Her boyfriend was just too tired of rolling up to work in a pink buggy.
Suppose it doesn't really scream "business casual."
22-year-old Redditor "newoldcar," as her username implies, recently found herself in an automobile controversy, which would then become a relationship controversy.
It all began with a pink buggy, a very beloved pink buggy. Sure, the thing probably couldn't traverse snowy hills or tow a cord of wood, but it worked for her.
But problems arose when her boyfriend took it upon himself to impose some changes to their automobile situation and she didn't like it one bit.
She shared details of the entire ordeal on Reddit's "Am I the A**hole (AITA)" subReddit where she knew she could count on a vast array of viewpoints and an answer to whether she was being the unreasonable one in this scenario.
Her post begins with the origin story of the car in question. It was a gift whose meaning went on to grow.
"So I got a car as a graduation present when I was 18 from my father, who has since died of cancer. It was only a couple years old, and it's a [2013 model] pink buggy."
"I absolutely adore it, I've always been pretty girly and it was the perfect car for me! (I wasn't some spoiled little rich kid though, I paid my own insurance and gas and my father saved for years to get me my dream car if I graduated with a 4.0, which I did)."
"I take such good care of it inside and out and everyone in my life knows how much it means to me, for aesthetic reasons as well as sentimental."
But just prior to her writing the anecdote, some trouble in buggy paradise cropped up.
"Anyways, I turn 23 next week and today I was inside watching tv when my [38-year-old, male] boyfriend , who I thought was running errands, came home excited and told me to come outside. I ran out and saw a light silver car in the driveway. I was kinda confused cuz I already have a car but I was trying not to show it.
"I asked what year it was and he said 2001. He told me he bought it off some guy for $700, and the 'only' repairs it needed was new tires and brakes, saying, 'You can finally sell your bug now!' "
"He wants to use that money to take a vacation after travel bans lift, too."
After being patient enough to sit through that unilateral decision-making, she returned with her own take on what was best.
"I told him nicely that I appreciated the gesture but that I already had a car, that I love, and that's much newer and more reliable. He got pissed off and told me how ungrateful I was being and that I was some spoiled little kid who didn't know what it was like to work for anything (which is bs, I pay most of our bills and have a savings, he spends all his on weed and video games)."
"He then basically told me, with much more cussing and screaming, that he wasn't gonna be driven around in some ugly little kid car anymore and it's embarrassing that his younger girlfriend drives him to work and events etc. in something 'straight out of a 2000's teen movie.' "
"I told him HE could use the car he'd just bought to drive himself around then and he said no because he doesn't like driving, he wants me to do it, just not in my bug."
The rant did not cool his jets. He exploded and bounced.
"At that point I was at a loss and went back inside and he then kicked the side of my bug, got in the silver car, and took off. Idk where he is now and I don't care. I feel like he got me a gift for HIM and not me, and proceeded to insult me for telling him I don't want it."
After mulling the episode over awhile, and even asking for advice in real life, she felt unsure enough to reach out to the internet.
"I told my friend about it and she took his side, saying I need to take his feelings about it into account and that my bug is kind of embarrassing, and I'm too old for it now."
"Idk what to think, I love my car and I don't wanna change who I am just cuz i'm a few years older now, but I also don't want this car to ruin my relationship. I also feel bad cuz I basically said 'f you' to his gift, which was pretty expensive as far as gifts go."
"I don't want to get rid of it, but if i'm the a**hole for being stubborn and reacting the way I did then I'll definitely apologize and maybe give it to my 15 year old cousin so I can still have a connection to it."
"Let me know, AITA?"
Simply put, Reddit is NOT a fan of her boyfriend. The comment section rang with support for her response and behavior.
"NTA," for "Not the A**hole," was the first thing out of the mouths of these Redditors.
"NTA. Your boyfriend wants you to sell your much nicer car so he can use the money to travel. You deserve so much better." -- humdingerday
"NTA. A pink bug does not have an age limit. To legit say, you are too old for this car, is absolutely ridiculous."
"Your boyfriend absolutely bought that car for himself, and doesn't seem to care why you want to hold onto the bug. Especially since he has plans with the money you would get if you sell the bug." -- XxQueenOfSwordsXx
"NTA and there's absolutely nothing wrong with a 'silly' coloured car. A co-worker once described my lovely new bright orange car as tragic, so when we went out for lunch a few days later he's the only one that didn't get a lift."
"I don't think my boyfriend loves my car, but he's certainly not stupid enough to say anything about it when I use it to drive him places so he doesn't have to." -- sabre-toooooth
Far more people went further than identifying blame. These comments encouraged her to take this as a sign and make a big move.
"Let the bug ruin your relationship with your boyfriend. Consider that to be another gift from your dad." -- sparklingfountain
"NTA- break up with this man, he is weak if he can't understand the sentimental value of the car and is embarrassed because it's pink. The fact he kicked it. Bruuuh you handled it better than I would've." -- 1lofanight
The combination of his age and attitude were a common sticking point for folks.
"NTA wtf so many red flags with this man who is 15 years older than you. Run girl run." -- gypsy_phoenix
"NTA. That's ridiculous of him to have an issue with your car and try to get you to get rid of it cause he's embarrassed. I don't know you or your relationship, but I would be highly concerned about that type of behavior."
"Also you're dating someone 15 years older than you and you're the one doing all the driving and paying the majority of the bills? What are you getting out of this relationship?!" -- meddleofmycause
"NTA. A 38 year old dating a 22 year old is pretty sketchy to begin with. On top of that he's embarrassed to be seen in your car. Maybe it's time to consider if it's worth it." -- AccuratePain
"You're dating a man who's with a 22 year old Because women his own age won't put up with his sh*t. I'm concerned with your boyfriends work ethic, spending habits and the way he speaks to you...which is emotionally abusive."
"Why can't he drive himself to work everyday, especially in the new car he just bought? Btw your pink bug sounds awesome!" -- Mochafrap512
An update to the original post captured some of the developments that these comments helped empower.
"I definitely hear you guys loud and clear. I don't know if I was willfully ignorant before or just naive but I realize now that this goes deeper than just a car. The longer I think about it the madder I get and everyone's comments are making me feel like i'm not so crazy anymore, so thank you!"
"I now get that I'm getting nothing out of this relationship, and him kicking my car honestly did scare me and I don't want him to eventually do that to me. He texted me a little bit ago saying I needed to choose the bug or him, along with some name-calling etc."
"So, I've decided to choose my bug, and by extension my dad, and break up with him/cut him out completely."
The update then closed with some logistics, and further troubles on the way for the boyfriend.
"I reconnected with my older brother who lives a town over and explained everything to him, he didn't know any of it. He's letting me stay with him for as long as I need because I'm scared of what my ex will do."
"I'm taking all valuables, documents, etc. and informing the police about him kicking my car. My neighbor also watched the argument and is going to vouch for me."
"He isn't on the lease so I can easily kick him out but we were planning on moving anyways so I'll just find my own place now, idk what he'll do."
"Maybe he can sleep in his new car."
It would be hasty to say that Reddit advice brought about the end of this relationship. Of course, the inkling was likely rattling in the back of her mind.
But it certainly wouldn't be going too far to say that a long list of unanimous conclusions--even from internet strangers--carries some influence.
*If you enjoyed this article, you can read more like it by clicking on the AITA link below.*
The book 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life: Identifying and Dealing with Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other High-Conflict Personalities is available here.
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