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The Real Reasons People Broke Up With Their Ex

couple in silhouhette
silhouette of man and woman facing each other during golden hour
Photo by Travis Grossen on Unsplash

A breakup is never a decision to be taken lightly.

And be it amicable or not, ending a relationship will always come with hurt, anger, and tears.

In some cases though, it becomes abundantly clear that staying in this relationship isn't a good idea, particularly if it's for health or safety reasons.

In other cases, however, it might take some reflection, as you might feel as if something about your relationship isn't working, but can't exactly figure out what it is.

Until, without any warning, it becomes clear as day.


Redditor __yellowflash__ was curious to hear the real reasons people chose to end their relationships, leading them to ask:
"Why did you break up with your ex?"

Never Actually In Love

"We woke up one cold Sunday morning in February and she told me she didn't love me any more and wanted me to leave."

"We started dating in high school and were in our 13th year of marriage in a 21-year relationship."

"I did not see it coming."

"I left, she abandoned our two sons to me and started a whole new life with some guy from the US she met while playing Age of Empires."

"I was devastated for a long while."

"Eventually I healed, and remarried."

"I thought I was in love in my first marriage, but I now know real love with my second wife."

"If I had to suffer all that again just to be with my wife, I would do it in a heartbeat."- MooseJawMinion

A Matter Of Priorities

"I found out she was talking to a guy listed as a woman in her contacts."

"Then when I took her back I had to go to the ER and let her know."

"She instead went out to dinner with her friends."

"I sat there for 3 hours freaked out all alone."

"I realized I can’t be with a person that won’t be by my side when I seriously needed it."- Turbogato

Infidelity And Manipulation

"He told me that cheating runs in his family and that he wouldn’t be surprised if he cheated on me."

"Also tried guilt-tripping me into staying with him because 'I’m the only thing keeping him alive'."

"We’ve been broken up for a year now and he’s still very much alive."- bear21-21

Lack Of Quid Pro Quo

"I had supported him through years of drug abuse."

"I then ended up in a bad place and became an alcoholic."

"When he found out he said ''I don't wanna be with an alcoholic'."

"That just showed me who he truly is."

"Gladly, I am sober today."- ZaraAqua

Difference Of Opinion

"We wanted different things in life."

"You can meet the most amazing person, have the best everything but if you want different things."- Hagtzel

Where To Even Begin?

"In college, I was dating Melissa for about 9 months."

"She was very naive and somewhat sheltered."

"All of this happened within about a week."

"Maybe a week and a half, but I don’t remember a weekend happening in between any of these events."

"I came home from class to see that she had a new computer."

"But it looked very similar to the computers I saw in the computer lab I went to."

"I asked her about it and turns out she simply walked into the lab and took a computer."

"I was beginning to think that maybe she didn’t know that was wrong but then she asked me how she can make the computer 'untraceable' and to wipe the drive."

"I refused and we got into an argument about it."

"The next morning her boss is calling her repeatedly but she’s not answering."

"Finally, the boss leaves a message on the answering machine firing her, basically."

"My gf didn’t care because she wanted to sleep in."

"She said she’d help pay rent with a student loan she got."

"She showed me the papers and the interest rate was insanely high for a $20k loan."

"I was beginning to think she was insane or something."

"The next day I come home from work to see that my car was parked in a different parking spot."

"When I asked if she borrowed my car, she didn’t have one, she said no."

"I knew she was lying cause even my seat was repositioned and everything."

"So, the fact that she lied made me suspicious and so I kept asking, and she kept denying."

"It was really weird."

"So, I was starting to think that she needed to move out and I needed to break up with her."

"Then while I was at work (an office job), her Dad shows up and asks where his daughter was."

"Caused this big scene and everything."

"Turns out that when she moved in with me a couple of months before she never told her parents and basically 'ran away'."

"Packed all her clothes in the middle of the night and took off, cut off all contact. I had no idea. "

"The father hired a PI to help track her, and apparently this dude figured it out and was scoping my place out for a couple of weeks."

"The Dad showed me photos of me and her coming out of my apartment and at different places and stuff. "

"It was like a detective movie, it was so cliché."

"Then her dad asks why she went to the hospital a couple of days before, and I was like what are you talking about?"

"And it turns out that the day she borrowed my car she went to the hospital, like the ER."

"She stayed there a few hours in a bed sick with something and forged some docs and put her parents phone number as a contact."

"She then walked out."

"The hospital ended up calling her parents asking about the false info or something and her parents panicked."

"Anyway, I told her dad that I was going to kick her out of my apartment anyway cause she lost her job."

"And then he tells me that she put his SS# and info in the w2 for her job and he was getting her paychecks in the mail with wrong info filled out."

"I don’t know why she did that, and if she wasn’t getting money then where was she getting money to help pay the bills and rent?"

"So, I kicked her out that night and her dad picked her up, and that was the last I talked to her."

"The strangest relationship ever."- watabby

Enough Said

"She threatened to kill my dog after slapping me because I confronted her about her cheating."- soggyPretze1

Lies...

"Because suddenly 5 years into what I thought was a normal happy relationship, I stumbled across pictures of her f*cking her coworker in our bed while I was out working."- Skwerilleee

Constant Denial

"She didn't have her sh*t together and refused to get it together, because it was easier to just fall back on me for everything or just outright not do things at all and let , what I consider to be, really important stuff slide into neglect."

"She drinks way too much and doesn't see it as a problem."

"She was ultimately just childish and wanted child-like things out of life."- smalldog_

...Find Out What It Means To Me...

"Because she had absolute zero respect for everybody including me."- Owlcifer

She Just Didn't Want To Be There...

'Found out she was f*cking another dude after we went to marriage counseling, like right after the meeting."

"Yeah, I was trying to mend things, but there's no coming back from that."- Gr8NonSequitur

While I was at work...

"She started f*cking one of my friends while i was at work."

"I worked 2 full time jobs to put her through college and pay the bills."

"Her last year of college she decided she wanted to be faithful after who knows how long."

"She tried to break it off with my friend and he got mad."

"That led to my phone blowing up, while i was at my second job, with photos of things i didn’t care to see."

"She actually had the audacity to say i worked too much and never gave her attention that’s what led to the whole thing."

"Yes it’s my fault I was a diesel mechanic by day and a press operator at night."

"I loved working 90 hours a week to pay for a teaching degree and put a roof over your head since I was never there."

"That isn’t the bad part though, it was that i was the only one who didn’t know."

"Everyone in our circle of friends knew it was going on, even her family knew it was going on, and no one said sh*t to me."

"I thought i was tight with her dad and brothers."

"We hunted, i fixed all their vehicles when they broke, worked with her brother etc."

"That sucked worse than the actual cheating because its like every day you find out someone you trusted cannot be trusted anymore."

"Then eventually it's just you and the dog and your extremely bitter and drunk all the time."

"Ended up quitting my jobs, living in the back of my truck with the dog for a while just traveling and in general f**kin off, then moving back home and going through AA."

"My old high school flame and I hooked back up, got engaged, bought a house, and I’m over 6 years sober, so things ain’t so bad now."- -SSHORSEYY-

Neil Sedaka knew what he was saying when he wrote "breaking up is hard to do".

For be it acrimonious or amicable, unpleasant truths about a relationship that isn't working, and many never work, will come to the forefront.

The small comfort people who go through devastating break-ups can take, however, is that if there is a reason as clear as day why you chose to break up, you can rest assured your decision was the right one.

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