Do you know what popular thing I’m sick of people attempting to make romantic? The 1940s and 1950s.
How many times have we all heard the sentiments that dating isn’t like it used to be? Marriages don’t last like they used to?
Or how men knew how to be men or women were so glamorous back then? Or “I was made for a different time” citing romantic ideals of ice cream shop dates and car hops?
It’s a bunch of hooey.
Yes, we all love some great retro fashion but the time period was horribly oppressive. Those women—if even able or allowed to work—made so little per hour compared to men they could not typically be fully self sufficient.
Women were still raised for marriage and not their own dreams. They did awful things to themselves to fit into societal beauty standards at the time as it was tied in directly to their worth.
People of color had no rights, they were kept segregated and abused. The fight is still going today to undo the grievous social harms done during and after this time period.
So, forgive us if we don’t see the romance in “the olden days”.
Creative_Waltz_9462 wanted to hear what other wrongly romanticized occurrences bother others, so they asked:
“What are you sick of being romanticized or portrayed positively?”
Harassment is encouraged.
“Chasing a girl/boy who doesn’t want to be chased. And then making them feel bad, for not wanting to be with you. If someone isn’t interested, then it’s okay. It’s not the end of the world. Don’t harass them. It’s not a good look.” OkHomework7009
It’s a rampant and serious issue.
“Poverty - it’s always some family that is struggling but lives in some “run down” apartment that is merely small and not modern, but is heated and furnished and always has some amazing view or rooftop access that makes them feel the world is really theirs for the taking.”
“Nope nope nope. Unheated rat-infested roach motel with dangerous neighbors and a view of a fire-escape. Cut electric, cut heating, dinner of saltines if anything. Poverty is absolute shit and can be a death sentence to your health and sanity.” hyogodan
Suffering is not a virtue.
“Terminal illness. It doesn't 'open your eyes', it doesn't ‘give you a better outlook on life’. Most of them are horrible degenerative diseases that scrape away people's lives bit by bit until they are ghosts of their former selves.” TwentyFourSevenCID
Can we just stop making a joke of mental health?
“Obsessive compulsive disorder (maybe “positively” is the wrong word, but it’s certainly portrayed as ‘quirky’ or ‘silly’ a lot)” blairbxtch
“Ive seen this on social media a lot. OCD is NOT quirky at all. My intrusive thoughts are mostly about violence, harm(like wanting to hurt someone i love), really disturbing images, and like “if you dont do this, you will go to hell” sth like that. Seeing how it’s portrayed as ‘silly’ ‘quirky’ is infuriating. ‘Omgg im so ocd 😚😚’ 🤦♀️“ Apprehensive-Ad9077
Poverty is not 'cool'…
“Growing up in the hood. Sure, the story of triumph and making it out is great. But losing loved ones and friends throughout your childhood is a miserable and traumatizing experience. Not to mention the poverty and daily uncertainty.” astrofresh
"At 25 I finally escaped a generational cycle of poverty. That year my brother was murdered. It doesn’t even matter who I am anymore because I’ll never be the same without him.” titsandwits89
Be kind to artists…
“Starving artist. Starving is not pleasant no matter what causes it.” Ashtar-the-squid
“To piggyback on this: the sad, depressed artist that turns his pain into ART. I would burn all of van gogh's paintings if it meant that poor man could have been happy.” Averysaur91
There’s nothing romantic about it…
“As an adoptee, someone discovering that they were adopted and then venturing off to find their "real" parents and this leads to them finding that thing that was missing from their lives. I've known that I was adopted for as long as I can remember.”
“My ‘real’ parents are the the ones that raised me, loved me and nurtured my thirst for knowledge. I've had some contact with my biological mother but have only some ethnic elements as points of commonality. Never had any contact with my biological father and have no pressing urge to reach out.”
“I wouldn't refuse him if he sought me out, but I have my own life and admire both of them for having the self awareness to know that neither of them were in a good place to raise a child.”
“EDIT: Wow, thank you so much for the awards. I would just like to add a little something here. If you are thinking of adopting, please don't be frightened that they won't love you because you don't share quite as many chromosomes. If are willing to give someone a loving and nurturing home and give up some of your own personal indulgences to do so, then you are a hero. As one respondant said, at least we (adoptees) know for certain that we were wanted.”
“And if you are somone who is thinking of putting up your child for adoption because you feel that you cannot provide them the life that they deserve, then please don't feel bad about that decision. As I said earlier, I have the utmost respect for my biological parents for being that self-aware and doing what was right by all of us."
"Giving up your child for adoption should be seen as an act of love and caring, not abandonment. Aliit ori'shya tal'din: Family is more than blood.” TheRealAegil
“Those labels make me wretch more than the chemo.”
“Cancer diagnosis and its treatment. We are not all strong brave warriors and insisting we act like we are, to assuage non cancer sufferers fear of our diagnosis; doesn't allow us to safely process the trauma we are experiencing. Please stop.”
“EDIT: Thank for the awards. My sleeping tablet knocked me out and i woke up to alot of unexpectedness. I'm in active treatment for Breast cancer currently. I don't consider myself a warrior or brave. Those labels make me wretch more than the chemo.”
“I've taken to calling myself a Cancer Passenger as it mostly feels like I accidentally got on the wrong bus and now I'm holding on tight to see if i can get to my desired destination via an unexpectedness detour. I am sorry for all the raw loss shared below but bloody grateful for it too. We need desperately to talk more honestly about the reality of cancer and its treatments to allow us to manage it better and give us patients more dignified ends of our choice, if/when that time comes. Thank to you all.” SomethingElegant
They aren’t idols…
“Mobsters/Cartel members. They are violent criminals responsible for murders and running lives.” drunkin_idaho
“It's really telling when you hear an old Brooklyn guy say that ‘the mob made things safe around here back in the day’... yeah, because your family was from the same part of Italy as the folks running the mob.”
“For every family that praises mob-controlled neighbourhoods, there is another that was ruthlessly extorted for protection money every week of their lives. Perspective varies depending on what side of the fence you're on.” FromFluffToBuff
ADHD
“ADHD. It's not just having tons of energy or being quirky. At best, that's only the very, very tip top of the iceberg. I was only diagnosed at age 27 and until receiving diagnosis and treatment, it was a major source of severe anxiety and depression, made school 1000x more difficult, and damn near got me fired from my job a couple years ago.” Chuck_Sharts1
“A common symptom of adhd is actually fatigue, that's something a lot of people really struggle to understand for some reason. And the memory issues, f**k me those are the worst. I actually used to be afraid I was getting early onset Alzheimer's before I found out memory issues was also an adhd symptom because of the way it affects working memory.” Ppleater
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