Fast Firings: The Quickest Ways Employees Have Gotten Canned

With many years in food service under my belt, I've had more co-workers than Mars, Incorporated has made M&M's.

So many were gone by the end of shift one.

Secrets

"New person got access to the medical records system. Week 2 - Looked up our boss and bragged about it. Was walked out and gone the second week."

JenntheGreat13

Okay. Bye.

"My first job was in a small grocery store and my boss asked a coworker to do the dishes in the bakery (baking pans, etc). She replied: 'I only do my own dishes, somebody else put these here so I’m not doing them. I’m serious. Fire me if you want, I won’t do them.'"

"Boss says 'Okay then, don’t bother finishing your shift, goodbye!'"

Selios2112

Sticky Fingers

"First day at work, hired by a temp agency. Me and one other guy, we put stuff in boxes and tape them shut, stack boxes on a pallet. He can't keep up, can barely use a tape gun, and decides it's time for a break. Goes to the lunch room and takes a lunch. It was the boss's lunch, he stole the guy's meal his wife prepared for him. The boss man came over 15 minutes later and wanted to know who ate his BBQ, sticky fingers, and BBQ on his shirt he denied it. I just looked at him and the Boss and said well I hope it was good man."

BigNotGay420

He Was Warned

"Worked at an ISP back in the 90s and had a guy working late shift. Found out quickly he wasn't answering the phone at all, but just playing video games. He was warned. The next day he walks in to work with a Voodoo2 graphics card to install in his work computer to improve the game playing. Fired before he sat down."

Beestung

"Oh Gawd, just reading the word voodoo brought out a flash of memories I buried."

calamnet2

Oh Willy

"First day on the job, gave another coworker a wet-willy. Sh*t you not."

themoistdonut

I have never understood this wet willy thing.

Completely disgusting.

Who even came up with it?

Loopholes

"Had a coworker explain to our supervisor how he found this great loophole for making extra money: if a customer had exact change, he’d just pocket the cash and cancel the order on the register."

DudebroggieHouser

On the Spot

"Had a supervisor start selling Amway from his office, hinted at favorable treatment for anyone who would buy. Reported him to HR--and when they asked if it was true, he pulled out a catalog and tried to sell them something. Fired on the spot."

walkingknight

"I did customer support at a software company that sold to other businesses, and every one of us had one customer that we hated a hell of a lot more than any other. The guy who sat next to me hated Amway."

MajorNoodles

"A high school friend's dad offered me a job with his company after I graduated, it was 'Do the interview and then go to work.' The interview consisted of a five-minute spiel about the company and a 45-minute Amway sales pitch with the understanding that if I didn't agree to sell Amway for him, I wouldn't get the job. Dad called me a couple of days later wondering to know why I didn't take the job. I started to work at about the same time the former interviewer stopped working there."

m945050

$100

"Half an hour. Working in Arby's, a new girl shows up. They run her through how to work the cash register on a few dummy orders. She takes a real order or two and then it gets slow. She asked to duck out for a minute to smoke and never came back. Register ended up being $100 short that day."

AaronKMartinez

"Always smart to rob a place after giving them your name and address."

Bobby_Newpooort

Hangover

"The guy responsible for opening the shop on Saturday morning went out and got blitzed on Friday night. We showed up to work to find his car in the lot but the doors locked. He didn't answer his phone. Had to call the owner in to get us inside. The guy was fast asleep, under his desk. He was gone before you could say hangover."

davisherm

The Eagle

"I was on a new team hired for corporate sales. They trained us as a group. We were given the task of creating a presentation with graphs and charts to show how we presented to a group and given pointers on how to improve. One guy shows up an hour late, waltzes in, and says he’s tired from the drive-in and says he needs a coffee before settling in. We are in suit and tie, and he’s wearing a dress shirt with a huge eagle on the front and jeans."

"He comes back a few minutes later, and when asked to present, he says he didn’t prepare anything, but he’s happy to answer any questions they may have about presentations. We all looked at each other in disbelief. Fired on the spot by the Manager. I heard that they asked him to return his laptop, and he stiffed them for months before they sent a repo man to his door to pick it up."

WildBillyBoy33

Buh-Bye

"A colleague let a middle school kid drive the bus. Buh-bye!"

Useful_Exchange3583

"When I was in middle and high school they hired students with driver's licenses to drive the busses. This was in the 80's."

Calypso_gypsie

My school bus drivers were all nuts.

I always thanked GOD when I got home in one piece.