So it's not surprising then that many people have sabotaged their situations for something better and realized after the fact that they ruined a good thing.
Curious to hear from regretful strangers online, Redditor _lilyara asked:
"What's the best real-life example, you've witnessed, of someone destroying their own happiness?
People do crazy things for love.
End Of A Marriage
"Young guy at work; he's in his early to mid 20's, is married with two young kids and a third on the way. This new girl at work has been after him so hard. He was seriously tempted and conflicted. We all tried to talk him out of it; did he really want to throw away his family life for this? Do you really think this new girl is going to stick around once all the drama starts when you guys get caught?"
"He told us all one day that he finally told new girl to leave him alone; he was happy with his wife, and she didn't stand a chance."
"Three weeks later, he was sleeping in his car because he went for new girl after all; got caught, kicked out & served with divorce papers, and new girl ditched him once he got depressed over it."
– ZormkidFrobozz
Skewed Priorities
"A friend of mine quit a job that paid six figures a year because he didn't trust his girlfriend to not cheat on him while he was at work. The kicker here being she was a sex worker when they met."
"He's a great guy but a complete idiot when it comes to women."
– gimpisgawd
Some people go looking for love in all the wrong places.
Chasing Duds
"I have an insecure cousin who would regularly reject guys who were into her and chase guys who weren't interested."
"The more distant and emotionally unavailable the guy was the harder she'd try to win him over."
"The best real life example of 'I don't want to be a part of any club that would have me as a member' I've ever seen."
– _eviehalboro
Divorced And Lonely
"I know a guy who is now in his fifties/sixties who got bored with his wife and kids, cheated on her and divorced her. His wife, who had always supported him because he just couldn’t hold a job down, started a business and became a multimillionaire. She also got remarried to this amazing guy who is a major step up from the husband in every aspect."
"The guy then married this mail-order bride from Indonesia. As soon as the three years she had to stay with him to get permanent residency were over, she left him and married his richer cousin. I sometimes get invited to family events and see him there by himself, broke and with none of his kids or family members wanting to talk to him."
– blue_tongued_skink
Impaired Judgement
"My dad threw out a 15-year marriage with a woman he adored because he got drunk and screwed a random coworker."
"He’s utterly miserable now."
– illustriousocelot_
Bad vices can take over people's lives and realize until too late.
Expensive Addiction
"I know a guy who gambled away $8 million his grandfather left him. He inherited at 21. It was gone by 23."
"He's actually an incredible good guy too. That's what kills me."
– notquiteadequit
"God, what's even the point of gambling at that point? 8 million is enough to do whatever the f'k you want, assuming you don't do anything completely ridiculous."
– TruthOf42
Why You Say "No" To Drugs
"My ex friend Tom, over 10 years ago when we were teenagers he once said to me 'im going to try meth tonight' whilst we were at a bar (Australian) I literally knew nothing about drugs at the time especially meth i just knew it wasnt good, he invited me to join him but i said no because i had a gut feeling it wouldn’t end well for me. Since that day he went in and out of prison, lost all of his friends including me and completely changed as a person. Whilst walking with my wife and daughter a few months back i saw him walking his dog, he had obviously cleaned himself up, but it was like 2 strangers walking past each other. I took one silver lining out of this. It made me learn a lot about drugs all together and it showed me a different life i could have lead if i said yes all those years ago."
"Always say no to meth, it will ruin your life and take everything."
"EDIT: I forgot to add, tom had it all, a living gf, a great job etc"
– novicemma2
Not everything you strive for is exactly how you think it is.
Taking The Path With The Most Resistance
"My sister was offered an incredible well paying job doing something she's great at."
"She decided it would be too easy and opted for a far more challenging job, in a far less appealing setting, with an a**hole of a boss she was hoping to impress."
"She's f'king miserable now."
"I honestly don't get why she does this sort of shite to herself."
– callmevicious
After The Mid-Life Crisis
"A good friend I worked with for years was married to a great dude, super nice and everyone loved him, just a great guy all around. They had a couple middle school aged kids too. I think she was going through a mid-life crisis type thing but anywho, she reconnected with her old high school boyfriend on fb and they started having an affair. She ended up telling her husband about it and left him for the other guy, her husband was great about it, wanted her to be happy, great at co-parenting and didn't want to make anything harder on the kids, etc."
"The old HS boyfriend was toxic as hell, I met him a few times and he was an absolute d*ck. They fought constantly, every other week they were breaking up, kicking each other out(of her condo) or he'd just go missing for days at a time and she'd be a wreck wondering where he was; which was usually a couple hours away at the beach on a drug bender with his friends(he's in his late 40s btw)."
"She said she got bored with her life with her husband and wasn't attracted to him anymore, but I think she just went off the deep end and wanted something that wasn't there anymore; that feeling and excitement of young puppy love, but that's not what she got."
"I think some people just need drama in their life, I felt like she threw away a happy life just because she missed the drama."
Complacency is seen as an undesirable state of living. Boredom can make people feel uninspired.
And while setting goals and improving situations by becoming more active is admirable, people should also take the time to examine what is exactly lacking in their lives that make them feel as if they're stuck.
The examples above are just some reminders that making hasty decisions are not necessarily the best solutions.
Basically, check yourself before you wreck yourself.
