Public attitudes about not having children are slowly changing. At the same time, birth rates are dropping in many first-world countries.
Access to contraceptives is a factor, but so is a lessening of the pressure to have children. Once viewed as a moral imperative, more and more people are realizing there's nothing wrong with choosing to be child-free.
Reddit user JumpyInterview83 asked:
"Redditors who never want to have a child, what are your reasons?"
Kitten/Puppy Syndrome
"Too many people just want to have a baby like it's a puppy or kitten."
"Wanting a child is not the same as wanting to be a parent."
"If you’re not ready for the commitment and sacrifice, just don’t do it."
~ flowerworker
Like That Scene From Alien
"The concept of growing and having another being inside of me is absolutely unsettling, let alone the whole process of getting it OUT of me…"
~ Carpe-Asinum
Just Because
"Because I don’t want to."
~ froggylova
"This is our first reason and it's valid and enough."
~ cf-myolife
I'm Good
"I like kids and I’m really good with them!"
"I know that my partner and I would be good parents."
"But I don’t want them."
~ isabelleeve
24/7/365
"I lack the discipline and energy required to do it well."
"But in the end, what it really comes down to (for me), is that I just never wanted children. It's not so much that I have reasons for not wanting them, but I've just never felt a desire to have them."
"It's like cats—I've never felt a desire to have a cat (I'm a dog person); it's not so much that I actively want not to, but rather that I've never actively wanted to. It doesn't bother me that other people love cats, or have cats, or talk about their cats, and I don't dislike cats at all, but I have no interest in having any of my own."
"Well, I feel much the same about having children—I don't actively want any—and I don't need a reason beyond that."
"All that said, I don't care for people who are aggressively child-free, say they hate children, complain any time a baby makes a peep, etc... I have no time for those people."
"I think kids (of all ages) are delightful (in finite doses), and I do volunteer work with middle and high school students (and enjoy it very much). I just don't want to be responsible for any children 24/7/365."
~ GothicGingerbread
Nautical Limits
"It’s like asking why I don’t have a boat. Because I don’t want one‽‽"
"So many children go through awful things in their childhood because their parents didn’t actually want a kid—they were just supposed/expected to have one."
~ DragonbornBastard
Wrong Disposition
"Honestly, I don’t have the patience to deal with them."
~ LycheeTrue9831
"I feel this. As a teenager, I tried babysitting once or twice and I didn’t enjoy it at all."
"Even as an adult, no thanks. Never been a kid person."
~ peculiar_pisces
Justification
"I think you need a reason to have a child—instead of justifying not having one."
"I simply have never had the desire to do that. Being childfree by default makes more sense to me than having children by default."
~ themonicastone
Sniff Test
"I feel like babies and small kids always smell like sour milk and stale pee—not like they're not taken care of, but kids are just sticky and gross to me."
"Love when people are like 'but YOU were a baby and a little kid once!'....like yeah. I was. And I didn't choose to be."
"Now I can choose if I want that in my life or not!"
~ funkyartmuffins
Gross 🤢
"I am weirdly repulsed by pregnancy….it’s my shameful secret as a woman."
~ Cultural-Front9147
"I also am DISGUSTED by pregnancy. Like the thought of being pregnant and having something inside of me makes me feel physically ill."
"I just don’t think I’d cope or enjoy any moment of it, not to mention breastfeeding freaks me out. Just all of it is a big no for me."
"My sister (who has 2 kids) hated being pregnant and she was also disgusted by breastfeeding and she opted for formula. So that was in a way, very validating."
"She shares all her 'ugly mom thoughts' with me because she can’t say it to anyone else because I don’t judge."
~ dogsdogsjudy
Personal Preference
"This probably sounds bad, but I never liked babies and little kids. Why would I have something I don’t like?"
"Plus the actual giving birth part scares me."
~ Dear_Plenty8567
Decision Made
"I have an uncle who would always ask when I'm having kids at every family function. The last time he asked, I had just gotten back from the ob/gyn who informed me that I had a heart shaped, tilted uterus and I can never have kids."
"To be clear, I've never wanted kids and had awful periods (it turns out it was endometriosis, and they let it get to stage 4 before doing anything about it) and was hoping this would help my chances with a hysterectomy, so I was over the moon, but my uncle didn't need to know that."
"He asked, and I solemnly told him I can't have kids. The look on his face was priceless, and he's never brought the subject up again."
"I'm not saying to lie to your family about not being able to have kids, but I'm not saying it either."
~ saymynamebastien
No Regrets
"I’d rather regret not having kids than regret having them."
~ __flatline__
Silencio
"I enjoy money and silence."
~ TopPop2998
"The silence, oh God, the silence."
"I have a cousin whose kids NEVER ever stop talking to her. Like, literally, only when they’re asleep."
"She’ll visit me and we’re having an adult conversation and they’ll just be tapping her and saying 'mum' or 'mummy' on repeat. She says she doesn’t even hear them anymore."
"I could never."
~ Imaginary_Fondant832
What Instinct?
"The question kind of presumes everyone begins at a point of wanting children then changes their mind for some reason."
"That's not my experience."
"I've never felt even the slightest impulse to procreate. I don't feel any sort of compulsion around infants other than a desire to get away from them."
"Because I never felt that instinctual desire, I never had children."
"I don't think people should have kids just because it's what other people expect them to do. I think only people who feel that pull, who genuinely want to be a parent, should have them."
"So definitely NOT me."
~ MohawkMavis
If you decided against having kids, is there a reason why? Did you always feel this way?
@elonmusk/X