For some of us, there is that one person who is the antithesis of all that is good.
"What minor inconvenience do you wish upon your worst enemy?"
Minor bodily discomforts can be a splendid idea.
Invasion Of The Crack
"Long loose hairs in their underwear and that cringey feeling when it gets in their butt."
– AzureTerrace
Evil Crumbs
"After every meal, you get something stuck in your teeth, and you don’t have any way of getting it out."
– -PlugUgly
When they just can't seem to catch a break, it's like a little present.
Incomplete Meal
"May the Chik-fil-a employee forget to give you Chik-fil-a sauce with your meal (you REALLY wanted it) and may you only realize this after having driven 20 minutes away."
– Uruk-HiThere
No Spot For You
"That every 'available' parking spot at the packed mall/grocery store has a mini car in it."
– Auslan02
A Spider's Journey
"That feeling when you're out walking and inexplicably walk face first into some strands of a spider's web even though you're in a relatively open space."
"You wipe at your face but now you've got the eternal feeling of web strands behind your ear, in your hair, on the nape of your neck."
"You open hand wipe again, chicken claw it, try to trace the line with a single digit. None of it is any good."
"Maybe the spider came away with the bit of web when you walked into it? It could be in your hair right now. Maybe it's laying eggs at this very moment. Maybe one day a distant civilisation will find your perfectly preserved head encased in centuries old gossamer web."
"There it is again. Behind your ear. You don't even raise your hand this time. It's all over. This is your life now."
– HumphreyGo-Kart
Bad tech can do your evil bidding.
STOP
"I hope that every traffic light turns red for them right as they reach it."
– Nintendevotion
No Snooze For The Wicked
"Waking up 30 mins before their alarm clock every morning."
– Ccaster0620
"I'm your worst enemy? This happens to me every day."
– Slight-Ad-1744
Bad Insertion
"Their USB cable is the right way around after 5 tries."
– furstimus
Inaccessible Tune
"Every time they get in their car, their favorite song is going off, they are always in a safe place but their cellphone service won’t work so they can’t play it in their car."
"And if they have the cd, the scratch is only on that song and skips to the very end."
– ParticularWatermelon
A little bit of pain is punishment enough.
Just a little.
Tiny Daggers
"Tiny Invisible splinter between two toes."
– AlgaeWafers
So Full Of It
"Anus inflammation so he can't sh*t and then finds out how full of sh*t he is."
– ddelGuy
Redditors here are definitely highly imaginative, and the forms of punishments were pure evil.
I, however, don't have it in me to come up with such creative tactics to get back at a nemesis.
But how awesome would it be if someone who truly irked me went to Panda Express, and every time they ordered their favorite, Orange Chicken, it's sold out?
Yeah, pretty awesome. Mwa-hahaha (twiddles fingers menacingly).
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