People Reveal The Pettiest Thing Their Ex Took From Them In The Divorce

Divorce is rarely ever easy and fun.

No one exits unscathed.

And besides the emotional trauma of it all, you must deal with the mundane and boring minutia.

The topic of "who gets what and why" can bring out the pure evil in everybody.

I've seen divorces where people ripped up carpeting because they chose the color.

Never mind the kids and the pets and the plants.

You haven't seen anything until you've seen people reclaiming light bulbs at midnight.

I kid you not.

People really get into the power of the petty.

And petty ain't pretty.

Redditor baninaday wanted to hear about all of the belongings people's exes have cruelly absconded with, so they asked:

"Divorcees of Reddit, what's the pettiest thing they took from you in the divorce?"

Solids

"My rock collection. I started it when I was a kid and collected cool rocks from different places I'd traveled around the world. 30+ years of cool rocks. Three years later still mad."

- getmeasodaplease

"That is pretty rotten. But since your collection was yours before you got married, she owes you money for that. Just to be petty. Unless you weren't married, then whatever, they're gone. She threw them out the window on her way home."

- ClownfishSoup

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The Missing Piece

"I was doing a 1,000-piece jigsaw puzzle during the separation. On the way out after coming to get his stuff, he took a piece out of the puzzle box. I never got it back 😂."

- RedDora89

"As a kid, I used to build World War II model airplanes. Spent hours upon hours on each one. Whenever I would get into a fight with my sister, she'd sneak into my room and snap off one of the blades on the propeller. You can't glue them back on. It would absolutely ruin the model and when I complained to Mom, she cared about it as much as if I told her my sister had killed a fly. Eventually, she did this until every single one was irrevocably ruined, and I threw them all out. Your jigsaw puzzle reminded me of that."

- hecton101

Who's Kyle?

"I was in Shreveport gambling with the guys for a friend's bachelor party and had found out my wife was cheating about 2 weeks before. I did some recon and found out his name. She called me incessantly asking about 'who this girl was and who that girl was' I'd been drinking, so I outright asked her 'Who's Kyle?'... Silence. I told her we were comped another night and I'd be home by 3 pm the next day, get your sh*t and go and turned my phone off."

"She got her 3 brothers together and came and cleaned the house out... almost everything. Blinds, curtains, toilet brush all of it. They got razor blades and sliced all my clothes up as well as the carpets. They left all the utensils but bent them all.
I came home the next day, walked in, and immediately started laughing. I went to the yard, grabbed a lawn chair, brought it in, and sat down.

"I turned on my phone, and not 2 minutes later, she's calling... 'I took this, I took that, you got nothing blah, blah, blah.' I let her go on and on, and then she asked, 'How do you like that?' My answer was, 'As long as you are gone, everything else can be replaced, including you,' and hung up. We never spoke again and my lawyer got the damages paid for in the divorce. Win, win."

- Nine_and_a_Quarter

Do you know Eduardo Sanchez?

"We had gone no contact, and he didn't show up to the divorce hearing. It was an uncontested and simple divorce, so no big deal. Except that when the judge started reviewing the documents, she said 'Do you know Eduardo Sanchez?'"

"When he was served papers, he signed a false name, and nobody, including my attorney, thought to check until we were in court. No way to prove it, but I could tell from the judge's eye roll that he was fu*king me over one last time."

"So, he took an extra month from me and additional legal fees because my incompetent attorney refused to admit that they had absolutely failed me on the most basic action I hired them to complete."

- filthyantagonist

Do you know how much eggs cost?!?!

"THIS IS MY MOMENT!!! He left the condo after months of begging. I was working. Said he was going to take half of everything. I came home and he did as he said. Eventually, go to the fridge to make dinner. Open fridge. He LITERALLY CUT THE CARTON OF EGGS IN HALF!!!! I laughed my a** off and never mentioned it to him and now we are great friends who co-parent our daughter wonderfully."

- Striking_Guava_5100

To Cut or Not to Cut?

"She took my chainsaw. WTF she's never going to use the chainsaw."

- rscottyb86

"To cut things in half, obvs."

- IfICouldStay

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Crazy!

"I came home one day and the house was empty. Like completely empty. The ice cubes were taken out of the freezer. What kind of sick bi**h takes the ice cubes out of the freezer?"

- TriscuitCracker

"I had a Senior NCO go out the NTC (Army National Training Center) for a 30-day rotation. The house was completely empty except for a three-pound log of ground beef that she put on the kitchen counter on day 10 of the rotation from the smell that pervaded the house. On base housing, too."

- Mike7676

"My cousin's wife did that. She even dug up all the vegetables in the garden."

