You start a new relationship.
Things appear to be going quite well.
Then the mind games start.
The incessant phone calls.
The accusations.
The recriminations.
This was today's burning question from Redditor imgenerallyaccepted, who got us thinking about all the times we let those red flags slide:
"What is your 'red flag' in a person when you're in the early stages of dating?"
Never again.
"Got jealous..."
"Got jealous about every single call you received, even when it was from your family members. Accusing you of "cheating with that whore you're on the phone with" (even though that "whore" was your dad.)
"They ended up being a major cheater in the end."
Sounds like a possessive idiot who you're better off without. People like this are nothing but trouble.
"We're not in high school..."
"Playing head games. We're not in high school, and you aren't on the Bachelorette. Be honest, sincere, and forthcoming, and we'll get along just fine. I'm in my mid-thirties, and thus am too old and rickety to jump through hoops."
I hear that! It's too much to go through something like that, especially when you're older and should absolutely know better.
"I dated a guy..."
"I dated a guy for 2 months that flat out told my dad (we started dating just before my birthday so they met for a birthday dinner) he wanted to get me pregnant so he could lock me in. I then found out he had a separate life when his other girlfriend found my phone number on my business page."
You really dodged a bullet there! Good thing you're away from him.
"Blowing up my phone..."
"Blowing up my phone at two in the morning is a big one for me. I don't mind so much if it's one or two messages late at night so long as they obviously know most people are asleep around then, but if I wake up to like a dozen or so texts where they're growing increasingly mad that I'm not responding, it's a red flag."
That is absolutely a red flag. Tells you everything you need to know and it's good to steer clear.
Amen to that. It's exhausting to have to decipher what someone else is thinking!
"It got under my skin..."
"If they aren't willing to compromise on things, or they think their time is more precious than yours. My ex lived about 30 min away from me. I always met at his place or his town for stuff be never the other way around because he was, "too tired".
"It got under my skin because he literally was a 5 min drive from his job and I already averaged about 90 miles a day for work alone. So I'd drive for work, go home and then drive to his place."
"One day he tried rushing me out of our morning yoga class that ran over time, like got really uptight about it, so he wouldn't be late for work (still 5 min away). Meanwhile I was gonna have at least a 25 min commute to get to my job and wasn't that worried about it. I broke things off for other reasons but that one really buttered my rolls because I dealt with it everyday."
"Buttered my rolls" is certainly a creative way to describe your annoyance.
"The one that raises..."
"The one that raises straight away for me is if they talk bad or down on others, even people they dont know and it's merely off how they look or dress."
Indeed. It's best to keep your mouth shut, especially about things that do not concern you.
Best Excuses For Late Assignments That Were Actually True | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
"When they dodge..."
"When they dodge answering questions or cut you off when you're talking. I give them a pass the first time because it might be nerves but if it keeps happening it's not ok."
True. Anything more begins to feel like evasiveness.
"Being flaky..."
"Being flaky with communication and/or meeting up. To an extent life can and will get in the way, but there's a certain level of enthusiasm you want to see from a potential partner and if they can't muster it during the honeymoon stage of dating, it's probably not going to improve later."
This is an excellent point. Whether someone is willing to make time for you tells you so much.
"My Pop..."
"Yelling. My Pop was a yeller, as is my brother. Sends me into immediate panic."
Sorry you had to go through that. So uncomfortable.
We are taking notes on all of these. Do you have similar experiences to add to our list? Let us know in the comments.
@kileywrestling/Bluesky
