The signs of a toxic relationship can be difficult for someone to figure out if they've––and here I'll list two of the most common reasons––A) never been in one before, or B) never learned how to set their own boundaries.
Unfortunately, many of us only learn what makes a toxic relationship toxic through trial and error. Ouch. (Lord knows I've been there!)
"What is the biggest warning sign to GTFO a relationship?" –– This was today's burning question from Redditor clibb28 and we're certain many people took some notes!
"When you catch yourself..."
GiphyWhen you catch yourself filtering everything you say to make sure you don't trigger their whatever the weaponized emotion is.
"You're always the bad one..."
GiphyEverything is your fault. You're always the bad one, they're always the victim. Everything is turned against you. If you feel like that, even if you think it's true and you deserve it, YOU DON'T. Guilt-tripping and gas-lighting. You get out of that toxic relationship. You deserve to be treated better than that, whether you believe it or not.
"If you ever feel..."
If you ever feel unsafe around them, or if their presence puts you on edge.
Your physical safety and mental health should always be the number 1 priority.
"Things get better for a while..."
Talking about the same problem over and over.
Sometimes you reach a point in a relationship where you have discussed the same, very important issue (at least to you), multiple times.
Things get better for a while and then go back to the way they were before - cue another talk, rinse, repeat.
At this point, you really need to decide whether you can adjust your expectations to what is obviously the standard of that relationship or leave.
Just to be clear, this doesn't necessarily mean the other person is abusive, lacks empathy, or is even acting obnoxiously or in bad faith.
It's one thing to ask someone to change their behavior, it's another to change their personality, which is much harder and often takes some really hard work like therapy.
"If you have a partner..."
GiphyLongterm mental health issues that need treatment but the affected person declines to get professional help.
If you have a partner who has serious, long-term mental health issues and refuses to get any treatment, the relationship can easily stop being about mutual love and support and become a full-time medical ward where you are the staff and your partner is the patient.
Partners are not therapists or psychiatrists. It is important as a partner to do what you can to help your sick partner get treatment and improve as much as they can. But it is not your job, and it's dangerous, to attempt doing. If your partner broke their leg, would you just take them home or would you take them to a doctor? Mental health isn't different from physical health in this case.
"Lies."
Lies. It'll only get worse after the first one. It'll be far less painful to just end it while you're ahead. Relationships are built on trust, even a small crack in the foundation, can still make the house sink later on.
"They start assuming..."
They start assuming you're cheating on them. Sure an insecurity or joke is one thing. But constant pressure gets suspicious. My ex did that to me for a solid 2 months and then soon after i found out she was the one cheating.
Like a dumbass I gave her another chance only to get heart broken again.
"You realize..."
GiphyYou realize that you are changing things that don't directly impact your partner like what you do with your time, what you buy, what you eat or listen to when you aren't around them to avoid their judgement or displeasure.
"For me..."
Privacy invasion. For me, someone snooping on my phone is really a red flag. It doesn't mean I have something to hide, it means one has to respect boundaries and my privacy. Once I had a relationship with a woman which lasted for a few months. We ended the relationship for unrelated things. However, a few days after the breakup, I started receiving many phone calls. A friend in another country telling me this woman has been calling her, telling her bad things about me. Then my sister called me telling me a similar thing. Then various people told me about this woman calling them.
It happened that my ex once snooped on my phone while I was in the shower. She copied as many contacts she could from my phone, without my knowledge. Once we broke up, she called them all. Snoopers, never again. Anyway, I am married and my wife totally respects that.
Jane Rosenberg
Jane Rosenberg
