But it made me realize what I really deserve and it led me to the forever man in my life who treats me so well and loves me and honours our commitment."

~ backandforthlosing

"This got me in my soul!"

"My soon to be ex is not violent, he's grown into a lovely man, just not the one for me after what happened."

"I've just cracked my early 30s so I'm calling this my quarter life crisis and moving on...a lot of those things you have said resonated so much!"

~ Puzzleheaded-Ad-9724

"Reasons for not leaving—Fear, isolation, guilt, not wanting to hurt the person you love most in the world, even though they hurt you. Not wanting to lose them."

"It’s hard to let them go, because you have to let go of a part of yourself too and the life you thought you were building together. It is so hard to accept that it was all just an illusion."

"After some time passes, you try to put what happened at the back of your mind as a survival mechanism, and then your partner assumes that you have forgiven them because you no longer appear to be preoccupied with it."

"Sex also complicates things because some cheaters think that resuming sex equals their partner has moved on and are not upset any longer."

"You keep quiet and bottle up emotions to keep the peace, but at a severe detriment to your mental health and well being."

"This is where I am currently with my relationship. I am just trying to get through one day at a time until I gather enough strength to move forward."

"I too hope to wake up one day and say, 'FUK THIS!' I have known about the infidelity since 2021."

~ lunarmantra

Never The Same

"Happened in 2010, part of a mental breakdown on their side. Stood by and watched my world fall apart with a young child to look after."

"I believe in the vows I took when I got married, especially in sickness & in health. 13 years later, still married, perhaps stronger than ever but it still hurts."

"The pain numbs down over time from a glowing ball the size of the sun to a little pin prick of light but it still burns."

"I’m glad we stayed together, child is now a happy and rounded young lady—enjoying the world and her life ahead of her."

"We are now 26 years together so if any of you are reading this, good can come from bad, life does go on, listen to your heart but don’t ever get mugged off."

~ oldskoolplayaR1

"Caught her in an 'emotional' affair early on in our relationship."

"Both her and him told me it was a mistake and he apologized and told me it was over."

"I believed it all."

"However I will admit that it bubbled up during arguments over other issues because of how betrayed I felt."

"It weighed on me to the point where she told me I needed to see a therapist to get over it. I went to 3 of them over a period of the next 4 years."

"We went as a couple maybe a year after that."

"Flash forward another 2 years…I found the texts and pics."

"It never ended and it only grew. The entire time she told me to get counseling. The entire time we were in counseling together."

"The entire time I worked 2 jobs and 7 days a week because she lost her job and took a year off and I picked up the slack."

"You do not recover."

~ justaguylookinghappy

Tick, Tick, Tick...

"A ticking time bomb."

~ Ratakoa

"Yep. We spent a year trying to recover, then had 2 good years..."

"Then he cheated again... I think in the back of my mind I was just waiting the whole time for it to happen again."

~ naturally_eva

"This! Every single day, this is what's in the back of my mind and yup, waiting for it to happen again and hoping, at the same time, that it won't."

~ ahuh_itzme

"Ex wife was the same. We tried again, but she just had to get back in contact with him… lasted ten months, but only eight before she’d started seeing him again."

"It was a 12 year relationship for us, with most of that married. I don’t think she actually stopped seeing him really, looking back."

"When I started seeing a new girl, my ex wife tried to seduce me! Erm, no."

~ CabinetOk4838

"Shoot, mine never even stopped seeing the other guy. She swore up and down she wanted to stay together and it was all a mistake—so I laid out some very simple rules for moving forward, starting with no more contact with the guy."

"She never stopped."

"To this day I dont know what she was thinking. She just kept on trying to see us both. This was a 10 year marriage with kids, too."

"About a year into the divorce, she straight up moved 500 miles away (by herself), became a drug addict, and her entire life fell apart. Got arrested for felony drug possession etc..."

"Most bizarre complete self destruction I've ever seen in real life."

~ alonjar

If They'll Cheat With You...

"One of my buddies dated a girl once that cheated to be with him. Then after awhile she cheated on him too."

"He was so shocked."

"But I was like, bro, she cheated on someone to get with you. Her cheating on you to get with someone else shouldn’t be a surprise."

~ travworld

The Other Side

"That's not always true. I cheated once. It destroyed the person I love, and it sent me into a 2 year spiral of depression and anxiety that I had to be hospitalized for twice."

"I'll NEVER, EVER make that mistake again. People can learn from their past mistakes."

"That being said, 'once a cheater, always a cheater' is true more often than it isn't - and that's quite sad."

"I just won't be one ever again. Absolutely not worth ANY of it."

~ reflUX_cAtalyst

The decision to stay with someone who has broken your trust is an individual one.

Unfortunately, it doesn't seem like there are many happy endings for couples after one partner cheats.