- zim3019

Almost 30 Years

"I was working 24 on/24 off shifts as a surgery resident in a big city ER. After she told me she wanted a divorce on my birthday, she packed up. One day I came home and everything was in boxes and she was gone. Was too tired to look in any of the boxes. Worked another 24 and came home, boxes were gone, and I had only a few utensils in the kitchen. Had to buy some paper plates and plastic utensils in order to eat."

"As others have said, everything is replaceable, and her replacement was a massive upgrade, we've been married almost 30 years. And she missed out, I'm in my 60s now and my life has been great."

- getridofwires

How to Shower?

"The shower curtain. After forcing me out of her home, insisting that I find an apartment immediately (note: I am away from my home state and have no family or friends to rely on) I slept in my car within transitions until my apartment lease could be signed. It was the day I signed and took about the full 24 hrs moving everything to and from by myself. I’m sweaty and exhausted and all I wanted was a shower. The only box I had discovered she took something from was from my toiletries. Never been so pissed off in my life to see that missing."

- Medical_Asparagus_98

Not the Hole!

"One time, a woman came into the bar I was working at and was tipping big. She was cute, respectful, and, again, a great tipper. It turns out that she was the now ex-wife of one of the shi**ier regulars, and she was there to make him uncomfortable. He tried complaining about her being there, and I kicked him out. This lady became a friend of mine, but she's so petty that she took her ex-husband's watering hole from him."

- Master_Air_8485

Guilty as Charged!

"I don't know if it fits here but here we go, because I was the taker 😅. First serious relationship, together for 6 years. Agreed to get a house together, since he was earning more than me, he agreed to purchase the house for us (in his name) and I will cover the interior/furnishing expenses."

"2 years after moving in together, found out he was cheating with a colleague, had a fight, and left, He called, cried, and begged to come back which I did only to find out he was still seeing the other girl, so I finally decided to walk out for good."

"Found out his schedule and layover details through a friend (he is a pilot), went home when he was out of town, packed everything I bought which was everything (there was nothing left except his clothes on the floor and empty house) including all the gifts I gave him and left a note saying I am taking what's mine, you keep yours."

"Got a not so gentleman like a call in 2 days and his exact words were, 'You took the garbage bag and disposable plates too?'"

- shi**ytherapistofdog

Oh Scottie...

"My ex collected Scottie dog figurines and the like. Someone had given me a bottle of black and white scotch for Christmas. He insisted the bottle was his because it had a Scottie dog on it. He didn’t even drink!"

- LifeHappenzEvryMomnt

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Tick-Tock

"I kept this big a** clock. I told her you can take anything and everything in this house but you are not getting that clock. It was a weekend of non-stop begging for this damn clock that I wouldn’t have paid $30 for. It was listed at almost $300. I gave in and bought it. When divorce time came her stupid a** clock was the only thing I didn’t want her to have."

- Different-Version359

"My ex insisted on keeping our big clock that I picked out. It was one of the few things he did not want to give in on. When I moved in with him he had no decorations hanging or any clocks up. It wasn’t super expensive, got it at Lowe’s, and he probably needs it more than me."

"I got the Keurig, the PlayStation, and a huge comfy white chair that rocks back and forth. Although, if you lean too far back you’ll fall backward. I didn’t know that until I sat in it after hours of unpacking and setting up my bed."

- LindsayLoserface

EVERYTHING in its place...

"Mine was kind of the opposite? He left me with EVERYTHING. I was left dealing with a 5 bedroom house with a pool in the suburbs while he took a suitcase of clothes and peaced out. I had to deal with realtors, moving vans, painters, and a house full of furniture with nowhere to put it and nowhere to go. I’m still cranky about it."

- i_am_regina_phalange

Nasty, nasty stuff...

Not so much of a take, but a d**k-move low-blow. My ex cleaned out my house days after I left for war in the Middle East… moved the crap she didn’t want into a storage unit… and made sure my fancy military uniforms I wasn’t using overseas (think the Navy 'choker' Whites, tuxedo equivalent, etc…) and put EVERY damn box on top of them on the floor. I came back a year later to find these uniforms destroyed. Nasty, nasty stuff…

"Oh, and she left me to head to another country that didn’t use US electrical power, yet took EVERY appliance… some succubus-next-level petty spite on top of the destruction of my uniforms."

- Specific-Anything212

A Strict 50/50

"My ex and I split medical costs for our kids 50/50. Once he insisted that I repay him 50% of the cost of a Benadryl our son took at his house during a visit."

- StrangersWithAndi

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People can be so-so petty.

Present company included.

I can definitely be a Petty Petty Patterson.

It's not cool to be nasty, though.

And I know pennies count, but splitting Benadryl?